Moonlight Rainbow
"If it's a hassle, then don't. Who asked you to?"
"I said it's cute. Why won't you even let me tease you a little?"
"It's annoying…"
"Even if it's annoying, noona, just put up with it for me."
All at once, music thundered across Hangang Plaza, rich and resonant. Following that grand, honeyed melody, Banpo Bridge itself seemed to stir and come alive.
"Kwon Hyun-jin. Kwon Hyun-jin."
"What."
"Hurry—look at that."
As he turned, brilliant multicolored light erupted from behind Kwon Hyun-jin's broad shoulders.
It was the musical fountain of Banpo Bridge. I had thought they never ran it in winter, but apparently they had switched it on specially for the year-end.
"It's so pretty. Right?"
"Yeah."
Kwon Hyun-jin glanced at it for a moment, then turned away as if it held no interest. He went right back to concentrating on tying my sneaker laces.
His fine hair swayed. The wind carried a familiar scent that washed over me completely.
Even the dazzling musical fountain was useless in front of Kwon Hyun-jin. My gaze was stolen in an instant. I watched his hair flutter, then suddenly reached out.
It felt as soft as it looked—like stroking a large, gentle dog.
"Kwon Hyun-jin."
"Yeees."
His answering voice was playful.
"Go ahead, noona."
"Hey. Do you… miss your parents too? Like that?"
"I'd have to have seen them to miss them. Never even met them—why would I miss them?"
The reply came instantly, with a snort of laughter.
I must have been drunker than I thought. The mood had me asking questions I would never have dared to ask otherwise.
"But there are times when you feel lonely, right?"
"I don't know. Lonely… not really."
Tightening the lace on my left sneaker, Kwon Hyun-jin furrowed his brow.
"What even is lonely?"
"…"
"I'm asking what it is."
"Being in pain alone. Having no one to tell, so even though you're already hurting it just gets worse and harder…"
When you carry a secret you can never confide. When you hold unspeakable pain by yourself—that is when a person becomes lonely.
"You know something?"
"What."
"I've never had a home of my own. Not once since I was born."
The hand working on my right lace paused. Then, as if nothing had happened, Kwon Hyun-jin's fingers resumed their smooth motion.
I was glad he wasn't looking at me. Because of that, my lips grew infinitely brave.
"Before we went into the Chairman's house, Mom and I moved more than ten times."
"…"
"He came after us saying he'd kill us all—that man who was supposed to be my dad. Said Mom abandoned him and ran, so he was going to kill me and Chan-hee too."
Fleeing several times a year had been so exhausting. That was why even a single room next to a kitchen thick with cooking smells felt precious. Even knowing we were freeloading in someone else's house.
"You can't even imagine a place that burns briquettes, can you."
"…"
"I lived in places like that."
I couldn't control the words spilling from my lips. It was my own body, yet I had no hold over it.
Kwon Hyun-jin's hair slipped soft between my fingers, and his scent, tangled in the river wind, completely disarmed me.
"I've even lived in a house smaller than the entrance of your apartment. Me, Chan-hee, and Mom—the three of us. Before we left Chan-hee at my aunt's…"
I had always stayed with Mom, but Chan-hee hadn't. If anyone was more pitiful than me, forever reading the room for scraps of kindness, it was my little brother.
"When I graduate, I'm going to build the house our family will live in together. Safe and solid. That's my dream."
While you sleep, you are completely defenseless. More than once or twice I had jolted awake at dawn to the sound of someone hammering the door as if they meant to break it down.
That was why Chairman Kwon's mansion felt good. At least in that house nothing like that ever happened. Dad could never find us there.
I had always wanted a space where Mom and I could feel safe. I wanted a house like that. So choosing architecture hadn't been a decision so much as fate.
Even after hearing my confession, Kwon Hyun-jin stayed completely silent. As if the only destiny assigned to him was tying my sneaker laces, he poured every ounce of focus into that alone.
"Kwon Hyun-jin. Do you have a dream too?"
"Is there anyone who doesn't?"
Plenty of people had no dreams. For some, even having one was a luxury.
"You'll be able to have everything you want, do everything you want… I want to go to London too."
"…"
"Live somewhere cool like you, study… Mom and I have never even taken a single trip inside the country. Funny, right?"
It wasn't funny material, yet I said it and giggled to myself.
"Kwon Hyun-jin, what's your dream?"
"Dad."
"Dad…?"
President Kwon Jung-moo? Was his dream to become the head of Kwonjin Electronics like his father?
I had just managed to understand it that way when Kwon Hyun-jin glanced up.
"I said my dream is dad. Becoming a dad as soon as possible."
His dream was… to be a dad?
It was even more absurd than Kim Chang-jin writing "full-time househusband" as his future career. When I stayed silent, he explained as if the delay frustrated him.
"If I become a dad, there'll be a kid, right? And a wife."
"Yeah."
"That's it."
"…"
Kwon Hyun-jin, who claimed he didn't know loneliness—yet his dream was to have a family. It felt like being struck in the back of the head out of nowhere.
It couldn't have been more ironic. Kwon Hyun-jin already had more than enough of everything, while for me family was everything I possessed.
That he and I lived wishing for the very things the other took for granted was both funny and unbearably sad.
As if he had no intention of elaborating further, Kwon Hyun-jin simply concentrated on tightening my laces.
Just then, the Moonlight Rainbow Fountain unfolding behind his back reached its climax.
Moonlight rainbow.
It was as beautiful as its name. Seizing the moment, I lost myself completely, staring at the spectacle.
"It's really so pretty…"
The night view of the Han River, the winter night, the glittering city that never slept across the water—all of it before my eyes.
No…
Kwon Hyun-jin standing in the Moonlight Plaza was what was beautiful.
That boy who devoted himself to me so carefully, so earnestly.
The dazzling scene before me faded into a mere prism of light, because for me Kwon Hyun-jin was overwhelming.
"Lee Na-hee, does it hurt? Did I tie it too tight?"
He told me to try standing up and lifted his head. The motion looked slow, as if caught in slow motion.
I want to steal him. That boy.
A deep thudding sound rang through my entire body. As if under some spell, I could not hold back the fierce impulse. I bent down.
My beer-damp lips brushed, soft and brief, against Kwon Hyun-jin's smooth, cold cheek, then pulled away.
"…"
Our startled gazes locked at close range.
Seeing Kwon Hyun-jin frozen solid like ice snapped me fully awake.
Clear brown irises, black pupils. My own pale face reflected in them looked just as shocked.
You've really lost it, Lee Na-hee. What did you just do? It had been pure instinct, something beyond reason that I hadn't even known I was doing.
Completely stunned, he stared only at me, as if he had forgotten how to breathe.
"So… sorry…"
The moment the apology left me like a groan—
A strong hand yanked the back of my neck. Hot breath dug beneath my jaw.
Kwon Hyun-jin lunged at me like a wild beast. The explosive force of it left me no choice but to flinch.
I shrank in like a turtle and barely, with difficulty, pushed against his solid shoulders and the plane of his chest.
It was less my strength than the fact that he understood the refusal and let himself be pushed back.
"Why…"
Swallowing a hot breath, Kwon Hyun-jin spoke. His eyes, sunk in sticky darkness, followed me with raw hunger.
"You don't like it?"
"This… we shouldn't."
"Why not."
The immediate counter-question made his eyes flash like the serpent tempting Eve.
Only moments ago he had been the boy kindly tying my sneaker laces. Now it felt as if a wicked devil had taken up residence inside him.
"Because of course… we can't."
"Why 'of course'? You're an adult now, Lee Na-hee."
"You're still a minor…"