Wipe That Window Like You're Grabbing the Grand Duke by the Collar

Back at the Grand Duke's residence, I changed back into my maid's uniform and pressed myself against the outer wall once more.

I'd scrubbed the western wall's windows in the morning; now it was the eastern wall's turn.

Perhaps because I'd taken a tour of the duchy, moving my body came even more smoothly than it had that morning — like someone had oiled my joints.

"Heehee, Your Highness! I found a four-leaf clover over here!"

"……."

"I've already found five of them! I'll make them into bookmarks for you, Your Highness!"

"……."

I paused mid-wipe and glanced down through the glass.

Celine was crouched in the flower bed right beside the ladder, hunting through the weeds for four-leaf clovers. After her failed attempts to wrestle the rag away from me, she seemed to have given up on that front — halfway, at least.

Tsk tsk. I clicked my tongue inwardly and shook my head.

Poor Celine. However did she end up working as a maid to a commoner herbalist pretending to be a mad princess, suffering every hardship there is to suffer…….

But I couldn't stop doing this.

I need to survive too, you know.

For now, with the Grand Duke away, those guild thugs couldn't touch me. But if I let my mad-princess act slack even a little in a situation like this, that disgusting wad of plant matter in my belly might just start tearing through my insides.

Ugh — anything but that.

The memory of that pain alone made my brow crumple.

Although…….

I probably won't even dream of setting foot outside the Grand Duke's residence for a while, will I……?

Scrub, scrub, scrub —. My rag picked up speed against the glass.

Actually, why can't we all just close our eyes and keep it a secret? Hmm? We all benefit here. These rigid northerners wouldn't know flexibility if it bit them…….

The fact that I'd ditched my knights in the middle of the bustling commercial district had made its way to Head Butler Hendrik's ears. The knights assigned as my guard had scurried off to report the moment I vanished.

Granted, I was the one who'd shaken them off and disappeared first.

But still.

Did I suggest keeping it secret just for my own good, hm? We mutually agreed it was for the best. For the best, I say…….

Thanks to that, I'd had to endure Hendrik's chilly stare for a good while. Once word spread, I suspected my reputation among the Grand Duke's household staff had been upgraded from merely mad princess to mad princess liable to bolt at any moment.

Fine. For the time being, I'll play nice and just hug my wall.

Oh, right. What am I going to do about the herbs I bought?

I'd managed to purchase the Crobein and the other ingredients for a hemostatic salve, but actually brewing it while dodging the eyes of the staff and my watchers was another matter entirely.

I don't even have any equipment.

Technically, the rear courtyard of the Grand Duke's residence held several multi-purpose buildings — a forge, medical facilities, and the like. There was even a building for preparing medicine where the physicians resided.

If I could just use that place, making a salve would be a piece of cake.

But needless to say, no one was about to open up one of the residence's key facilities to a mad princess from an enemy nation.

What could possibly look more suspicious than a foreign princess spreading out herbs and poison plants and brewing concoctions?

I might even give someone the terrible misunderstanding that the princess wasn't insane. And more importantly, those guild bastards would clearly refuse to give me the suppressant to keep that wretch in my belly quiet, claiming I was goofing off instead of seducing the Grand Duke.

Ugh!

So?! When exactly is the Grand Duke planning to show up? Why? Is he just going to burrow into some northern mountain forever?! Did he abandon the residence? Hm? Is that it? Is that what this is?!

Aaaargh!!!

Screaming silently in fury, I gripped the rag as though it were the Grand Duke's throat, and scrubbed the window until it begged for mercy.

Squeeeeeeak—!

"Wow! That's seven four-leaf clovers!"

Celine's bright voice floated up from below.

***

"Is this really all right? Even with the Grand Duke's orders……."

Head Maid Rayna ventured carefully.

Her gaze, and Head Butler Hendrik's, were fixed on the eastern outer wall of the residence. Through the glass panes glittering faintly white in the winter afternoon light, they could see a woman perched atop a ladder, wielding her rag.

She'd been out on the wall with a rag since morning, and around noon she'd wandered off to see the duchy and caused a whole commotion — yet the moment she returned, she'd changed back into her maid's uniform as if nothing had happened and resumed cleaning.

Squeak, squeak, ……scrub-scrub-scrub-scrub!

For some reason, the sound of her rag against the glass seemed to be growing steadily more violent. Or was that just his imagination?

Hendrik watched the scene in silence, hands clasped behind his back. His russet eyes were as cold and impassive as ever, but today, beneath that composure, lay a peculiar weariness.

"She volunteered to do it herself."

Hendrik's voice was as dry as usual.

In truth, a princess who had spent the entire morning racing between the residence and the commercial district ought, by now, to have collapsed from exhaustion. Instead, she seemed positively bursting with energy.

It almost looks like she's enjoying the cleaning.

He had caught glimpses of her studying something, deep in thought, before she began — but once she settled into position, she cleaned with a face that was nothing short of gleeful.

Despite Hendrik's measured reply, Rayna's expression remained troubled.

"All the same, her mind is, well, ……not entirely sound, is it. ……If she hurts herself like this—"

"What can powerless employees like us do about work the Grand Duke commands and Her Highness insists on doing herself?"

Hendrik cut in.

He had enough of a headache already over the uproar in the commercial district. The knights had failed to properly watch and guard a hostage princess, and he would have to discipline them severely.

Then the princess herself, upon hearing the news, had stormed into his office.

"I was the one swept away by the crowd! There's nothing human effort can do about that. Yes — a natural disaster! That's what it was!"

"Your Highness, that cannot serve as an excuse—"

"If my knights must ultimately be punished for it, then I will take exactly the same punishment they do."

"……Pardon?"

"Look into my eyes. I am, ……very serious right now."

"……."

In the end, faced with a princess who seemed ready to hold a blade to her own neck, Hendrik had agreed to postpone the knights' punishment until the Grand Duke's return. Privately, he pitied them. Guarding even a sane person was no small task — and he considered it his own failure of judgment for allowing a princess who was both unhinged and headstrong into the commercial district in the first place.

Hendrik let out a quiet sigh.

"She shook off an entire squad of knights in the district. Do you truly think she's in any danger?"

"That is……"

At that moment —

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

A voice colder and heavier than the biting north wind flew at their backs.

Hendrik and Rayna spun around in alarm — and there was the Grand Duke, striding toward them in his billowing cobalt cloak. When had he returned?

"Y-Your Grace!"

"Your Grace, you've arrived early."

Hendrik bowed calmly to greet Varkan.

He had only just heard the news that Varkan had descended from the northern mountains himself. He'd planned to check on the princess and receive the Grand Duke properly before his arrival — but Varkan had reached the residence faster than expected.

Varkan approached in long, hard strides, his brow deeply furrowed.

"Hendrik. Shook off his knights? What was that just now, I ask—"

Mid-question, Varkan's gaze drifted — to something hanging perilously against the eastern outer wall.

His footsteps stopped dead.

"What is that."

"……."

"……."

It was unmistakably the residence's maid uniform, but the figure was an employee he had never seen before. The window-washing technique looked almost grimly skilled, and she seemed to be, for some inexplicable reason, having far too much fun in spite of the cold — she drew the eye before he could look away.

At Varkan's question, Rayna squeezed her eyes shut first; Hendrik couldn't bring himself to speak right away either.

After a moment, Hendrik bowed his head and answered carefully.

"It is Her Highness the Princess."

Varkan's eyebrows twitched.

"……What?"

When Varkan looked back at him as though he'd misheard, Hendrik opened his mouth again, his expression more composed — and resigned.

"The Princess from Delmar. That Her Highness."

"……."

At those words, Varkan's head snapped toward the princess dangling from the outer wall.

"That's her?"

"Yes."

"Why is the princess wearing a maid's uniform……."

Varkan asked, dumbfounded, and Hendrik replied with, if anything, an air of mild puzzlement.

"Did you not order her to do maid's work, Your Grace?"

"I did?"

"Yes."

"When did I ever—"

He had been about to demand when exactly he'd said any such thing when Varkan faltered.

"Give the princess a rag."

Ah…….

Varkan sighed shortly and pressed a hand to his forehead.

"Get her down."

"Pardon?"

When Hendrik blinked, Varkan jutted his chin and issued the order in a voice like frost.

"I said get that mad wo— ……get the Princess down. Now."

"Yes, Your Grace!"