I Won't Run Anymore
“……Put me down, please.”
The moment they reached the lodging, Minju blurted the words out in a rush. Kwon Seokjun carefully lowered her to the floor. Her legs nearly buckled beneath her, but she stiffened her toes just in time to keep herself upright.
Then the Love Coach approached and spoke.
“Minju, safety checks come first, so we're pausing filming for now. Please rest and take it easy.”
With every camera in the room already shut down, the Love Coach quietly closed the door behind her and left. Only the two of them remained in the narrow room, the faint, briny scent of lake water diffusing gently through the air between them.
When Minju's shoulders shuddered, Seokjun quickly found the remote and switched off the air conditioner. Then he opened the window to let the chill out of the room.
“You must be freezing. Go wash up.”
At his words, Minju gave a small nod and slipped into the bathroom. She peeled off her soaked clothes and turned on the shower.
Ssshh.
The instant the hot water struck her body, her frozen muscles began to thaw. But the more her body warmed, the more vividly the moments at the lakeside came flooding back — the sensation of sinking into the water, the suffocating terror, the pair of strong arms hauling her up by the waist through it all, the sound of his ragged breathing as she broke the surface.
Kwon Seokjun saved me…
The sudden rush of reality sent her heart racing all over again. She was grateful, and stunned, and so mortified at having fallen into the water because she couldn't even manage a kayak properly that her face burned just thinking about it. Her carefully made resolution — that she'd make him regret throwing her away — had been reduced to something absurd and misshapen the moment he'd leapt in after her.
I never should have come on this show…
If she hadn't, she would never have had to face him again, never have endured this humiliation — and above all, her heart would never have been shaken like this. Now she had no idea how she was supposed to look Kwon Seokjun, the other contestants, or the staff in the eye. Filming had been halted because of her.
Feeling as though she had ruined what had been such a pleasant day, Minju stood under the hot water and chewed over her regrets again and again.
Once the shivering had somewhat subsided, she draped a robe over herself and walked slowly out of the bathroom. The moment she crossed the threshold, she froze.
There, in the middle of the room, Kwon Seokjun stood facing the faint breeze drifting in through the gap in the window.
“……Why are you still here?”
Startled, Minju clutched the robe more tightly around herself. A droplet of water fell from the ends of her hair and trickled down over the top of her foot. Seokjun lifted only his chin to look at her.
“In case you…… collapsed.”
His tone was flat, but beneath it lingered tension that hadn't yet settled — a thread of fine anxiety. Minju avoided his gaze and drew a small breath.
“……I'm all right now.”
Seokjun didn't seem to believe her right away; he just studied her, eyes fixed and unblinking. Without looking away this time, she added quietly, “Really.”
Only then did he nod slowly. “Okay. Get some rest.” He turned toward the door without pressing further.
The moment his hand reached for the doorknob, an inexplicable tremor seized her, and before she knew it, she had called out to him.
“Um…….”
His hand stopped on the knob. His hair, dried stiff from the lake water, stirred faintly. He turned around slowly, and his gaze landed directly on her. Her throat felt inexplicably tight; she swallowed and opened her mouth slowly.
“……Thank you…… for saving me.”
It was the words she hadn't been able to get out earlier. At them, Seokjun's expression fractured, just barely — the same look in his eyes as when he'd pulled her up from the lakeside.
“If you're scared of the water, why on earth did you get in the kayak?”
Minju answered while looking away. “I didn't want to hold up filming because of me.”
At that, the furrow between his brows deepened. “And so a person who panics the second the water reaches her waist volunteers for it? Are you an idiot?”
“Why am I an idiot?”
Her eyes went wide and her voice trembled slightly.
“You're asking because you don't know? You almost died.”
His voice was quiet, but it had grown colder. “You were wearing a life jacket,” she said.
“People die wearing life jackets all the time. Once panic sets in, you flip over and start swallowing water before you know it. The vest doesn't help.”
Minju found herself speechless. Just as he'd said, she remembered thrashing in the water, so paralyzed by fear that she'd forgotten she even had a life jacket on. Her chest pricked with the sting of truth — but the way he kept pressing her made indignation surge up in its place.
“……Then why are you this angry? It's not like I fell in on purpose.”
When Minju's voice quavered at the end, something in Seokjun's eyes wavered. He drew a short breath and raked a hand roughly through his hair.
“……I'm sorry. Seeing you fall in — it reminded me of before, and I…… I guess my feelings got away from me.”
In that instant, a scene Minju had long buried surfaced in her mind.
Back when they were dating, he had suggested a trip to the sea. Unable to admit she was afraid of the water, she had forced a smile and gone along.
They had been playing in the shallows when the seafloor abruptly dropped away, and at that sudden depth she sank straight down, thrashing in silence, unable even to breathe. Thankfully, he noticed something was wrong at once and dove in, dragging her back to the surface.
“Minju, I'm sorry. This was my fault.”
Holding her soaked body close, he was trembling, his voice drowning in terror. Only after seeing him like that did she finally confess, belatedly, that she had a phobia of water. At which point he had exploded, frightened and furious.
“Why didn't you tell me? If you're scared of the water, you should have said something!”
“It's our first trip together, Seonbae…… I didn't want to ruin the mood…… so I couldn't say anything.”
The moment the words left her mouth, his expression crumpled further — not with anger so much as shock and guilt tangled together.
“Seo Minju, you matter more to me than any of that. I thought I was going to lose you. I thought I was losing my mind.”
With great effort he steadied his ragged breathing, then pulled her into his arms again and held her tight, as if determined never to relive that moment again.
After that day, having learned how deeply she feared the water, he loved swimming and surfing but never once suggested going near the water again.
Remembering all of that, she could understand why he'd been unable to keep his emotions in check today, seeing her fall in all over again. She had just opened her mouth to apologize for snapping at the very person who'd saved her when he beat her to it.
“……I'll go. Get some rest.”
And before she could even answer, he opened the door and walked out.
Thud.
With the sound of the door closing, the air in the room suddenly felt hollowed out and empty. Minju stared blankly at the spot where he'd been standing.
Why would he leave like that, in the middle of a conversation? I hadn't even apologized properly.
Just picturing his face brought hurt feelings and guilt crashing in at once. Her own voice, snapping at him moments ago, echoed vividly in her ears.
Did I come down too hard on him……?
He had saved her, only to be argued with — of course he'd been dumbfounded. Chaotic emotions churned inside her chest.
And that was when it came.
Knock, knock.
“Minju…… do you have a moment?”
A familiar voice came from outside the door. It was the Love Coach. Minju hastily adjusted her robe and opened the door. The moment the Love Coach saw her face, worry creased her expression.
“Are you feeling any better?”
“Yes.”
When Minju nodded slightly, the Love Coach spoke carefully. “There's something I'd like to discuss with you. May I come in for a moment?”
Without a word, Minju nodded and stepped aside. The two of them sat side by side at the edge of the bed.
“You must have been terribly frightened earlier.”
The Love Coach regarded her with concerned eyes. Minju managed a faint smile. “……I'm all right.”
Perhaps something in her expression looked too much like self-blame, because the Love Coach swallowed a sigh before continuing. “If continuing the show feels like too much, you can stop here.”
Minju faltered. “……Are you telling me to withdraw?”
“No — no! That's not what I mean.” The Love Coach waved her hands hastily. “I only wanted to say that you don't have to force yourself. Today's accident happened because we pushed ahead with the schedule…… I'm so sorry about that.”
She was clearly remembering how, when Minju had confessed her fear of the water, the staff had brushed it off — don't worry, you'll be fine. Regret and apology were all that remained on the Love Coach's face.
Minju lowered her head and fell quietly into thought.
Should I quit just like this?
Spending all day with strangers was exhausting enough, and now her first love — the last person she ever wanted to see — had appeared. Filming had been halted on her account, and she dreaded facing the other contestants. It was still early in the show; her leaving now would cause few problems.
It bothered her that Sangho had chosen her in the First Impression Selection, but there were plenty of women with better credentials, prettier faces, and kinder tempers than hers. He would turn his attention to someone else soon enough.
In that moment, a cold, familiar voice whispered from somewhere deep inside her.
Seo Minju. Are you trying to run away again?
Me?
Yes. You.
You know better than anyone how you used work as an excuse and avoided meeting people, just so you wouldn't get hurt.
The cold indictment sliced through her chest like a blade. It was true. She was a coward. Having been abandoned by him once, she had hidden herself away again and again, terrified of being hurt by someone else, terrified of being lonely again.
Only now did she realize it — that she still hadn't escaped the shadow he'd left behind. The uncomfortable truth clawed at her heart. Imagining herself quitting and shutting herself up in her room somehow made it even harder to breathe.
She didn't want to run. If she backed out now, today's version of herself would only shrink further into something pitiful. Above all, his attitude — which still seemed to carry feelings for her — kept needling at her attention.
What were his true feelings, really? Why did he have to leave without a word? I want to know the 'real reason' from back then.
Minju slowly lifted her head.
“……I'll stay. I'll keep filming.”
The Love Coach blinked, her eyes widening a little. “Are you sure you'll be all right?”
“Yes.” Minju's answer was clear and firm.
“Understood. Then don't overdo it — rest well today, and we'll see you back on set tomorrow, fully recovered.” The Love Coach smiled warmly.
The door closed, and the lodging grew quiet again. Minju let out a long, slow breath.
I'm not running anymore.
Her eyes gleamed, steady and unflinching.