The Butterfly That Swallowed the Fog
The memories after that moment were sparse, fractured like old photographs left in the rain.
I couldn’t tell whether the gaps were the product of the drug, or the deliberate fog my own mind had been trying to thicken. All I knew was the ache in my eyes from crying so hard I’d almost passed out.
Then there was the memory of Elex, his ears long and wet, licking them in an attempt to soothe me while I gasped through the wave of pleasure I couldn’t endure.
“You did whatever you wanted, didn’t you?” His voice had been low, rough, and then he’d bitten the damp shell of my ear.
“You didn’t know? You look like you’d enjoy it if someone chewed on your ears.”
He sounded like a cannibal in that moment, and I realized it was probably what I’d said out loud. The thought hit me and I felt his laugh vibrate against my neck.
“Don’t laugh,” I snapped, trying to shove him away.
But he only pressed his lips to the corner of my eye, and even when I pushed at his chest he kept coming, until I ended up pulling him closer instead.
Yes… that had happened. I remembered it now, faintly.
With a blink, Tilia lay sprawled across the vast bed, slowly opening her eyes. The body that had been addicted to forces too powerful to handle was finally returning to its normal state.
Her sanity was returning, and with it the first hazy impressions of reality.
She’d committed something unforgivable. The realization hit her and her gaze snapped to the grandfather clock on the wall.
The hour and minute hands both pointed to 3:10. Tilia’s blurry eyes blinked once, twice, then jerked wide.
“Why are you—?”
A low voice answered from right behind her, inches from her ear.
“Still hurting?”
Elex was still wrapped around her entire body, face buried in her long black hair, and the warmth in his voice was nothing like the one she’d heard at noon.
“No… it’s still not quieting down…”
“The exam.”
The words barely registered. The moment her mind cleared, Tilia’s first conscious thought was a single sentence.
Exam.
She had to take the Graduation Exam.
Tilia shoved his arm off her chest and sat up, wincing.
“We have to leave now. Ten minutes.”
“What?”
“The exam. Hurry…!”
She was already turning when she caught sight of Elex over her shoulder. Her face twisted with irritation at the sight of him lounging there with that cold stare.
Elex lowered the leg he’d been propped on, expression unreadable.
“You brat.”
She glared at him once more, then slid off the bed.
Or tried to. A sharp sting in her hip stopped her mid-motion.
“Ugh.”
She realized her legs had no strength left in them. Every muscle in her body felt like it had been beaten and then stretched too far. They ached, they protested, they were so tight it was almost embarrassing.
Stupidly, she collapsed back onto the bed, over-dramatically, and let out an exaggerated groan.
“You’re going to the exam?” Elex’s voice carried the sound of him pushing himself up.
“Yes. I have to graduate.”
Tilia gripped the floor with both hands and shouted, voice sharp with frustration.
“You’re not going?”
Her entire body was trembling and useless, yet he was standing perfectly fine on two strong legs. Something hot and ugly flared in her chest.
“You’re not going to graduate? There are only ten minutes left!”
Even as she shouted the words, her lower body refused to obey. Her thighs quivered so violently she could see the imprint of his fingers.
Her resentment deepened. But she gritted her teeth and finally rose to her feet.
She couldn’t abandon graduation because of a little pain. She’d studied through her father beating her with a cane. She wasn’t going to break now.
It’s fine. I just need to put on some clothes and leave.
Tilia was reaching for the wall with her trembling arm when something soft plopped at her feet.
“Put it on.”
The neatly folded uniform lay beside her—the one she’d meant to bring from the bathroom.
While Tilia was still sitting there, Elex, now wearing his robe, asked idly, “Want me to help?”
Tilia didn’t answer. She simply reached out and took the clothes.
The fabric was slightly… much more than slightly… disheveled, but she didn’t care at that moment.
Her thighs pulled tight. She swayed once, twice. Elex didn’t stop her.
I should take the shortcut through the side path. It’ll get me to the main building in minutes…
Tilia’s mind was already mapping the shortest route to the exam hall.
If I go the back way, I can make it in under five minutes. The exam starts at 3:10 because of roll call. That’s plenty of time.
She quickly dressed and turned to check on him.
Elex was still only wearing the robe.
Still playing lazy, huh?
She looked at him with mild disdain, then realized the direction of his gaze—right at the bed they’d just left—and raised an eyebrow.
Ah.
Only then did she understand why her legs had been shaking so badly.
Right. It was my first time.
Tilia slid the last sleeve of her jacket over her arm and thought, He probably wasn’t just staring at the sheets. There must be blood on them somewhere.
Lucky I don’t bleed easily.
She tucked her long hair behind her ear and watched Elex with a flat expression.
Sunlight slanted across his cheek, turning the sheets he was staring at like they were some ancient ruin into something almost reverent.
What are you thinking about?
Tilia buttoned the last button and tried to imagine his mood.
A woman who had acted like a worn-out person… had actually been a virgin.
Was it just an illusion, or…
Was he in love with me?
The sudden fear that the thought might be too much made her chest tighten.
Please don’t tell me you didn’t know it was my first time. Don’t say you’ll take responsibility for it. Please don’t.
Trembling from the sudden dread, Tilia shook her head hard.
Aah. No way.
Elex Davenport was the kind of man who didn’t cling to women like that.
The Elex Davenport who never stopped any woman who came or went wasn’t the type to do something so desperate.
Still…
Even as she remembered his grand reputation, her eyes narrowed.
His expression was far too serious for casual curiosity.
“That…”
Unable to hold back her unease any longer, Tilia spoke to the sharp line of his profile.
“You’re not wearing clothes?”
His head finally turned.
But those deep, misty gray-blue eyes were as unreadable as ever.
What?
For a moment the confusion in his gaze felt too direct, too intense. It irritated her.
Why are you coming closer?
Tilia instinctively stepped back when he surged toward her.
The faint scent of wildness still clung to the white robe he wore like it was a second skin.
His hair was messy, his usual lazy expression gone, replaced by something sharp and dangerous that awakened every instinct she’d been trained to feel.
Without realizing it, Tilia tucked her fists behind her back. Her lips went dry. Her heart hammered against her ribs.
When he got even closer, she was going to punch him right in that smug face.
Elex’s fixed gray-blue eyes slid smoothly past her and kept going.
He wasn’t looking at her at all.
His destination was the bathroom. He walked right past her, stopped at the open collar of his shirt, and stared down at the unbuttoned garment with a complicated expression.
What?
Tilia let out a tiny, helpless sigh.
So he was just going to put on clothes?
The sigh brought a rush of relief so sudden it almost made her laugh at her own paranoia.
“Tilia Ambrose.”
Elex closed the distance again.
He moved in a blur of long legs until he stood right in front of her, holding out a small brown bottle.
“Drink this before you go.”
What is this?
Tilia eyed the bottle with suspicion, then looked back up at his face. It had gone back to its usual hardness, the same as when he’d been chewing on his own hair earlier. The contrast was almost unbelievable.
“A mysterious bottle. Disgusting.”
Tilia stared at the bottle, then spoke again.
“What is this?”
“Medicine. I should have given it to you the second I saw you, but I couldn’t. Drink it now.”
“You meant to give it to me the second you saw me? What the hell is in it…?”
Ah.
Tilia’s expression softened, the doubt finally cracking.
Oh… what was I thinking?
“Birth control pills?”
Tilia gave a short laugh and took the bottle from his hand.