Don't Say I Can't

"Ahem, then if Da-yeon could just wait a moment…"

"It seems you're having trouble making the time. If you're truly not inclined, we can simply pretend this never happened."

"No—just a second. When did I ever… This is an important meeting too…"

The moment Seok-hyeon pressed him, President Park rose at once. He approached Da-yeon with a thick, oily smile.

"Business is urgent, I'm afraid… Once I wrap this up I'll contact you right away, so let's meet next time."

As President Park hurried to end things, Seok-hyeon came up behind him, already holding the bag that had been resting on Da-yeon's chair. Feigning complete ignorance, he stepped right up to her and handed it over himself.

"I'm sorry. For interrupting what must have been a pleasant time."

His voice was calm—so calm that sarcasm would almost have been kinder. Seok-hyeon turned and led President Park straight back to their seats. Left alone like an unwelcome guest, Da-yeon had no choice but to leave.

And just like that, Da-yeon's matchmaking meeting fell apart.

Da-yeon sat tucked into a corner of another café inside the hotel. Thinking of President Park, she knew the proper thing was to go straight home—yet she couldn't.

When Seok-hyeon had handed her the handbag, he had slipped his valet ticket into her palm. Wait for me, it meant. Suddenly responsible for his car, Da-yeon hid herself in the café and simply waited. She had no idea how long it would take, but waiting felt like the only thing she could do.

About an hour later, her phone rang.

The call ended almost as soon as it began. The chill in his voice left her not knowing what to do. She gathered her things in a rush and waited in the lobby.

Seok-hyeon appeared before long. President Park was nowhere to be seen—sent off sometime earlier, apparently. He strode quickly toward her, then slowed as he drew near. Da-yeon held out the valet ticket he had entrusted to her.

"…You're angry."

"Did I have any right to be?"

He turned as if telling her to follow, back straight and rigid like a man truly furious—yet his pace stayed measured enough for her to keep up. Da-yeon walked quietly behind him.

A terrible silence stretched while they waited for the car. Without a word Seok-hyeon opened the door for her. She stared at the open door a moment, then simply climbed in.

The car moved. Seok-hyeon drove in silence. In the frozen atmosphere Da-yeon could do nothing but breathe.

Only when they hit the first red light after starting did he finally speak.

"Is this what you wanted, Da-yeon?"

"……"

"If you went to that meeting because you wanted to… or rather, if you found me so unappealing that you were looking for a backup plan…"

"It wasn't like that. …And it isn't that I find you unappealing either."

"……"

"If anything, you're more than I deserve."

Even as she said it she felt ridiculous. The kind of vague answer that could drive anyone mad.

The light changed; the car rolled forward. Da-yeon clenched her fists and forced the rest of the words out.

"I just… don't understand you, Seok-hyeon."

At that single sentence the wheel jerked; the car pulled over to the side of the road. Seok-hyeon, who had been staring straight ahead, turned and looked at her steadily.

Without seeing his expression, Da-yeon kept her head down and continued.

"I'd rather be with someone whose wants are clear."

"……"

"If your tastes were unusual, or if you wanted my family background—those things I could understand more easily."

At her self-destructive remarks Seok-hyeon let out a short, empty laugh for the first time. He looked away from her and fixed his eyes on the road ahead.

Only after that intense gaze left her could Da-yeon raise her head. From the corner of her eye his face was expressionless; he merely tapped the steering wheel with one finger. The steady little thuds tightened something inside her chest.

He stopped tapping. His mouth opened instead.

"Do you need me to have some flaw before you can feel safe?"

For the first time the man named Shin Seok-hyeon felt frightening.

"My imagination's pretty poor—how exactly should I manufacture a defect for you?"

He did not stop; the words came sharp and rapid.

"Sex addict? A bastard so crazy for women he can't hold back his needs around Kim Da-yeon for even a second—would that make sense to you?"

"Seok-hyeon, that isn't what I—"

"As if a man who spends five billion won just to wreck a matchmaking meeting is in his right mind anyway."

"……"

"Tastes? If I have to put it into words—I'm not interested in men, and with women I only react to Kim Da-yeon. Background? What possible meaning could a celebrity show-doctor father-in-law and some provincial hospital hold for me?"

"……"

"Stalker? If I say I've already started obsessing over every little thing as if you're already mine—would that count as a proper flaw?"

The rapid-fire, brutal statements made Da-yeon swallow hard.

"…I'm sorry. Please just clean this up somehow, even now. The opportunity cost you've spent on me is far too much."

"That's for me to decide. One question only. Was all of this your will, Da-yeon?"

"…No."

"Your parents' will, then?"

"……"

"Any parent with a shred of sense wouldn't send their daughter to a man like that."

She couldn't tell whether the anger was aimed at her or at something else entirely. Seok-hyeon bit his lip and took hold of the wheel again.

"You can reject me. Just don't lower yourself by deciding you have some defect."

The car moved once more. Until the very moment he dropped her off at home, Seok-hyeon said nothing else.

In front of her house he opened the door for her. It felt like an order to get out and disappear. Da-yeon stepped down.

She took in the cold profile of the man who closed the door for her. It felt like the end. She clenched the fabric of her skirt. It was already over between them—not because of anything he had done, but solely because of her own inferiority complex.

Bracing herself for the last of it, she confessed.

"I… won't see President Park."

Only then did Seok-hyeon's gaze turn fully to her.

"I'm sorry. Let me apologize. Not conducting myself properly was my fault."

She apologized for having suddenly turned him down. Unable to meet his eyes, she kept speaking.

"I'm not asking you to meet me again."

His brow furrowed, but she did not see it; she simply poured out the resolve she had been holding inside.

"This may sound like an excuse, but… I think Director Jeong left some things out."

Her throat suddenly tightened.

"They say… I was pregnant once."

No reaction came from Seok-hyeon. In a trembling voice she continued.

"I don't even know who the father was. I have no memory of it. They just said I made a mistake in the heat of youth. And after that I lost my mind and threw myself in front of a car…"

With nothing of her own to remember, she had simply lived believing what she was told.

"I must have been in a bad accident then. That's why I don't remember."

A life without context.

"An entire stretch of time was sliced clean away. From high school until right after the accident—nothing. I don't even know what I studied… I have mild hemiplegia, so I went through long rehabilitation. You can't tell now, but… if I overdo it, things feel a little off."

From the tension her right hand and right leg began to throb.

"They would have tried to marry me off anywhere, even if the conditions weren't good—someone who could cover up whatever my past was and just live with it."

"……"

"My younger sister has to get married next year, so my parents wanted me settled this year. That's why…"

Da-yeon bit down hard on her lower lip.

"…That's why I thought it wouldn't work with you, Seok-hyeon."

Speaking word by word to a man she had met only three times through matchmaking made her heart tear open.

"I'm not asking you to see me again. It's just that if this is the end I'll regret it… because I must have seemed strange… I only hoped you might understand a little…"

The past in which she had supposedly gotten pregnant while swept up in emotion had been cut away; the unknown person to whom she might once have given her heart in place of family had vanished as well.

She had grown so used to doubting every man who showed interest—and doubting herself—that she could no longer easily trust the faint, tingling feeling that sometimes stirred in her chest.

With her head bowed she never saw Seok-hyeon's face. She bowed even lower in farewell, then immediately turned her back. She wanted to put as much distance between them as possible.

She had not taken more than a few steps when Seok-hyeon blocked her path.

"I'm sorry."

An apology from him. The unexpected words left her unable to answer at once.

"I'm sorry for speaking so carelessly."

He fell silent a moment, as if choosing his words.

"…It must have been hard."

Carefully he opened his arms—a gesture that looked like an offer of comfort. When she did not step back he drew her deeply into his embrace. Before she could even register how the distance between them had vanished, she was already held against him.

"I'm sorry. I…"

His voice caught; the words would not come out cleanly.

"So please…"

The man held her tightly and seemed to suffer.

"Just don't tell me that I can't…"

Don't say that.

At the pleading words Da-yeon lifted her arms and wrapped them around his back.