Endless Storytelling and the Question of Surrender
Yeong-ah kept going. “Tell me more. Why that day, the clouds...”
Hwigyeom crossed his legs quickly and gently pushed her hand away, diverting her attention.
Even in a situation on the verge of exploding, he was relieved that the final line of their conversation had barely been cut off.
Namu Amitabha, Guanshiyin Bodhisattva. Hwigyeom chanted the prayer he didn’t believe in, calming his heart.
Yeong-ah, who had no idea about his inner turmoil, started her story with bright eyes once more.
“That day I saw clouds shaped like balloons in the sky and suddenly remembered it. Suho oppa saved me back then too. Just like Manager-nim, he called me ‘baby.’”
“Really?”
His chest, which had been boiling endlessly, suddenly cooled down sharply.
“Yes. We were climbing the mountain path and got pulled somewhere. At that time oppa hugged me tight and said, ‘Baby, you have to wake up now,’ while holding me.”
Yeong-ah’s words were something Hwigyeom had clearly never heard before, yet a hazy image of that scene appeared in his mind. For a moment his arms moved as if on their own, stretching out like someone else’s.
“Like this?”
Yeong-ah, suddenly pulled into Hwigyeom’s arms, looked up at him with wide eyes.
“Eh? That’s right, but why all of a sudden...?”
Hwigyeom didn’t know why either. He had moved without realizing it. But given the situation, there were plenty of excuses he could make.
“Don’t miss the chance right in front of you. You were explaining the situation naturally, like accidental skinship, and then suddenly pulled back. It’s just how it happened.”
Yeong-ah, who had been dazed for a moment, let out a sigh of admiration and slipped out of Hwigyeom’s arms.
“Wow, Manager-nim! Living puppet! I’m totally hooked. My heart is beating fast again. Let me try this time.”
With a serious expression, Yeong-ah spread both arms wide as she faced Hwigyeom.
“And then oppa hugged me tight.”
Following her lines, Yeong-ah threw her arms around Hwigyeom. The sudden attack made Hwigyeom’s head spin.
Yeong-ah let out an awkward scream and shoved Hwigyeom away with a thud.
“Oh no! Sorry, I got carried away without realizing it.”
After straightening her unsteady body and rubbing the back of her neck, Yeong-ah continued.
“Down in the valley I cried buckets of apologies, but up on the mountain the voice that hugged me was surprisingly calm and gentle.”
Feelings she couldn’t understand kept piling up. This time Hwigyeom felt annoyed and even a little sad.
“The temperature difference is too big. Isn’t it a different person up there and down there?”
His words naturally came out sharp.
“No. No one else has ever hugged me like that. All my orphanage friends hated me.”
“Why?”
“They lived in a temple and believed in Buddha. That’s why I went to the mountain alone. It was because of what my friends said. The monk gave me a Dharma name, but I also had a baptismal name.”
Yeong-ah’s once lively eyes slowly drooped.
Seeing the innocent child who had to endure sadness even though she hadn’t done anything wrong made Hwigyeom’s heart ache too. Just how much would such a pitiful sight hurt?
Hwigyeom gently pulled Yeong-ah’s bowed head onto his shoulder.
Yeong-ah looked up at him with surprised eyes, as if she hadn’t learned anything.
“Oh!”
One beat too late, Yeong-ah grinned and pressed her head firmly against his shoulder. The soft strands of her hair tickled Hwigyeom’s nape.
“Every time that happened, Suho oppa would say, ‘Yeong-ah is really practicing religious integration,’ and he’d stop the kids from using difficult words by covering their mouths.”
With a faint smile, Yeong-ah continued.
“Even though I’m often upset with him, I keep liking him because of those memories. But honestly, I liked those friends too.”
“Cute, idiot.”
Knowing the kind-hearted child couldn’t possibly hate others, Hwigyeom said it anyway. Instead, he stroked the head of the kind child.
“......Eh?”
At that moment Yeong-ah’s eyes widened. Her blinking eyes were clear even though she was recounting a painful story.
“Why? Not an idiot? You should know how to get angry when someone treats you badly. Just forgiving everyone is cheap forgiveness.”
“It wasn’t always like that. When he told me to shave my head bald because I was going to become a monk anyway, I cursed at him too.”
Why did she curse so much that her fist clenched tight?
“What?”
“Shave your own bald head, you idiot!”
Yeong-ah shouted and giggled. Her small head made a cute noise against Hwigyeom’s nape.
The feeling wasn’t strange to him, so Hwigyeom felt oddly unfamiliar.
After the commotion settled, Hwigyeom told Yeong-ah, “Just look at my eyes.”
“Like this?”
Looking at Yeong-ah’s obedient gaze, Hwigyeom smiled and nodded. Her lips curved into a slight smile too, and dimples appeared on her round cheeks.
“Yeong-ah.”
Yu Yeong-ah’s smile was harmless. It turned people instantly defenseless and made them blurt out words they hadn’t planned.
“Shall we date?”
“......Eh?”
Her brown eyes shook wildly. Hwigyeom was surprised too by his own words, but he didn’t want to look away.
He stared calmly at her trembling eyes. Yeong-ah’s gaze probed his face anxiously but didn’t turn away.
Yeong-ah spoke first. She pushed herself up from where she was leaning and pressed both hands against his chest.
“Haa... My heart’s about to burst again. So that’s what you mean by natural skinship leading to a confession?”
Taking Hwigyeom’s silence as confirmation, Yeong-ah’s expression had become comfortable. On the other hand, Hwigyeom felt his energy drain away. It was as if all strength left his body.
Yeong-ah took deep breaths—huh, huh—then smiled brightly at him.
“Yes! I’ll date you! Then starting today, we’re official?”
A tiny fang peeked out as her cheeks flushed pink, and a soft downy hair sprouted on them, sparkling delicately.
Hwigyeom snapped back to reality. His dark heart had been stroking her cheeks and demanding more. This class was only nominal; he was filling his own desires with a pure Yeong-ah.
Concentrate. Hwigyeom shook his head exaggeratedly and stood up from his seat.
“Sorry. I must have spoken out of turn.”
“Eh?”
Yeong-ah stood up sharply after him. Hwigyeom warned her sharply.
“So don’t say yes right away. Say no twice or three times. And when someone asks you out, report to me first. Do you understand?”
“Hiiing...”
Yeong-ah made a strange sound and flopped onto the sofa.
“What if I say no again?”
Then date me instead. Hwigyeom barely pushed back the strange voice trying to jump out and took on his cold teacher’s attitude.
“Want to date someone with no perseverance or guts like that?”
“......”
Yeong-ah hugged her pouch and turned her head away sharply. Hwigyeom suddenly had the urge to tear the pouch on her chest to shreds.
Madman.
He muttered to himself and walked to the table with the laptop and tasks stacked on it.
“The teacher has lost all will. The underachiever should go sleep.”
“You said you’re tired. Aren’t you sleeping?”
His inner turmoil had been too loud. From past experience, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep.
“Go to bed before I assign you work.”
Hwigyeom issued a threat, but Yeong-ah made another strange sound and simply flopped onto the sofa.
“Can I just lie here and then go? At night I always sleep alone and when someone’s with me, I get all excited and happy.”
Her words dampened the mood again, despite his best efforts.
According to Hyeon-gyeol, a lonely piece of paper came to mind, making Hwigyeom feel even more complicated.
“The lights are off.”
“Yes. I usually sleep with the lights off anyway. I’ll be back soon to sleep.”
Yet Yeong-ah’s confident declaration was followed by soft snoring and deep sleep.
It was inconvenient to leave her there, but he couldn’t carry her inside and wake her. He should cover her with a blanket. Hwigyeom approached in indecision.
Even in sleep, Yeong-ah was still hugging her pouch. It must have been something Suho had given her.
“Pretending someone else gave it to you... tsk.”
It was an odd sight, but looking at her tightly closed eyes and cheeks flushed pink, even in the messy scene, Hwigyeom found himself smiling.
“She really is a baby.”
“Mmm... I’m not a baby...”
Yeong-ah muttered in her sleep, and Hwigyeom’s mind flashed with a voice that matched her words perfectly.
‘Really? Then what’s your name?’