I Have No Girlfriend
“Lunch… hic—did you have lunch?”
“No.”
“Is there… food?”
“Yeah.”
I’d taught him how to cook last time, and apparently he was actually managing to feed himself. That alone was still a miracle.
“I’ll heat up some stew… so try some.”
The hiccups refused to stop, so I thumped my chest. As I switched on the induction cooktop, Kwon Hyun-jin held out a glass of ice water he’d drawn from the purifier.
“Why…?”
“Drink it. Stop whining.”
“When did I ever whine—”
Every time I opened my mouth another hiccup surged up, so I just drank. Thanks to the bone-deep chill of the ice water, the hiccups finally subsided.
I ought to make him a proper meal. Or at least something edible, even if it wasn’t delicious.
I ladled off some of the spicy kimchi-stew broth and re-seasoned it—a few spoonfuls of sugar, then a long squeeze of ketchup. It looked like a culinary crime, but if he ate it, fine; if he didn’t, he’d never ask me to cook for him again.
Kwon Hyun-jin watched my outlandish method the entire time without a single word of complaint.
“So you have to go back to high school in Korea?”
“Dunno. Probably.”
“With a personality like yours, I don’t think you’d last a day in school…”
“What?”
He had sharp ears. He’d somehow caught the mutter I’d meant only for myself.
He was glaring at me from the side. Honestly, I’d said it so he would hear. Caught out, I hastily changed the subject.
“Should I… add some tofu?”
“What did you just say.”
“I asked if you eat tofu…”
“You really take me for a fucking idiot, don’t you.”
I didn’t answer and simply looked away; mercifully, Kwon Hyun-jin let it drop.
“So you’re back in Korea for good?”
“Dunno. They dragged me here for some sixty-year circus.”
“Not a sixty-year party—his seventieth, surely…”
They’d already thrown lavish banquets for Chairman Kwon’s sixtieth and his hwan-gap. The real high-hee celebration was scheduled for early next year.
“Anyway, I got tricked into coming too.”
Worried the stew might taste strange, I sampled the broth. It wasn’t as bad as I’d feared, so I reached to turn off the heat—only to find Kwon Hyun-jin staring down at me with a deadly serious face.
“Hey. Lee Na-hee.”
“…”
“I’m going back to England. So stop asking. I fucking hate being here too.”
“Why… what’s so wrong with Seoul?”
“Dunno. Everything’s shit. It’s annoying.”
Na-hee, I hate you.
I hate being in Korea because of you.
That was exactly what the glare in his eyes seemed to say. Left without a reply, I scooped a generous helping of pork into the kimchi stew and then portioned out the sticky, undercooked rice he’d made.
“You put in too much water, so it turns into rice paste like this. I told you to measure it against the back of your hand.”
“I did.”
“Look. I said up to here.”
I pointed to the middle of the back of my own hand. Kwon Hyun-jin deliberately set his hand beside mine and marked the same spot. He’d done exactly what I’d taught him.
But his hand wasn’t just longer—it was twice as thick. I hadn’t accounted for the difference…
“…You only go up to here.”
I reset the mark for him. A few more solo attempts and he’d figure it out, I hoped.
“What’s this.”
Just as Kwon Hyun-jin was finishing his meal, I casually slid two movie tickets out of my wallet and held them out.
He looked completely blank.
“What… are these for me?”
“Yeah.”
The frozen Kwon Hyun-jin set his spoon down a beat late. With those long, beautiful fingers he picked up the tickets with extreme care.
Defenders 2. Date, time, place.
He scrutinized the ordinary tickets as if they were a certificate of authenticity for a wedding gift, tracing every printed word with his eyes. At last he lifted his head in surprise.
“It’s Wednesday?”
“Yeah. You’re free anyway, right?”
For a second Kwon Hyun-jin smiled, flashing white teeth. It was a dazzling grin that showed the dark cave of his mouth.
He looked like the happiest person alive, and without meaning to I found myself quietly awed.
Was there anyone else on earth this pretty and this handsome?
No. There really wasn’t. Looks… fine. I had to give him that. Honestly, the kid was devastatingly good-looking. The kind of face that could bewitch anyone.
I was staring at him, lost, when for no reason at all my breath began to catch.
You can’t keep looking, Na-hee. A sudden, frightening premonition seized me. My heart pounded with a nameless dread.
I hurriedly gathered my bag and stood.
“Watch the movie with your girlfriend. Have a nice time, then.”
I tried to leave at once, but Kwon Hyun-jin abruptly stepped into my path.
“I don’t have one of those?”
I nearly collided with him. He was far too close. When I stumbled back, he caught my wrist. He probably thought he was only tugging lightly, yet my upper body tipped enough that I nearly lost my balance.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, Na-hee.”
“…You do.”
“I don’t.”
The more I pushed him away, the more Kwon Hyun-jin clung, pulling me closer.
“Someone you just talk to, or a girlfriend-adjacent person… you must have someone.”
“I said I don’t. Want to see my phone?”
He shoved the phone at me as if daring me to check right then and there.
I couldn’t even see the call log.
We were far too close. The fabric-softener scent of his thick T-shirt scrambled every thought in my head.
The room spun. Tense, I swallowed dryly, turned my face away, and tried to escape the gaze pouring down on me like a summer rain.
“Forget it. Why would I look at your phone.”
“Hey. There’s nobody.”
I tried to push him off empty-handed, but he seized my remaining free wrist as well. He looked ready never to let go until his sense of injustice was satisfied.
“You just decide things on your own without even asking?”
“Then… what about those.”
I hadn’t meant to ask. I had my pride too.
I’d planned to pretend to the end that I knew nothing about the bouquets he brought home almost every other day. But my traitorous lips opened of their own accord.
“You bring flowers home all the time. And not just any flowers… roses.”
Roses, no less. Orange roses, at that. There had to be meaning in them. A meaning born of affection, shared only between two people. A meaning I didn’t know…
“Fuck, who the hell is bringing them home?!”
Kwon Hyun-jin’s sudden shout made his ears flush scarlet. Even his neck turned pink. I flinched.
“Don’t tell me…”
“…”
“You… you bought them? You actually paid money for them?”
Apparently my shocked stare embarrassed him; Kwon Hyun-jin turned his head away and only sighed. The grip on my wrists loosened.
In that silence I read confirmation.
Unbelievable… Kwon Hyun-jin buying flowers? Who would ever believe it. I’d sooner believe he’d bought a gun.
“You really purchased them yourself? Or maybe the florist owed you money and couldn’t pay it back so he had no choice but to settle with flowers—”
“Hey.”
Kwon Hyun-jin glared at me fiercely. The way he bristled at a harmless joke was a little—just a tiny bit—cute.
I’m crazy. I must be completely crazy. Finding Kwon Hyun-jin cute. A crumbling laugh escaped me on its own.
“No, I was just… surprised. It’s surprising. People really do have all kinds of sides, I guess. Like Jekyll and Hyde…”
So maybe he lived as Hyde most of the time, but somewhere deep in his chest there was a tiny Jekyll no one knew about.
Anyway, I saw it again. He knew how to buy roses and decorate a house with them.
“Be there by three on Wednesday.”
“Go with your friends.”
“Don’t you get it? I don’t have friends.”
The movie started at four-thirty on Wednesday. I’d deliberately booked that time so that while Kwon Hyun-jin was at the theater I could leave side dishes in the empty house…
“…What about going with Driver Kim?”
“Stop pissing me off for real.”
He’d already had the same chauffeur for months, yet Kwon Hyun-jin still hadn’t managed to grow close to Driver Kim at all.