I Want to See Her Again
“What exactly did you do last night?”
The question came from Jed. The brown-haired man stared down at one particular spot with a look of pure disbelief. There, lying on the bed, was Ferda.
“Nothing happened.”
“Nothing, my ass. Does a man who’s done ‘nothing’ end up flat on his back, unable to move a muscle?”
Ferda could only turn his face; from the neck down, every ounce of strength had deserted him. Ferda always made his morning rounds without fail. The fact that he had simply failed to appear was enough for anyone to guess that something had gone wrong. And just as Jed had guessed, Ferda was now lying in bed, completely immobile.
“If I say nothing, then nothing.”
“Sure, whatever you say.”
Since Ferda insisted to the bitter end that nothing had happened, Jed could press no further.
No need to tell him the whole story.
He had been punched by a maid who barred his way, nearly crushed to death by his fiancée, and then poured every last drop of mana into that same fiancée until he nearly died for real. In the ordinary world of nobles, that tale would have been summarized in a single withering verdict: “What an idiot.” So Ferda kept it to himself and savored the memory alone.
What a fierce night it was.
The pain in his arm still lingered, yet he had received a reward equal to it.
The dragon’s face.
The word usually meant the countenance of a king, but this time it had been the face of a true dragon. Just as a tenant farmer counted a single glimpse of the royal visage as the greatest honor of his life, Ferda counted that glimpse of her face as the greatest honor of his.
That was the last thing I remember.
He summoned Baldrova’s face from that final memory. With that image the last thing in his mind, his consciousness had cut out; when he came to, the ceiling above the bed filled his vision. And Jed’s face as well. The man was still hovering nearby.
“One favor.”
“What is it? Just say the word.”
“Get your face out of my line of sight. You’re spoiling the afterglow.”
“……”
He had no desire to overlay the lingering sweetness of the night with the visage of a good-looking man. Jed obediently removed his face—wearing an expression that clearly said Is this bastard insane?
“How is Burnel’s research coming along?”
“That? He says he doesn’t have to keep cutting tendons and slicing flesh anymore. Nasty work. He’s doing well, though.”
Jed had waited on Burnel hand and foot so that nothing would hinder the research. He had done enough to feel proud of his contribution.
“You’re certain?”
“Pretty certain.”
“You do realize ‘pretty’ and ‘certain’ can’t occupy the same sentence, yes?”
“I didn’t even let that Burnel fellow sleep properly. Three days without sleep and most men go mad and give up. But he’s a stubborn one. He wanted to sleep, yet he kept insisting the research was too important to half-ass, sobbing and clinging to it the whole time. So yeah—certain.”
“I see.”
Jed had clearly suffered under the work, but Ferda paid it little mind. All labor was suffering by nature. He preferred to focus on the joy of having taken a great stride forward in magic engineering.
“So how long are you stuck in bed? Can’t you work today?”
“A fair question. A day or so and I should recover on my own.”
“Hmm… Do I need to wait on you?”
The reluctance in his voice was unmistakable.
“No. I’d rather be alone. I have things to think about.”
“I’ve been waiting for those words. Great. I’m taking a break, so don’t come looking for me for at least two days.”
“Very well.”
Jed clicked his tongue and withdrew. Ferda closed his eyes where he lay—not to sleep, but to make the memory even sharper.
A great harvest.
He sank into recollection.
Truly a great harvest.
A picture centered on small, glossy lips. A pair of black horns and crimson hair. Set in those large eyes were golden cat’s-eye pupils, moist and gleaming. That was the Red Dragon Baldrova’s polymorphed form.
There were quite a few surprises.
The first time Ferda had seen her she had arrived in full armor, and she had stood well over two meters tall. Yet the woman herself was only a head taller than him—an ordinary height for a lady.
And… her face wasn’t terrifying either.
As the embodiment of Power, Baldrova possessed the most fearsome form among all dragons. No one dared look down on her. It was said that when a dragon polymorphed, its human appearance shifted according to its nature. At rest she should have been an iron lady, a single seductive rose—anyone who grasped her carelessly would regret their arrogance once the thorns drew blood.
…But that wasn’t it at all.
Her features were gentle, utterly unsuited to a sovereign. The eyes decide a woman’s impression, and hers turned downward at the corners—a puppy’s eyes. A face that begged for a child’s wide, bright smile rather than an adult’s knowing smirk.
Considering her social anxiety and timid nature, it actually fits.
Everything had been an exception, and everything had been exactly as expected—that was her beauty. Ferda thought of her as he recalled the image.
I want to see her again.
Ever since he had formed the habit of remembering every detail, this was the first time he had felt such an emotion. Even though the picture was stamped clearly in his mind, he still longed to look upon it with his own eyes.
I want to see her again.
In that moment Ferda finally understood how men suffering from lovesickness must feel. He wanted to tear at his hair or leap from the bed and run to her that instant.
“You appear to be entertaining some strange fantasies.”
A young maid’s voice cut in without warning.
“I would prefer you stop at once.”
He opened his eyes to find a girl with silver irises looking down at him. Her manner and expression remained as businesslike as ever.
“How is your body?”
Ruri asked.
“It seems better.”
“Of course it is. I treated you myself, after all—no one else.”
“Impressive work. It can’t have been easy.”
“It was harder than healing my master’s wounds, but still manageable.”
Ruri frowned as she looked down at him. Something about the way she regarded Ferda felt different from usual.
“You could have died.”
Her tone was worried.
“Overloading while your mana circuits were already spinning… An ordinary human would have stopped long before from the burning agony.”
“It was nothing special to me.”
“I know. You’re the sort who enjoys that sort of thing.”
She muttered something unintelligible under her breath, then continued.
“Thank you.”
The gratitude came out of nowhere.
“For what?”
“It was the first time my master’s screams stopped.”
Her face remained expressionless.
“And the first time I saw her fall into a peaceful sleep. That night, Lord Ferda, you gave my master so much.”
Yet sorrow lingered in her eyes.
“And… I’m sorry.”
Her gaze slid downward to Ferda’s right arm.
“Because you blew my arm off?”
“……”
She bit her lip and nodded. A dragon spawn admitting her crime and apologizing to a human.
“It’s fine. I hold no grudge over something so minor, nor do I hate you for it.”
“……Even after a blow that hard, you’re all right?”
“I’ve always had a weak body. It happens often enough—don’t worry about it. I’ll be able to move again soon enough.”
“Can you move now?”
“I will when the time comes.”
For the moment, only his face could stir.
“Haven’t I always told you? I hold your loyalty in the highest regard. Like a—”
“Like a dog, you mean?”
“Yes.”
Ruri nodded at that.
“That’s right. I’m a bitch of a dog.”
“I didn’t go quite that far.”
Only then did Ferda realize how much the words had sounded like an insult.
“In any case, you have always done your utmost in whatever you could. You never overreached and ruined things by forcing what you could not do. That is more than enough.”
“……”
“I am grateful that you cared for her until I could meet her.”
“If you put it that way… thank you.”
Ruri’s expression brightened a little. The heavy atmosphere lightened as well.
“So how is my fiancée’s condition?”
“I was about to speak of that…”
Her face grew heavy again.
“For the time being, do not even think of meeting her.”
Ferda’s own expression turned grave.
“After all that talk about how much I helped her?”
“That is that, and this is this.”
She had returned to the stern little maid. Ferda asked for the reason.
“And why is that?”
“The act you performed when you met her is the problem.”
“The act? You mean simply holding her hand?”
Merely taking her hand was hardly grand enough to be called an “act.”
“I mean the transfer of mana.”
“Is that something that could cause problems for your master?”
“To be precise, both of you are the problem.”
Her eyes fixed steadily on Ferda. Sensing the seriousness, he pressed further.
“Has something happened to Her Grace?”
“Ever since she made contact with you, Lord Ferda, she has begun making the sounds of a female.”
Question marks bloomed thickly in his mind.
“The sounds of a female?”
“The sound farthest removed from that of a king. The sound she hates second only to screams.”
Ferda could not quite grasp what that sound might be. He did not try very hard to find out, either.
“And what is my problem?”
“Lord Ferda, you wrung out so much mana to save my master that you came within a hair’s breadth of losing your life.”
“As long as I didn’t die, it’s fine.”
“Results like that do not count. If you wish to stand proudly as her fiancé, reach at least the fourth circle before you speak of it again.”
The fourth circle—the stage commonly called the true beginning of a mage. Ferda wondered why she had drawn the line so sharply. He quietly recalled the amount of mana he had poured out and made a rough calculation.
The volume was exactly about fourth-circle level.
Without the Red Circle it would have been impossible. Without the Red Circle spinning at full speed, the recovery rate would have been impossible as well. Had any single beat fallen out of time, Ferda would have ended as either a corpse or a ruined man.
Yet it was also possible only because it was me.
Only a mage who had once reached the ninth circle could have endured that savage current and forced the mana out.
But because I wrung myself dry like that, I won’t be able to turn the Red Circle properly for a while.
By his estimate it would take roughly a month to return to his former condition.
“If you are to become her consort, you must start taking better care of yourself from now on. Do not take needless risks.”
Ruri’s hands smoothed the wrinkles of the blanket and tucked it snugly up to his neck—a service she had never once offered before.
“And for today, rest without a single thought. If you need anything, call me and I will come. Understood?”
“Yes, I understand.”
Ferda nodded obediently.
“And congratulations.”
“On what?”
“You have reached the third circle, have you not?”
“?”
Ferda had no idea what she meant—until he focused on his dantian.
…What?
Just as she had said, three circles were now revolving inside his body. He had reached the third circle.
The next day, once Ferda confirmed that his body would move, he returned to his office and spoke with Burnel.
“I hear you’ve made great progress in your research. Congratulations.”
“Ah, no—it’s barely even begun…”
“A month and a half, was it? Truly revolutionary speed.”
“Y-yes, so it seems.”
Burnel answered in a trembling voice. The pace truly had been revolutionary. The last month and a half had mattered more than the previous seven years of his research.
Better equipment, better environment, better specimens, of course…
But above all, the crushing pressure that had been applied to him had been the greatest factor.
Am I the type who grows stronger when driven to the brink?
He had felt so cornered he thought he would go mad. Yet it had not been entirely bad; he had spotted blind spots he had never noticed before and patched the gaps. Through work that required him to be half out of his mind, his hypotheses had hardened enough to become experiments.
“From now on living specimens are no longer necessary, but… instead I will need a great many monster corpses…”
“Monster corpses?”
It was like looking for sand in a desert or timber in a forest. The far east was crawling with monsters.
“Her Grace the Grand Duchess of Baldrova is active on the front lines. Could we simply collect what comes from there?”
“I heard she is taking down things the size of houses. For me to research those… there are many problems. They are simply too large…”
“Then why not make yourself larger? A gigantification spell should work—Echidna could cast it, I believe…”
“Ah, size isn’t the main issue. The biggest problem is that if such corpses remain in the east for long, erosion could turn the land into black earth like the Far East. I don’t want to go that far. Besides, creatures that large may have different structures.”
“Different structures?”
“Yes. Since they grow by devouring junk mana, there is a hardness that forms in the process. If they become too dense, too tightly compressed, they crystallize—and then they are useless for research.”
Sensing a lengthy technical lecture approaching, Ferda grasped only the gist and kept the conversation short.
“I think I understand the idea. So to proceed step by step we need the small ones first?”
“Yes. What I am studying now centers on specimens the size of the one the Regent caught for me, or smaller. Those are more widely known and easier to obtain if we search…”
“So roughly how many hundred monsters do you need?”
“Well…”
Burnel glanced about nervously.
“At the very least… over a thousand, I would say…?”
Ferda considered the words.
A real money pit if there ever was one.
Even ordinary nobles—let alone the wealthy high nobility—would have recoiled at such a demand. Had Ferda not known who this man was, he might have kicked him straight out the castle gates. But he knew Burnel would ultimately succeed.
“Very well. I’ll speak to the lords.”
“W-wait—can we really gather that many?”
“Monsters are caught by the dozens every day at the least. You no longer need living ones?”
“I-it would be nice to have them, but they require management…”
“Don’t worry. Jed seems to handle the management well enough; I’ll assign him to you.”
“No! I don’t need him! It’s not like the early stage where progress is obvious! Yes! I don’t need him! So please don’t tell him, hahaha! I beg you! Spare me!”
Burnel pleaded frantically to have the order withdrawn.
“If you insist.”
“S-so how do you plan to obtain the corpses? Do we have to go hunting again?”
“Hmm…”
Capturing a single live specimen had been something Ferda could manage; he could not go out hunting every time.
“The most straightforward method would be to post a bounty, but…”
Even now, facilities and equipment were draining the coffers; he hesitated to add even a little more.
“For the initial stock, it would be better to make them offer tribute.”
“Tribute…?”
To Burnel, who wore a blank expression, Ferda replied:
“The world is full of fools, you know.”
And Ferda already knew exactly how to lure those fools.