Letting Him Down Easy

As Han Geon-joo gulped down his water in big, urgent swallows, Ju-ri leaned back deep into her chair. He'd already put away a fair amount of draft beer at the bar, and now the soju here was going down shot after shot — no wonder the alcohol had hit him fast.

The moment Ju-ri pulled a cigarette from her pocket, his eyes flew to her.

"I'm not planning to smoke in here."

She met his narrowing brows by fishing out her lighter too. His face crumpled further. Eyes lowered, he poured water into his glass.

"Can I ask you something?"

At her lazy drawl, Geon-joo looked up mid-sip.

"That plaid thing — is it a shirt you actually like?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"…What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your taste is *so* cool."

She couldn't exactly say, *wouldn't burning it be the kinder option?* When she flashed a grin, he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Seeing things like that, I'd say you're a man who knows exactly what he likes."

The server set a fresh bottle of soju on the table. Ju-ri cracked it open and filled Geon-joo's glass, then her own.

"Let me pour for you."

"It's fine."

Her casual self-service stiffened his face, but she ignored it and raised her glass. Geon-joo clinked his against hers without being asked.

No slow sipping, no grimacing — she drained it in one go, and he tipped his own shot back to match. He winced immediately and shoveled salmon into his mouth.

The next glass was the same. Even at a pace that had to be brutal for him, instead of asking her to slow down, he kept clinking glasses with her.

The first bottle emptied in no time.

After ordering another from the server, Ju-ri studied Geon-joo, who looked considerably more undone than before. His cheeks beneath his glasses were flushed pink as if he'd been wearing makeup, and his eyes, which blinked now and then, had lost their usual sharp clarity.

"Can you keep drinking?"

She could smell the alcohol on her own breath.

*Wow, he really did drink a lot.*

Geon-joo answered a beat late.

"…Yes."

"And here I thought you were a grown man. Guess not."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're like a kid."

With a snort of laughter, Ju-ri tapped the cigarette pack she'd set out on the table. Geon-joo glanced at the single cigarette jutting out of it, then looked back at her.

The looseness that the drink had given his voice hardened again.

"That's a first."

"So you only act like a child around me, then?"

"…I have never…"

"Downing drinks without even knowing your own limit? That's what little kids do."

His mouth opened as if to protest, then stopped. Smiling, Ju-ri tipped out the last of the soju and filled her glass to the brim.

"You don't like people who smoke and drink, do you?"

"……."

"You don't like people who spend money beyond their means."

"……."

"You don't like people who date around casually."

"……."

"And you don't like people who fuss too much over how they look."

She was reciting the 'Han Geon-joo' she knew. It wasn't hard to figure out this much without even trying — he'd always glared at her with pinched brows before turning his head away.

"Am I right?"

Geon-joo stared at her lazy smile for a long moment, then nodded.

"I don't like them."

"And what about me?"

"……."

His mouth stayed shut. Ju-ri set the unlit cigarette between her lips and turned her gaze back to him.

"As you can see, I smoke, I love my drinks, I'm insane about spending money, and I'm more comfortable keeping things light than getting serious."

"……."

"Being this opposite is already a struggle, no? Right?"

The alcohol fumed off his breath. He'd drunk a lot — and drunk it fast.

*No point in another round.* Thinking that, Ju-ri smiled. In sharp contrast to the way his face had gone rigid.

He said nothing. She rolled the lighter between her fingers.

What she'd really meant, in so many words, was: *So if you've got feelings for me, snap out of it. Sure, feelings can bloom out of a physical thing, but I was never your type to begin with.*

It wasn't in her nature to spell things out like that. She preferred letting people read between the lines — no wasted emotional labor that way. For her, saying this much was already blunt enough. Between two adults who knew exactly what they were doing, a small signal should be plenty to get the message across.

Unless the person in question was a man like Han Geon-joo, who'd made it to nearly thirty without ever being with anyone.

*Surely he gets it by now.*

That as far as she was concerned, when he'd bolted because he didn't want a sexual relationship, that had been the end of it.

"…Is that."

It was around the time the condensation began sliding down the freshly delivered bottle that he finally broke the silence.

"Are you telling me not to like you?"

She hadn't expected him to ask outright. She raised an eyebrow, then let it fall.

"That's right."

"As in, you think I like you?"

"If not, then good for you."

Geon-joo's lips trembled.

Ju-ri was surprised to find herself pitying him. It was the first time she'd ever felt sorry for a grown man. Han Geon-joo, looks aside, was nothing like her type or her taste at all — but whether it was because of that transparency in him, like glass you could see straight through, or because of her own mistake, made while dazzled by a pretty shell, her heart did ache a little.

It was like watching a boy she'd poked at for fun who looked ready to burst into tears at any second.

Even now.

"…Liking someone is my choice, isn't it?"

When Geon-joo murmured it with his eyes down, Ju-ri gave a bitter smile.

*That's way too honest. Now I feel even worse.*

"Of course it's your call."

"……."

"As long as you don't show it."

"……."

"And don't make conversation like you did today."

At her cool, level voice, Geon-joo gripped his glass hard and downed what was left in it. Though it was empty, Ju-ri didn't reach for the new bottle.

The flush had spread across the whole of his face, and the cigarette clamped between her lips was soaked through at the filter.

Lost in thought, Geon-joo said nothing. He just stared at the empty glass. With the alcohol in him, the man looked far more emotional than usual, and he was visibly stung by her words — anyone could see it. Enough that she wanted to meddle, just a little, against her better judgment.

"But don't you think you should think about that a bit more?"

His gaze moved slowly until it found her face.

"Whether feelings for a woman you're supposed to hate would really last."

"……."

"Whether you're not just getting the wrong idea because you slept together once."

At that, the air around him turned bitterly cold — and sharp.

"If I like you, Ju-ri, I'm hardly in a position to be saying any of this."

*Ah. Right.*

*That was me crossing a line.*

"Got it. Sorry. I just wanted to give you a heads-up."

"A heads-up? About what? …Oh. That I'm mistaken."

He seemed to be trying to pull himself together, but his words were stretching slower and slower, steeped well and truly in the alcohol. Her own condition wasn't much better, though. Ju-ri took a mouthful of cold water and shrugged.

"My feelings are my business. I know them fine."

"Well… if you say so."

Ju-ri tapped the unopened bottle with her index finger.

"Better leave this one alone. Any more and getting home's going to be a problem."

"……."

"Let's call it a night. Or should I head out first?"

No need to go as far as asking whether he could even get home by himself.

Ju-ri glanced at Geon-joo, who gave no answer, then reached for the bag beside her.

"Well then, Geon-joo, get home safe."

"If I became similar."

She froze and turned back to him. He was looking up at her.

"Not different — if I became *similar*, would that be all right?"

"Sorry?"

"If I came to like all of it — the smoking, the drinking, the spending — would that be okay?"

Even those thick lenses couldn't hide the look in his eyes. Dark-brown and glistening, as if wrapped in layer upon layer of membrane, they fixed directly on her — and for a moment, Ju-ri was utterly thrown.

"What would I have to do for you to like me, Ju-ri?"

"You're asking *me* that? Right now?"

"Tell me, and I'll take it under consideration."

*Am I a client meeting?*

At the sheer earnestness in his eyes, Ju-ri sighed.

"Why would I like you?"

"……."

"Why aren't you saying anything? Getting shy all of a sudden?"

"…Because you're pretty."

"…Aha."

Ju-ri giggled.

"Honest, at least. So you fell for me at first sight? At the motel? Or was it the optical shop?"

She rested her chin on her hand and peered at him, but Geon-joo, face burning red, couldn't manage a single word.

"Want to get out of here?"

"You have to answer my question first—"

"There are plenty of decent motels around here."

To Geon-joo, whose eyes had gone perfectly round, Ju-ri gave a small tilt of her head.

"If you don't want to, no pressure."