Guiding the Obsessive Yandere, Childhood Friend, and Nerd — Chapter 3

"Right! That's exactly the problem! So nothing happened after all!"

"Have other people actually been judging guides by size when they get guided?"

Seo-ah asked, tilting her head with perfect composure. Kim Han faltered for a moment, his mind drifting back to Seo-ah's first day at the bureau.

"Guide Lee Seo-ah, do you have an ideal type or anything like that?"

"Honestly, I've never dated anyone before, so I have a lot of romantic fantasies about it. Which means yes, I do have pretty specific standards."

It made sense that she'd be careful, never having been with a man.

"I want someone handsome, and tall. Anyone under 180 centimeters doesn't even read as a man to me. And his body should be above average too — and since I'll be guiding him, his genitals should be big."

Those were more specific standards than he'd expected.

Specific, yes — but they were the kind of standards anyone might dream of. Kim Han had taken it as a joke back then, and he took it as a joke now. Surely she'd tossed out those conditions just to keep the weirdos from latching onto her.

There's no way she meant it seriously.

"Well, not exactly — but when a guy whips it out and asks me to look at his downstairs, and it turns out to be small on top of everything, he gets branded as one of the weirdos, that's all."

Since contact guiding was part of the job, it seemed the rumor hadn't been entirely without effect. Kim Han casually let slip the fact that after the rumor spread, Esper Lee Sang-hyun had become so withdrawn that contact guiding was no longer possible for him.

Oh no... erectile dysfunction.

It was a somewhat tragic story.

"Wait, there's a rumor going around? I never told a soul. How did that even..."

"The word is your standards are face, body, and... um, size down there."

Seo-ah blinked slowly. It wasn't a rumor — it was the truth. That much was surely the bare minimum to satisfy the heart of a twenty-four-year-old lifelong virgin like herself.

"Every time I catch someone spreading that garbage, I tell them you're not that kind of person, but nobody believes me. This is why rumors are terrifying. How is a story that ridiculous even circulating?"

It was true, but a rumor like that could do her no good. Seo-ah nodded along.

"I'm not blaming you for what happened with that kid, but you should have handled it a different way."

A different way...?

After a moment's thought, Seo-ah spoke as though she'd finally grasped his meaning.

"Ohhh! So I should have lied! How sad that he can't get guiding matched because of me."

"No! You shouldn't have looked in the first place! Was looking not looking an option or not?"

Needless to say, that option had never existed for Seo-ah to begin with.

Why would I pass up an opportunity like that...?

He might have actually been huge.

Seo-ah calmly tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear and looked at Kim Han.

Restraint, Seo-ah. If I tell him the truth, he'll think I'm a total pervert.

"I can't say no."

"What?"

"I'm just bad at turning people down, so there was nothing I could do."

It was a completely absurd excuse, but Kim Han accepted it. She was a lifelong virgin with zero dating experience, after all — surely she genuinely hadn't meant to look.

The truth was, Kim Han was a reasonably sensible man, and his first impression of Seo-ah — someone who'd been desperate to guide from day one — had stuck. He believed she was a diligent girl, unusually pure-hearted. Unaware of how massively wrong that impression was, he counted Seo-ah among the few genuinely sane people in the center. Which was exactly why Esper Lee Sang-hyun's behavior made no sense within his worldview.

Then again, I suppose even Seo-ah never imagined Sang-hyun would actually whip it out.

He spoke to her in a gently admonishing tone.

"But if something like this happens again, you have to refuse. Some espers are genuinely insane — no, strange. If it happens, make an excuse using my name, get out of there, and then come tell me."

"...I will."

Absolutely not. What if I miss out on someone who's actually huge and great because I stopped to report to you?

"If those lunatics get some weird idea in their heads, who knows what they'd try."

So does that mean forced sex begins then?

Her heart fluttered. It would go something like, "No! S-stop!" followed by "N-no! Don't stop don't stop don't stop!"

Mmm, hands tied... and honestly, being guided by several of them at once doesn't sound bad either.

Seo-ah had her share of peculiar tastes that set her apart from ordinary people.

"Guide Lee Seo-ah?"

"Oh, sorry. I was thinking about something else for a second."

"...Good grief. You're so spacey, it's a miracle you're S-class. If you'd been a lower rank, you'd already be matched with some random esper and shipped off to a gate."

What a waste. If I'd been A or B-class with an ordinary wavelength, my life would already be overflowing with dopamine.

Wistful, Seo-ah fidgeted with her hands under the desk.

Watching her, Kim Han scratched his chin lightly.

She must be scared of entering gates after all. Or maybe she's still worried she's just burning through taxpayer money. Kim Han was, as ever, completely misreading her.

"Well, there's some good news too."

Seeing her so deflated, Kim Han changed the subject.

"A lot of new awakenings have happened recently. One of them might match your wavelength."

"Really?"

"There've been re-awakenings too, so we're planning to rerun the matching process internally."

Re-awakening was a rare phenomenon, but thanks to the strange surge in gate activity lately, quite a few re-awakened individuals had appeared. The research department was analyzing the cause.

Seo-ah's face brightened noticeably. Is it finally happening? Am I finally going to clear away this tedious existence and start a glorious sex life?

They say guiding is blissful. Even though it's sexual contact, apparently it's different from ordinary sex — you share wavelengths with each other, and every sensation in your body gets cranked up to its absolute limit.

Listening to her own heart pound, she said shyly,

"I really hope someone matching me turns up. I can't keep living like this."

"To be honest, I wasn't sure whether to mention it since nothing's confirmed, but they said a potential wavelength match came up this morning."

She was delighted. She'd been hoping for results sooner rather than later anyway.

"He'll be high-rank too, so there's nothing to worry about. At this level, on both sides, you probably won't even need insertion guiding."

I'm sorry, what?

Her joy lasted exactly one second before her world came crashing down.

"...Why not?"

No, that won't do. That absolutely won't do.

I've been holding out this long on the promise of guiding, and you're telling me—?

I was counting on this, that, and the other kind of mind-blowing sex?!

Seo-ah's expression was dead serious. Kim Han answered offhandedly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Because you're S-class."

"...So being S-class means I don't need insertion guiding? Why?"

Her question carried a hint of desperation.

"Did you not know why everyone envies high-ranks? Guiding works with even the smallest contact — that's why they're all jealous."

Unbelievable.

S-class is garbage.

Shiny golden apricot — pretty on the outside, hollow within. With a partner or without one, it's all the same rotten deal.

Watching Seo-ah's genuine disappointment, Kim Han frowned.

I honestly can't tell what goes on in this girl's head. I can't even guess what she's so disappointed about.

Life around Seo-ah at the Management Bureau had gone quiet.

She'd hoped for another spectacle like the one with Lee Sang-hyun, but the number of people approaching her had dropped off dramatically. After the recent incident, everyone's confidence had taken a beating.

There existed an anonymous chatroom where certified espers and guides could share information — several of them, in fact. And thanks to recent events, the one frequented by high-rank espers had grown especially rowdy.

In truth, the B-class esper at the center of the whole affair had been fairly well endowed. But Seo-ah had dismissed even that as small.

The espers friendly with that B-classer could all too easily imagine how small their own equipment would look by comparison, which was why none of them dared approach her.

Completely oblivious to this, Seo-ah was still sulking, convinced that Team Leader Kim Han must have issued some kind of directive.

"What's the point of matching results even if they come out?"

If her enthusiasm as a guide were displayed on a device, it would currently read a measly ten percent. Her present life was miles away from everything she'd imagined guiding would be.

Boring paperwork at a desk job. No one approaching her, no one even to talk to.

Is everyone keeping their distance just because I'm S-class?

If something interesting would just happen, at least coming to work would have some point to it. Every single day felt like a loss. A homebody she might be — lonely she was not — but an otherwise identical day only deepened her boredom.

Seo-ah sat leaning back in her chair, staring blankly at the ceiling. Then, through the room's glass window, a familiar hair color flashed past.

"Huh?"

Her mind snapped awake. The head that had just gone by was far too familiar. But there was no way that guy could be here, so Seo-ah shook her head.

Nah, I must've seen wrong.

It's not like bleached hair is rare these days.

But could anyone really have blond that perfect — no visible roots, no touch-up needed?

No, she must've dyed it recently. Or maybe she's actually mixed, or a foreigner?

For some reason, an uneasy feeling crept over her. After glaring at the window on the opposite side for a good long while, Seo-ah quietly rose from her seat and crept over.

She pried the blinds apart with her fingers and peered outside — but the blond man was already gone.