Never Done This Before
"Oh, do you not smoke?"
"No. I don't like it."
The tone was firm and final.
Ju-ri shrugged and ground her cigarette out in the ashtray on the glass table.
"…You can keep smoking, if you want."
"You just said you didn't like it. Should I open a window?"
"I'm fine."
"Then I'll just sit here for a moment. This suits me just fine right now."
"Whatever works for you…."
Ju-ri leaned her cheek against the back of the sofa. It wasn't that she particularly wanted to move her body at the moment, but she quickly realized this had been a mistake.
"…"
"…"
Han Geon-joo was a man who had never heard of ice-breaking.
Rolling only her eyes, Ju-ri stole a glance at him sitting bolt upright on the bed.
His hair, damp and darker for it, his dewy fair skin, those pretty eyes brimming with melancholy—everything about him seized her gaze and refused to let go.
He really is gorgeous.
But her admiration lasted only a moment.
"…"
"…"
Somehow… isn't he being way too docile?
He just sat there doing nothing, staring at the floor. It wasn't as if anything was actually down there.
An awkward silence stretched between them.
"Um, did you… have something to say to me?"
Ju-ri cleared her throat and spoke first. It was a conversation they'd have to have eventually, so why not now?
Geon-joo lifted his head. If he could barely see from the bed even normally, there was no way he could make her out from five paces away. He furrowed his brow and squinted hard.
"May I put my glasses on."
"…?"
Ju-ri blinked.
"Do whatever you like."
Geon-joo put on his glasses. Expensive as they were, the new pair didn't distort his face the way the old Coke-bottle lenses had, but his eyesight was so poor that his eyes naturally narrowed to slits compared to when he went without.
"So the two of us…."
Geon-joo drawled out the words, then stopped mid-sentence.
The two of us?
"…Are we dating now?"
She stared at him without so much as a blink, then jolted back to her senses and straightened her posture. Geon-joo was watching her with a docile, perfectly upright bearing of his own.
"…Do you want that, Geon-joo?"
"…?"
Geon-joo blinked slowly.
"It's not a matter of wanting. Isn't that simply what we're supposed to do?"
This time it was Ju-ri who blinked.
Oh no. No way.
"Geon-joo, are you… by any chance…"
"…"
"Is this your first time?"
"…"
"No, right?"
Come on, no way.
Things had been a bit rough, sure, but still….
"Why would you ask that?"
A shiver ran down her spine.
"It's my first time."
"…"
"Does that… pose a problem?"
Ju-ri's expression froze solid.
His… first?
He said it's his first?
Then why on earth did I follow him here?
Oh—because it's his first? Because he doesn't know anything?
Absurd.
He hadn't exactly felt inexperienced, but he'd never seemed like a veteran either…?
What exactly has he been doing all twenty-nine years of his life without even losing his virginity?
Did I just defuse a wizard about to ascend to the heavens?
Countless thoughts flashed through her mind.
…I'm in trouble.
She'd always figured a guy who got teased that much couldn't possibly have a girlfriend—but come on, the man's face. His face was just too beautiful. It was a face that made the absence of a lover look like a crime, so naturally the possibility that he'd never had one had never once crossed her mind.
No, that was all just an excuse.
She'd simply been blinded by the face.
By the beauty of a virgin loser….
She had broken two taboos at once.
Avoid entangling yourself with coworkers in your personal life whenever possible.
And never get involved with a coworker who's a 'first'.
What a catastrophe.
How was she supposed to navigate this obstacle course?
Ju-ri quietly clenched her fist.
"…It'd probably be easier for both of us if we just pretended this never happened."
She forced the words out with an awkward smile.
Geon-joo's pupils contracted.
His lips parted slightly, then closed. Beyond the lenses, the corners of his eyes flinched.
The air around him darkened and sank.
Ju-ri's heart shriveled.
Did I mess up?
Living however you pleased was all well and good, but wounds you dealt to others came back to you as karma.
You had to live holding on to the things worth keeping. That had always been her modest little code of ethics.
Geon-joo's silence pressed down on her like a weight.
Right. That was a horrible way to put it. 'Easier if we pretend it never happened'? Like that could work. Well—still, we can't date. Did you see the way he looked at my cigarette just now? He hates it that much; there's no dating anything.
'Oh, but if he's a virgin, it's doable.'
He never would have thought that far.
Because it's his first time.
That explained everything. Every single question had an answer now.
So that's why he lured me here and I got swept along, helpless.
And here I thought it wasn't because he hated me that much.
"Your mouth—why did you kiss me?"
The question burst out of him so suddenly that it scattered every thought in Ju-ri's head.
His face was turned toward her, but his eyes had slipped subtly away.
As though he couldn't bear to look at her, and the sight made something sting faintly in her chest. Probably right about where her conscience lived.
"Did you want to?"
"…"
"Haha."
She laughed awkwardly. Only then did Geon-joo look at her again. At the disbelief written across his face, Ju-ri sheepishly dropped the smile.
"…Is that just how you are?"
"What do you mean?"
"You do it when you want to?"
"…?"
Obviously?
"Yeah."
"…"
"I do it because I want to."
"What I mean is…."
Geon-joo furrowed his brow as if frustrated.
"Do you have no feelings for me at all—and you do it simply because you want to?"
"Oh…."
His gaze locked onto her. Under those earnest eyes, Ju-ri faltered for a moment.
"I… wouldn't say that. It's not like there are no feelings."
"…"
"I don't know if I've told you this, but your face, Geon-joo—it's exactly my type."
"…Is that all?"
Ju-ri hesitated a little.
"Yeah."
That should be enough for him to understand.
Watching his expression sink lower and lower, Ju-ri didn't feel great about it either.
She and this man were opposites in nearly every respect. It was impossible not to know. Style, conversation, ways of thinking, hobbies, values—there wasn't a single thing they shared.
And being different meant being unable to understand each other.
People who were different could still share a bed, but love was another matter.
Looking at his bewildered face, Ju-ri sighed inwardly.
If he really was a first-timer (she still couldn't quite believe it), then he'd simply have to taste it to know whether it was shit or soybean paste. Only then would he be satisfied.
A waste of time, of course.
"Hmm…."
And even in the middle of all this, his face was still exactly to her taste.
"Would you be open to seeing each other whenever it's convenient?"
"…"
"That could work."
Geon-joo raised his head.
"What… exactly does that mean?"
"We meet when we need each other and have fun together."
"…Are you talking about a sex partner?"
The words sex partner coming out of his mouth sounded excruciatingly stiff.
Oh, so he does know the concept.
Well, sure. Being twenty-nine and a first-timer doesn't mean he knows nothing.
They'd slept together once and he'd gotten confused when she asked if they were dating—so of course.
"Is that really what you meant?"
But looking at Geon-joo's face, Ju-ri fell silent.
The muscles of his jaw had hardened like stone. In his pretty, deep eyes behind the glasses, the glinting light from earlier was nowhere to be found. Maybe it was the glasses. Maybe not.
It was a face far colder than when she'd suggested forgetting the whole thing—and, unmistakably, shocked.
…Did I mess up again?
In the next instant, Geon-joo shot to his feet, stripped off the robe, scooped his fallen clothes from the floor, and dressed. Every single movement was stiff, mechanical—and yet beneath it, there was anger.
Propped against the sofa, Ju-ri watched his magnificent body disappear behind the checkered shirt.
Soon he stood looking at her, restored to exactly what he'd been before entering this room.
"Pretending it never happened would be better."
He said it coldly and turned away.
Slam!
Left alone, Ju-ri scratched absently at the back of her neck. Yeah, I screwed up. He's the type who hates this stuff. Way more old-fashioned than he looks. Wait—no, would a conservative guy have a one-night stand with a coworker? What is he? I can't get a read on this character at all.
'Ugh, my head hurts.'
She hastily took a long drag on her cigarette.
First things first—should I shower?
Only when she pushed herself up did her body begin to ache in protest. Every spot where Han Geon-joo had held her too tight.