Chapter 21
It seemed like they had finally reached the peak, and a cry of agony pierced the air. The breathing came in irregular, erratic gasps, as if the person were locked in a fierce struggle. Adeline pressed her thighs together tightly and clamped her mouth shut.
Every time Noah’s groan echoed in her ears, every time she remembered that he was alone in that room, her body reacted in a strange, unwelcome way. A warm moisture gathered below, and her belly grew feverishly hot. Adeline had never touched herself before, but instinct took over. She rubbed her thighs together without realizing it, trying desperately to stifle the desperate whimpers that escaped her.
Since it was something she had done unconsciously, Adeline simply groaned for a long time before exhaustion finally dragged her into sleep. Whenever she woke from such a light doze, her condition was always worse than before.
‘Please, let Noah simply sleep tonight…‘
Adeline clasped her hands together and offered up a prayer she didn’t even know whom to address.
***
“You said you had an episode recently?”
Noah’s physician recorded Adeline’s words with professional diligence. Her hollow eyes and labored breathing were unmistakable as she nodded.
“You felt like you couldn’t breathe? Could it be that your condition has worsened?”
“Um… I’ll need to run a few more tests, but from what I see now, it looks like you’re still improving.”
“I see…”
She had expected this. Adeline wasn’t surprised.
“First, I’ll give you something to calm you down. If it happens again, take it.”
The physician glanced at the sickly-looking Adeline. Her pale complexion looked as though she might faint at any moment. The doctor knew Noah’s illness was a lie meant to deceive her and felt an uncomfortable twist in his chest.
“Y-Your Highness, are you all right?”
“Me?”
“Yes. Your color is terrible. Your face is ashen.”
The physician must have thought he was catching an innocent person in a lie.
Adeline shook her head, then grabbed her forehead and groaned as a sudden wave of dizziness hit her.
“My head hurts a little… I probably can’t sleep much lately. I haven’t been resting well for days.”
“How many hours of sleep do you usually get?”
“I don’t know. I only manage to catch a few hours before dawn and then have to wake up.”
“That sounds like sleep deprivation. You should at least—”
“No.”
Adeline cut him off cleanly.
“I have somewhere to go today. That’s all.”
“If it’s not urgent, getting an IV would help with your recovery.”
“It is urgent. I’ll be going home and coming back.”
After telling the physician about Noah’s condition, it was time for her to do something she could control.
Spending time with Noah? Of course it was important. Building more memories with him mattered too.
But…
‘I can’t just stand by and watch him leave. Once he’s gone, I’ll never be able to live like this.’
After this latest episode, Adeline felt an overwhelming certainty that she wouldn’t survive life without Noah. More than anything, she regretted that she hadn’t done everything in her power to treat him.
She regretted being unable to forgive herself for sending him away without doing anything.
***
“Adeline is going to visit the Billet estate?”
Noah’s eyes narrowed at the news.
Suddenly? Adeline had gone out often enough, but she hadn’t returned to the Billet estate in a long time.
Had he gone too far?
For days Noah had secretly whispered sweet nothings to Adeline while she moaned beneath him. “I couldn’t sleep because I wanted you so badly.”
In that situation, Adeline had fled to the Billet estate as if running away, and Noah’s thoughts naturally drifted there.
“What was the reason?”
“I wasn’t able to determine that.”
Noah’s brows snapped together at Albert’s vague report. If he had known this would happen, he should have ordered Albert to watch every move Adeline made long ago. But that thought vanished as he realized he was no different from his father.
He wanted to keep her in the palm of his hand.
Where she went, what she did, what she was thinking right now. He wanted to open that small head and see inside. Yet the wet, sticky feeling buried deep in his chest made his lips twist.
‘She’s a problem.’
He never thought he would understand his father.
The thought was brief.
Since he didn’t know the reason, he could only assume Adeline had run away because she was shocked by his moans.
‘So if she really ran away…’
He stood up from his seat at once. Striding quickly, he headed straight for Adeline’s room and opened the closet.
He checked her travel bag. When he opened the zipper, thinking she might have left only the bag, several neatly folded outfits, fresh undergarments, and a diary were still inside.
“Haa… you scared me, you bastard.”
Noah, who had been expecting Adeline to vanish forever, let out a breath of relief. He was about to close the closet door when curiosity got the better of him. He picked up the diary.
***
“Adeline-nim!”
The longtime butler welcomed Adeline with a warm smile. Since she had been a young child, he had been managing the Billet family, and he still missed the girl he had to send away to a distant province after her mother’s death.
His forehead lines softened at the unexpected visit.
“Karlson-nim, you’ve been well?”
“Of course. I missed Young Miss so much. Even four years ago, when you visited the Duke only to leave for the provinces right away, I was so upset!”
Adeline offered an apologetic smile.
Four years ago, when her grandmother’s health had slightly improved, Adeline had suddenly felt homesick and returned to the capital. The first place she visited was the Billet estate, but she turned around before reaching the gate. After her mother’s death, the house no longer felt like a comfortable home to her.
Adeline’s cozy space had been taken over by her stepmother and her half-sister. To Adeline they felt like strangers, and to them she was a stranger too. They coexisted like oil and water that never mixed.
Over time, the stepmother grew increasingly uncomfortable with Adeline and complained to Adeline’s father. The father, who had just started a new family, listened to her words and sent Adeline away to live with his mother in a distant province.
Since then, every time Adeline returned to the Billet estate, it felt foreign.
In truth, she had never been able to come. She simply lacked the courage.
She didn’t want to see the childhood home that had changed or the space filled with memories of her mother.
“But your luggage?”
The butler looked confused at the empty-handed Adeline. Adeline scratched her cheek sheepishly.
“I’m just visiting for a short time. I’ll be leaving again soon.”
“Ah… At least stay one night.”
“There are circumstances. More importantly, is my father there?”
“Unfortunately, the Duke is away at the moment.”
The butler grumbled with obvious disappointment.
“Ah. That’s fine.”
Adeline, who had been tense, let out a sigh of relief. In truth, she had no intention of seeing her father. With his strict nature, telling him about Noah and explaining the situation would have led to the expected reaction.
“You’re still the same crazy girl. The childhood playtime is over. I won’t let the eldest daughter of the Billet family marry that troublesome man. I’ll demand an immediate annulment, using his illness as the excuse. That’s what I’ll do.”
Adeline felt a chill run down her spine.
“Um…”
Adeline took the butler’s hand and led him to a corner. After glancing around to make sure no one was nearby, she lowered her voice to a whisper.
“Could I… see the inheritance that would come to me?”
***
“What if we sold this villa?”
Sitting alone with the butler in the drawing room, Adeline looked at the list of assets and spoke softly. The news that the longtime butler would be selling the estate—something Adeline had visited after years away—hit him with considerable shock.
“I don’t want my father to know.”
“May I ask why the Duke is hiding this plan even from him?”
It was for the cost of developing the medicine.
Because of his latest episode, Adeline had finally realized she wasn’t ready to send Noah away. There was no point in wasting time on empty memories. She only felt foolish for not having started medicine development sooner.
But she couldn’t tell the butler the truth. It was a secret she couldn’t even share with Noah’s parents, and the butler was a reliable man, yet she worried the information might leak.
“Is there a problem that might require such a large sum?”