I'm a Vicious Princess Who Succeeded in Getting a Fake Job — Episode 3
At that very moment, in the northern Millidren Mountains.
KRA-KOOM—!
A massive blade met the scythe-like foreleg of a monster head-on, and the impact split the air with a deafening roar.
“KIIIIIEEEK!”
A grotesque insect-type monster, easily three meters tall, let out an agonized shriek as it toppled backward. The severed foreleg spun uselessly through the air before slamming down into the snow, and dark blood sprayed across the pristine white field.
“Do you want to die?!”
Varkan, who had lopped off the monster's foreleg without so much as a flicker of effort and landed lightly on the ground, roared at the knight who had nearly been crushed by the creature's attack moments before.
“Can't you keep your head straight? Who taught you to turn your back on a monster!”
At that single frost-edged word, colder than any curse, the knight who had been sprawled in the snow replied with a face drained of all color.
“F-forgive me, Your Highness!”
“It's coming again. Get up and draw your sword—now!”
“Y-yes, sir!”
Varkan charged first, meeting the monster as it lunged back at them.
There was not a wasted motion in the arc of his blade. Every thrust, every cut was so effortless, so impossibly smooth, that it was almost chilling to watch. Even facing a monster bristling with unpredictable variables, he wore the expression of someone solving a problem whose answer he already knew—annoyed, and bored by the triviality of it.
Before long, the monster's breath finally ceased, and a brief silence settled over the mountains.
Granted a moment's respite, the knights claimed a clearing in the woods to rest.
“His Highness has been so frightening lately, Commander...”
The young knight Rudy said this with a sulky, crumpled face as he looked at Deiros, commander of the order. Deiros let out a short sigh and patted Rudy on the shoulder.
“Try to understand. The princess of an enemy nation has him wound tighter than a spring.”
At that, Rudy sniffled and asked, “So it's really true, then? That mad princess is going to become our Grand Duchess? A princess from Delmar—the ones who've killed our comrades over and over?”
“...”
Deiros couldn't answer right away. Instead, he slowly turned his gaze toward Varkan.
Varkan was cleaning his blade beside a snow-covered rock, his back to the corpse of the fallen monster.
“...Who's to say. I can't read His Highness's heart either.”
It was a bitter answer.
In truth, the wounds of war had not yet healed in the north. There were those who had lost family, those who had lost comrades-in-arms, those who had left an arm or a leg behind in Delmar. And now, into a north still seething with that grief and fury, they were sending a princess of Delmar.
Had they decided to show her pity simply because she was said to be out of her mind? The kingdom of Delmar that had sent the princess was shameless enough—and so was the Emperor, who had tossed her into the Grand Duke's hands as if she were a bride-price.
If even Deiros felt this way, one could only imagine how the Grand Duke felt, the man who had a family and a territory to lead.
Deiros swallowed a sigh and walked over to Varkan.
“Your Highness.”
The hand wiping the blade paused for a moment.
“The fighting is more or less wrapped up. Why not call it here and return to the Grand Ducal residence?”
But Varkan, without so much as a glance in his direction, finished wiping the blood from his blade and spoke.
“Why.”
Deiros continued carefully, a helpless look on his face.
“Well, it's... today is the day the princess of Delmar arrives, you see—”
“Which is why, why?”
Shink—. Varkan slid the sword into its sheath and rose to his feet. Then he turned back toward the dark forest.
“What does that woman's arrival have to do with me?”
“Your Highness!”
Deiros hurried after him, but Varkan was already searching for the next monster to vent his frustration on.
“It grieves me deeply that the Grand Duke I cherish remains unwed. The Emperor's decree, then: 'The princess of Delmar is hereby granted to the Grand Duke. Take her as a wife, work her as a maid, or have her scrub the stable floor—the choice is his to make.'”
It was the Emperor's message, and it was nothing but a brazen mockery.
Varkan's grip tightened around the hilt. A sneer like frost crept into his black eyes.
“If that is His Majesty's command, then as the loyal hound of the north, I shall gladly obey.”
At that compliant answer, Deiros's face brightened.
“Yes? Th-then shall you return to the residence at once and receive Her Highness the Princess—”
Varkan cut him off with a careless voice as he charged toward the monster.
“Hand the princess a mop.”
“...Pardon?”
A week had passed.
My, oh my, how time does fly.
I rolled back and forth on the luxurious bed beneath its billowing canopy. The mattress was so plush that my body sank clean into it, and even the sheets were perfumed with sunlight and the scent of some nameless flower.
Compared to the ramshackle house I'd lived in back in Bilote Village in the south, this place was beyond generous—it was enough to bring tears to my eyes.
But that wonder had lasted all of a day or two.
“Haaah.”
I stretched out long and slow, staring up at the ceiling.
It had already been a week since I entered the Grand Ducal residence. And yet the man who was supposedly the master of this house hadn't shown so much as the tip of his nose.
At this point, is he out there personally breeding new monsters just so he can keep slaughtering them?!
The princess from the original story seemed all the more remarkable for it.
How did she even manage to marry the Grand Duke in the original?
Really, a person should at least be able to see their target before getting around to seducing him, shouldn't they?
Everything I'd done all week consisted of eating, sleeping, bathing, staring at the ceiling, and eating again. For the first two days, resting had actually felt heavenly, given the near-death state my body had been in. But from the third day on, I'd started getting antsy.
This was a body that had climbed mountains every single day, scaled cliffs without fail, all to dig up herbs. Asking it to sit as still as a statue in the corridors of the Grand Ducal residence was pure torture.
At this rate, I won't die from the Helbine in my gut—I'll pass away from boredom first.
I sighed and laid a hand over my stomach. My palm met the smooth fabric of my dress first—but remembering what sinister thing lay beneath it made my mood sink in an instant.
I sat up in bed and pulled open the first drawer of the nightstand.
Creeeak—. A small glass bottle revealed itself inside the drawer. Where yesterday's empty bottle—drained by me—had been, a new one filled with a gently sloshing calming draught sat quietly in its place.
The suppressant that kept the Helbine in check.
Who on earth keeps putting these here? And when?
Every morning when I opened my eyes, it had been swapped for a fresh one, like something out of a ghost story.
The medicine that keeps me alive.
And at the same time, a silent threat: we are watching you.
It was proof that the guild people who had forced the Helbine on me had taken deep root inside the Grand Ducal residence itself.
Isn't it because the so-called lord of this place spends every waking day hunting monsters that vermin like them get to run wild?
Hmph. Creeeak, click!
I shut the drawer and sat back down on the edge of the bed.
I need to get rid of this thing, fast...
I had intended to at least look for a book on the Helbine after moving into the residence. But the Grand Duke, the only person who could grant access to the library, never appeared. I'd even hinted to Hendrick that I'd like to browse the bookshelves sometime, only to be met with an ironclad refusal: 'I cannot permit that without His Highness's approval.'
Just then, the door to my chamber flew open.
“Your Highness! I'm here!”
A bright, young voice came tumbling into the room like a rolling ball, and I burst out laughing before I could help myself.
It was Celine, the ten-year-old maid assigned as my personal attendant the very day I entered the residence a week ago.
With her light-brown hair tied neatly and a white apron wrapped around her, she was every inch the picture of a maid. Except—she was so small, hands and feet and all, that instead of feeling like the one being served, I felt like I should be the one taking care of her.
Chattering “Your Highness, Your Highness” at every turn and trotting along at my heels, she reminded me so much of my little sister in my past life that I'd grown oddly fond of her.
“There you are, Celine.”
“Yes, Your Highness! The weather's warmed up a little today! It's still too soon to go out into the garden, but the corridor facing it gets lovely long stretches of sunlight!”
Celine grasped my hand with her big, sparkling eyes.
“Let's go, you and me! Staying cooped up in your room all the time can't be good for you!”
How was it possible for anyone to be this relentlessly diligent? She could have half-assed her duties to a mad princess and no one would have blinked—but this child was genuinely, sincerely looking after me.
Then, as I gazed into Celine's round eyes, a thought crept into my head.
...Could it be—is this girl connected to those guild thugs too?
Why else would she be so devotedly attentive to a raving princess like me...?
Oh, come off it, no!
I shook my head.
What on earth am I doing, suspecting a ten-year-old child?
Feeling guilty for having doubted her even for a moment, I smiled brightly at Celine, took her hand, and rose from the bed.
“Alright, let's go take a look.”
Celine's face lit up instantly at my answer.
I left the room and walked the corridor with her. The vista of dark wood molding and old paintings stretching down the hall wasn't gaudy, but it had a stately, weighty charm. And thanks to the carpet laid across the floor, our footsteps made hardly a sound, lending the walk an even deeper hush.
That was when Celine, still holding my hand, asked cautiously.
“U-um, Your Highness?”
“Yes?”
“Doesn't it feel tight?”
Her gaze had drifted to my gloved hand.
In truth, I had been wearing gloves since well before entering the Grand Ducal residence—a precaution against any chance of drawing blood. Without them, I couldn't have held Celine's hand at all, let alone patted her head.
And it wasn't just the gloves. Ever since the blood in my veins had turned toxic, I had protected myself with clothing that left no skin exposed. It was no different here in the residence.
Then again, thank goodness the duchy is in the north.
With it being a brutal winter of howling blizzards all year round, no one found it strange to see me in thick, long garments.
I gave a small smile and said, “I hope you live a long, long time, Celine.”
“...Pardon?”
Celine blinked her round eyes, clearly not following—but then she seemed to take it as just another blessing from the mad princess and resumed her cheerful chatter.
“Your Highness, that building over there is the west annex. And the spire behind it is still under repair, so you mustn't go near it. Oh, and—”
Celine's little mouth worked busily, explanations tumbling out one after another.
Adorable. Just adorable.
When she burst into a peal of giggles mid-explanation, little dimples bloomed deep in her cheeks.
“Oh, and Your Highness, this way is—”
It was the exact moment Celine was about to continue.
“How can you say such a thing?!”
“...”
“...”
Celine and I froze in place. The voice had come from the end of the corridor, through a door left slightly ajar. Presumably, maids in the middle of their cleaning, chatting amongst themselves.
“So what? Are you planning to defy the Grand Duke's orders?”
“No, that's not what I mean. I'm just saying—how am I supposed to tell Her Highness that the Grand Duke ordered her to do maid's work? She's still the princess, after all.”
Celine flinched at the words drifting through the door.
“Hah, princess of what, exactly?”
A sneering voice followed.
“She was thrown away even by her own kingdom, and the Grand Duke can't stand the sight of her—that's why he won't even set foot in the residence while she's here.”
“Ugh, whatever. Either way, I'm not doing it.”
I blinked slowly.
Wait... what?
They're telling me to do maid's work?
The corners of my mouth twitched, and my fists clenched all on their own.
Hot diggity, a gift! My whole body had been crawling with restless energy, and now—
Didn't this just hand me a perfectly legal license to roam every corner of the Grand Ducal residence?!
When my fist clenched tight, Celine, mistaking it for fury, grabbed my arm in a panic.
“Y-Your Highness! Let's go back to your chamber first and—”
Before Celine's frantic whisper could even end, I strode over in big, deliberate steps and flung open the door to the maids' room.
“YOU THERE!”
At my voice booming down the hall, both maids' shoulders shot up in a violent jolt.
“H-hiiiek!”
“H-His— Her Highness?!”
The moment they laid eyes on me, the two maids went white as corpses and flattened themselves against the floor.
“F-forgive us, Your Highness! W-we were only delivering His Highness's orders, we never meant any insult to you, I swear—!”
“I'LL DO IT!”
I cut off the trembling maid's babbling and chirped, bright as a spring morning.
The maids, foreheads still pressed to the floor, lifted their heads and stared at me in utter bewilderment.
“...Pardon?”
“Excuse me?”
I jabbed a finger emphatically at my own chest and shouted with the full force of my enthusiasm.
“I'm REALLY good at chores!”
Give me the work, yes? Let me be a maid, pretty please!!