At the End of Memory
When the piano—the wrapping that had defined her, the backdrop of her entire existence—was stripped away, nothing remained. She needed only to look at where she stood today to know it. To know exactly what her place was, here and now.
The tears that had gathered at Eun-jae's lashes spilled down her pale cheeks. Just as she bowed her head low—
"Let's have the families meet before the month is out."
At his sudden words, her head lifted slowly.
"You were in a cast anyway, so you wouldn't have been able to wear a dress anytime soon. Now that it's off, work hard on your rehab until the wedding."
Eun-jae stared at him with bewildered eyes. Unlike her, who was thoroughly thrown, he wore an easy expression, as if none of this were of any particular consequence.
"I thought it was already over. That day I said I wouldn't—"
"I never said I wouldn't."
He tossed the words out in an unhurried voice, but his gaze, unlike hers, was unyielding.
"Think carefully. Did I ever say anything like that?"
It was true. She had never heard those words from him. He had simply said he understood that day, and she had taken that to mean it was finished.
"Did Go Eun-jae follow a man she wasn't even going to marry all the way here?"
"……"
"What did you trust me with? Following me here, knowing I could do anything I wanted to you."
His bluntness made her face burn. Because he was entirely right. Earlier she had been so exhausted she would have clung to anyone for comfort, and the one who had reached out a hand at her side had been Cha Mu-yeol—so she had even less reason to refuse. Only now did it dawn on her how inconsistent her own actions had been.
"Go Eun-jae."
Dark desire spread across Cha Mu-yeol's well-formed features. Eun-jae couldn't even look away. Then his large hand rose and touched her cheek.
"I won't ask what happened. Not a thing."
His thumb soothed the raw, swollen skin around her eyes. Past her lashes, across her cheek. Then his warm hand slid down and found her lips, and Eun-jae's pupils trembled without restraint.
"Pretend you don't know. Pretend it was a mistake."
"……"
"Take me tonight. I came here to sleep with you."
How could he talk about sleeping together as if it were nothing? He looked so composed she could barely process what her own ears had heard.
"Though knowing your personality, you probably couldn't even do that."
As he spoke, he slowly stepped closer and tilted his head. Close enough that the slightest movement would bring their lips together. When a thoroughly flustered Eun-jae tried to turn away, the large hand that had been toying with her lips slid to the nape of her neck and held her fast.
"Just consider yourself caught by me."
"Wait—!"
A sudden heat pressed against her lips. The rest of her words vanished into his mouth. Contrary to any notion that even a kiss from him might be tender, Cha Mu-yeol's kiss was thoroughly, blatantly carnal. The hot flesh that pushed in so quickly left her lips parting, helpless.
"Nnh!"
Eun-jae squeezed her eyes shut. Every time his wet, clinging saliva spilled over, it slid down her throat whether she willed it or not. The fierce suction on her tender flesh burned every stray thought from her mind in an instant. She could tell from the hand braced firmly at the back of her neck. This would never end with a kiss.
As if his claim that he had come here to sleep with her were the simple truth, he coiled his tongue around hers and sucked it in with greedy hunger.
"Hah—mmph."
Unfamiliar sensation tangled with something so raw it sent a shiver through her. Her left hand was still caught in his. Just as the flustered woman tried to lift her right—
"Hngh!"
A sharp pain shot from her shoulder to her fingertips, and a moan slipped through their joined lips. His movement stopped as if a switch had been thrown. He lapped the saliva from her lips with the tip of his tongue, then slowly opened his eyes and looked at the woman before him.
"……"
His pitch-black eyes, studying Eun-jae's pained face, found her awkwardly stiffened right arm. When Mu-yeol carefully took hold of it, her delicate brow furrowed even more deeply.
"Hah—"
"Relax."
The way she hunched even tighter from the pain was nothing but pitiful. Mu-yeol began to knead her rigid arm more carefully still, as if to ease the tension from it.
"Hhk."
Whether from the pain or something else, Eun-jae finally broke into tears. Looking down at her, so clearly in distress, he slipped an arm beneath her and lifted her easily against him. Then he slowly straightened her injured arm and looped it around his neck.
"W-wait."
Eun-jae caught at him urgently as he started to walk inside. She shook her head, staring at him with anxious eyes.
"I—I can't. I don't have the courage."
And yet, even as she said it, another feeling kept rising in her. What if she did as Cha Mu-yeol said—pretended not to know, pretended it was a mistake, and let herself be held? If it was Cha Mu-yeol, he might be able to get her out of that place. She chewed her lip, hesitating, and Mu-yeol spoke first.
"What's the problem? I told you—I'm the one who caught you. Not the other way around."
It was the kind of line that said he already knew exactly what she was wrestling with.
"Everything I told you. All of it…"
The end of her sentence came out soaked. Everything she had confessed to Mu-yeol was the problem. A body that might never be able to conceive. A situation no one wanted. And those people who would raise hell as if they meant to kill her—people who weren't even family.
"So."
His unwavering gaze found her. Mu-yeol spoke with a look that did not falter.
"Pretend it was a mistake. Use me as your excuse."
His low, heavy voice traveled through the body pressed against his. The tears that had gathered at her lashes fell to her cheeks.
"……Hhk."
With that, Mu-yeol headed for the bedroom. There was not a trace of hesitation in the stride of the man carrying her. As if this had been the only reason he had come here at all. Held in his arms, Eun-jae could only look lost, her face crumpled as if she might cry.
He walked quickly into the bedroom and laid her carefully on the bed. Then he reached out and tapped the mood lamp on the nightstand.
"……"
Only then did the room grow light. The soft glow washed over his face. His eyes, darker still, looked down at her. When she tried to lower the arm looped around his neck, that tingling, shooting pain spread through it again.
"I like you like this. Stay as you are."
A lazy curve touched the corner of his mouth as he spoke, and he slowly lowered himself. Their lips met again, deep and thorough. His hot breath and the scent of his body sank deep into her lungs. The heat filling her mouth made her toes curl of their own accord.
Whether she meant to or not, the arm he had wrapped around his own neck limited how she could move. After weeks in a cast, the still-stiff arm hurt considerably at even the slightest jostle.
"Haa."
Mu-yeol traced the even line of her teeth with the tip of his tongue and teased the tender inside of her mouth. His tongue moved with such practiced ease that her breathing fell into complete disarray. Eyes squeezed shut, Eun-jae let out ragged little breaths. As if he meant to drink even those, Mu-yeol would not release her reddened lips. The saliva tangled between them was so blatantly intimate it made her mind go hazy. Swallowing what spilled over, Eun-jae pulled his neck closer.
The air around them burned hot.
"H-hey…"
When he briefly released her lips at the sight of her squirming and panting so desperately, Eun-jae mumbled in a rush.
"Hngh."
His large hand, stroking her tense, slender body as she huddled in on herself, closed around the full flesh of her breast. He kneaded her through her clothes, but the startling sensation made her lips part on their own. There was no hesitation in his movements. As if he truly meant to have her tonight, no matter what. Her breast was crushed without mercy in Mu-yeol's grip. At the considerable force of it, her slim waist twisted and arched at once.
"Does Go Eun-jae not know my name?"
"That's not—"
"Then why is it always 'hey'? It doesn't feel great, being called that."
"Hnh. Haa."
Where had the courteous, well-mannered Cha Mu-yeol gone? His voice was endlessly tender, but the moment he climbed onto the bed, his tone had changed. As if he were a different person. Even as she stared at him with bewildered eyes, Mu-yeol's hands kept moving.
A soft, wet sound. Another. Then another. Her forehead, her eyes, the tip of her nose—his gaze followed the slow descent of his lips until it landed on her reddened mouth. He tapped her lips, swollen from how he had just sucked them, and let out a quiet laugh.
"Say it. My name."
"……"
Come to think of it, she had never called him by name. There had never been occasion to—but now that she tried to form the words, they would not quite leave her lips. Watching her hesitate, lips barely moving, he whispered in a low, coaxing voice.
"At this rate I won't hear my own name even once before the wedding."
"Hey."
At the "hey" that came out yet again, his brow arched sharply.
"I… I want to wash up."
It was her first time, after all. She didn't want to do it like this. It was too embarrassing, too mortifying. And her stockings were completely torn, her knees fully exposed. If he would just give her time to wash. She looked at him pleadingly, but Mu-yeol only smiled faintly.
When she fidgeted with the hand around his neck, Mu-yeol took her arm and slowly lowered it to the bed.
"I like you just like this."
Even at her earnest plea, Mu-yeol let his gaze travel over her with unhurried ease. As his eyes moved down from her face, she had the illusion of being stripped completely bare. When his gaze reached her knees, it grew a shade darker. Heat pooled low in her belly under the path of Mu-yeol's eyes. Why did just being looked at make her feel this way? At the strange, unfamiliar sensation, Eun-jae's pupils trembled without cease.
"It's exciting, too."
When he stroked the knee where her stocking had torn, Eun-jae's face flushed scarlet. With wildly unsteady eyes, she parted her trembling lips.