First Kiss

It was a question tossed out as lightly as a probe, yet he seemed to have already decided on the answer. Harin hesitated, nails digging into the bare floor. Should she say yes, or no? At her age, admitting she'd never even been kissed felt like an insult to her pride.

"Figures. Knew it."

Before she could get a word in, his next sentence cut in like a blade, merciless and sure. "And someone who's never been kissed — how exactly were you planning to have a kid?"

That one remark wiped Harin's mind blank. "A kid?"

"You've got a son, don't you?"

"You mean Hayul?"

"How would I know the brat's name?"

So he'd mistaken Hayul for her son. It made sense, now that she thought about it — he'd called her a kid's mother the first time they met, and there was enough of an age gap for the misunderstanding.

"He's not my son. He's my little brother."

Harin turned her head away with a scowl. The warmth still clinging to her body went cold in an instant. The thought of Hayul's face flickered once through her mind, and her heart grew needlessly heavy. Not her child by blood, but a little brother who would ultimately be hers to raise. He might call her "noona," and there might be a grandmother in the picture, but practically speaking, looking after Hayul fell to Harin.

Just then, Lee-gang let out a soft laugh and spoke. "Then that was your first kiss?"

Harin lifted her head, her brows drawing tight. Is that seriously what matters right now?

At the sight of her face souring by the second, Lee-gang snorted and straightened up from where he'd been leaning against the ring ropes. "Forget it. What was I even thinking, trying something with a girl who's never been kissed..."

Muttering as if lamenting his own fate, he slung his bag over his shoulder and abruptly disappeared into the men's shower room.

Shhhhhh—

The sound of running water filled the gym. Stripped of his clothes, Lee-gang strode straight into the cold stream. The muscles of his back shifted, heavy and dense. With his head bowed, a faint smile spread across his lips. Her thin voice trembling as she told him to stop. The hands that pushed at him, then went slack all too quickly. The moments when ragged breaths tore from the corners of those bright-red lips... He seriously considered just taking her. Pathetic as it was, those few short moments felt more alive than the desiccated routine of his days lately.

"Hm..."

He exhaled roughly through his nose and twisted his neck once, as if trying to sever the lust climbing up the line of his spine. The ice-cold water poured over his head, but his body only burned hotter in defiance. His hand reached down to himself, swollen so full it ached toward bursting. And he moved fast, imagining himself driving into her. He had no desire to force down someone who said no — but neither could he pour this overflowing thirst anywhere else. Women were everywhere around him, yet not one of them ever stole his gaze like this. The scent of strawberries that had brushed past him when they pressed close during sparring. That slender wrist wiping away the sweat that beaded and ran. The soft swell of her breasts, standing distinct even compressed under that sports bra... Between the cold streams of falling water, the scenes kept overlapping in his mind. Her first kiss — so her first time would be a first too, then. He'd never cared about things like that to begin with, but now that he knew, he found himself wanting to claim her entirely, before anyone else could take her. He wanted to bury his face in that soft skin, devour her with his mouth. If he wrapped his hand around hers as she pushed against his chest, and loosened her tension with a slow, coaxing kiss — one laced with comfort and persuasion — would she open up to him a little? Once her chest flushed burning red with pleasure and he pressed into her deep enough to make her hips jolt, her body would ripen on its own. And then he'd push inside her, and take in with both eyes the sight of her beneath him — face red, melting, sobbing out sweet cries of want... His hand raced toward release.

"Ugh..."

With a rough groan, the evidence of his desire mixed with the water and swirled down the tiled floor.

"Haah... f—."

He pressed a hand to his forehead, panting hard. All he'd spilled was need. Even with the filthy instinct sated, the tangled mess of his emotions — the raw craving for her — had only grown sharper. Once again, the conviction boiled up inside him: he had to have her held tight in his two hands. Finished with his shower, Lee-gang toweled off and stepped out toward the mirror where a hair dryer hung. Dabbing at his wet hair with one hand, he fished his phone out of his bag. A reply had come from Noh Tae-shik regarding the background check he'd asked for on Harin. He'd gotten a rough verbal report over the phone, and they'd been trading texts about the rest. This batch held nothing much — just the fact that Jang Hayul was Jang Harin's half-brother.

"Talk about stating the obvious..."

Lee-gang muttered and tossed the phone carelessly back into his bag. He fell deep into thought as he toweled the water from his hair. "Mother died young of stomach cancer. Father was a detective, went missing after getting tangled up with the mob."

He chewed over Tae-shik's words in his head. Really — father and daughter, cut from the same laughable cloth. The mob made her father vanish, and now that daughter was sitting here having her first kiss stolen by a gangster. "She showed promise, all right... but after the shoulder injury, nothing big ever came of it. She worked part-time jobs to pay for rehab, but apparently it didn't take."

No matter how hard she rehabbed, she'd have been working herself ragged using that shoulder the whole time — recovery was bound to crawl. Had she really wanted to stay an athlete that badly, even at that cost? To Lee-gang, that desperate, cherished dream of hers looked like nothing so much as a weakness. If she wanted to be a fighter, then he could simply make her one. He had a fight ring where she could unleash herself whenever she pleased, if that was what she wanted. Well. An illegal one, technically. Build trust step by step, hand her opportunities, win her heart — and her body would follow on its own. Then again, maybe the body comes first. Lee-gang let out a short laugh at the memory of Harin's face — flushed red, flustered and bewildered.

Harin tugged her clothes back into place and slipped off the sparring platform. She bent to gather the gloves scattered across the floor. At some point the sound of running water from the shower room had cut off, leaving only the faint rustle of movement behind it. She couldn't understand him — walking in there to shower when they'd hardly done a real round of sparring and he'd barely broken a sweat. In the quiet stillness, she could almost hear his breathing, crisp and distinct. Suddenly the sensation of that breath against her ear flickered back to life and she flinched. The lips and tongue that had tangled roughly with hers, the hot energy that had wound around her body — it all surged back, vivid and unwelcome. What if... what if he'd crossed the line in that moment? The mere thought made her lower abdomen tighten in a way she didn't care for. She covered her face with both hands. This is the worst. What am I doing, daydreaming about dating Yoon Lee-gang? For those few short seconds when she'd been caught up in him, not once had her grandmother, her brother, or the family's troubles crossed her mind. Is now really the time for me to be losing my head over this? She knew it wasn't right. And yet she couldn't deny it — that brief instant of brushing lips and tangled breath had been thrilling and intoxicating enough to make her forget everything.

The next morning, early. Harin woke to the rice cooker's cheerful chime announcing breakfast was ready. Her body ached with exhaustion, but she bullied herself upright on willpower alone and headed for the kitchen. She warmed the soup, opened the cooker, spooned out the rice, her hands moving in busy rhythm. She set the breakfast table for her grandmother and Hayul, and while they ate, she slipped into the bathroom to get ready for work. After that came checking that her grandmother took her medication — and she was just about to start the dishes when it happened.

"Harin, let Grandma do the dishes."

Faced with her grandmother's pitying gaze, Harin's resolve softened. If it was only one round of dishes, and it put her grandmother's heart a little more at ease... maybe that was enough.

She left the dishes to her grandmother and hurried out to the entryway, slipping on her shoes.

"Hayul, you can stay and behave with Grandma, right?"

"Ye-yeah!"

The caregiver would be arriving soon, which eased her mind considerably — but her feet still wouldn't carry her out the door.

"I'm off."

To her grandmother and Hayul seeing her out, Harin forced a smile and waved.

Riding the bus into town, the first thing Harin did was roll up the café's shutters. The smell of dust and thick coffee stung the tip of her nose. She flung the door wide open, took down the chairs that had been stacked upside-down on the tables, and mopped the floor. She preheated the coffee machine and filled the grinder with beans. The summer sun was already glittering by early morning. As work hours arrived, office workers began trickling in. Even out in the countryside, the town proper was full of them — by morning the takeout line stretched out the door.

"One iced americano, make it quick."

"Iced café latte with an extra shot."

Under the relentless flood of orders, Harin's hands never got a moment's rest. Scooping ice, snapping on lids, handing out buzzers — there was no pause between any of it. In her haste she scalded the back of her hand under the hot water tap, the skin flushing angry red, but there wasn't even time to treat it. She stole a glance at the clock on the wall. It wasn't even nine in the morning yet.

"Whew..."

Leaving the coffee machine running, Harin leaned back and rolled her neck. Her lower back was already stiff and aching, and sweat had begun to trickle down her spine under the blazing sun. She was bone-tired — but the day had only just begun.