I Wanted to Believe You Were Kind

What does that child want to say to me.

...No. I'm the one who has something to say.

I want to tell her that I've decided to stay. That the path I was about to return to — the path she told me to run from — wasn't made as an escape for when things get hard. So I'm sorry, but I can't take her advice.

And so I resent her... and I'm sincerely grateful.

Lee-won closed his eyes and answered briefly.

"I'll come see you at the hospital first thing tomorrow."

Oh, my God. What is this!

When Lee-won stepped into the hospital room, the shock hit him like a lightning strike. Woo-yeon's arms and legs were bruised so black he could barely stand to look at them, and her left arm was even in a cast. And yet Woo-yeon laughed, saying it was lucky her dad had mixed up left and right.

But Lee-won couldn't laugh along. His throat locked up; the corners of his lips twisted. Being able to empathize with someone else's pain had become too agonizing. She ducked her head, trying to hide her bruised face behind her hair, and mumbled.

"Mister, I'm sorry. I-I never meant to give Dad your phone number. I didn't mean to bother you..."

"Bother me? I clearly told you to call me right away if anything happened."

Lee-won broke off mid-sentence and bit his lip until it bled.

This is my fault. I never imagined I'd learn how foolish my way of helping had been in a manner like this.

Back then I recognized that I ought to help that child, but I failed to consider that I also needed to keep her safe. I should have anticipated that she'd go home and run headlong into a helpless situation, and planned accordingly.

Instead of handing her five million won like some act of charity, if I'd reported it to the police and contacted the university so the money could be delivered as a designated scholarship, there wouldn't have been any problem. Then she wouldn't have been beaten this horribly, and she could have safely left home when the new semester started.

I was just exhausted at the time, and I wanted an easy solution right then and there. Or maybe I wanted to leave an impressive memory on this child while making the most advantageous kind of investment.

"You don't have to apologize to me. Nothing happened to me. I'm fine."

"Fine? How are you fine! You got taken in by the police too! You think I don't know?"

Woo-yeon's voice rose, thick with tears. Lee-won tilted his head.

"I've never been arrested..."

"Don't lie! Mom left it all in her texts. She said she saw you getting questioned in a corner of the police station! The officer looked furious, and you just sat there without saying a word! Mom said, see, he won't answer because he's guilty — if you hold out like that with the cops you'll rot in a cell for a thousand years..."

Woo-yeon covered her face with both hands and began to cry. Lee-won scrambled to explain.

"No, that's not it. I wasn't arrested — I followed because I was worried. Really. I explained everything thoroughly, and it ended without any trouble. I was just waiting so I could have a lawyer present."

The crying stopped. When the child slowly lifted her head, her mottled, bruised face appeared through the scattered strands of hair. Those pitch-black eyes, submerged in salt water, blinked.

"Even if the police ask, you don't have to answer? Then you don't go to jail?"

"If you don't want to, you don't have to. The right to remain silent — anyway, legally there's no problem."

"Mister, did you hire a lawyer too? Because of me? I heard hiring a lawyer costs a ton of money — like millions of won?"

Her voice was frantic. Where did she even hear that. Don't tell me she's going to say she'll pay that back too. Lee-won hastily covered.

"...No, the lawyer is, um, well — a friend of my father's. Money... you don't need to worry about that."

"Really? So it didn't cost you anything?"

Lee-won felt more awkward than when he'd been questioned by the police, but he quietly nodded. Of course Director Park's going rate wasn't in the mere millions, and this wasn't the kind of world where "he's a friend's son, so it's free" worked — but since the company paid his salary, saying it didn't cost Mister anything wasn't exactly wrong.

"You're really not going to jail, right? You're okay?"

Only after Woo-yeon confirmed it again in a trembling voice did she let out a sigh of relief and wipe her tears with the back of her hand.

Social Worker Shin sat beside her and patted her back.

"Woo-yeon, I think you'll need to be discharged from the hospital today, and leave the shelter as well. Since your father knows where the shelter is, there's no telling when he might show up again..."

Here it comes. She'd braced herself, but her mind went cold.

"Ms. Shin, then where do I go now? Can I go to another shelter?"

"Not another shelter — actually, there's something I need to discuss with you about this..."

The social worker smiled faintly and drew out the end of her sentence.

Fear surged through her. W-wait — is she going to tell me to stay home until the semester starts? What if the social worker managed to talk Dad around somehow, and she's about to say it's okay to go back? Come to think of it, I'd heard that most kids who come to temporary shelters end up returning to their families.

Woo-yeon shook off Social Worker Shin's hand and scooted back into the corner of the bed.

"D-do I have to go back home again?"

"Woo-yeon. Just a moment..."

"I don't want to go. This time Dad really won't let it go. Mom ran away once too and they dragged her back from a bathhouse in Gangwon Province with her bones shattered. She crawled around with a urine bag for over a week. If I go back I'm done for. This time he might actually cut my wrists. Ugh, damn..."

"Good God. Woo-yeon, wait — wait a second."

The man standing behind clenched his fist tightly. The social worker hurriedly shook her head.

"No, Woo-yeon. That's not it. A company contacted us this morning saying they've decided to sponsor you for four years."

"What?"

Woo-yeon listened to the social worker's explanation with her mouth hanging open. That company she didn't even know would cover her tuition, dorm fees, meal costs, art supplies, and even personal living expenses until she graduated from university — and if needed, they'd cover the full cost of psychological treatment as well. And that wasn't all.

"And until you move into the dorm, you can stay at a scholarship residence the company runs. They said there are empty rooms since it's spring break before the new semester. Security guards are stationed there around the clock, so there's nothing to worry about."

Something felt off. Woo-yeon stared blankly at the social worker with tear-brimmed eyes.

Is this a dream, or a lie.

Ever since Mapo Bridge, unbelievable — no, incomprehensible — things seemed to keep happening. It didn't feel real, so the gratitude came slowly too. Woo-yeon asked in a dazed voice.

"...Why? Why would that company do something so weird?"

The answer didn't come right away, and Woo-yeon's voice grew a little louder.

"That company isn't digging money out of the ground to do this. They're not collecting taxes to do this. They're spending money from their own wallets. So why do something so weird?"

The reason she was curious was because of the man standing behind her. Whether it was a person or a company, she wanted to know the reason someone would try to help a complete stranger for nothing — the identity of that incomprehensible kindness.

Instead of answering, the social worker only glanced behind her with a peculiar expression. Was she asking Mister to answer for her? Why?

He cleared his throat a couple of times, then began answering in a reluctant voice.

"Well... There are various reasons for a company's welfare programs. It could be an advance investment in talent they want, or for tax reduction purposes..."

And?

"There could also be the goal of long-term coexistence with employees or the local community..."

His voice grew quieter and quieter.

"...And they'd also factor in the boost to the company's image..."

The longer the explanation went on, the more wretched Woo-yeon felt. This wasn't the kind of answer she'd been hoping for.

"Mister... can't you just say you helped because you wanted to help?"

He stopped talking and looked down at Woo-yeon steadily. Somehow it felt like he was asking why?, so Woo-yeon instinctively hunched her shoulders and answered in a small voice.

"Because I want to believe you helped with a pure, kind heart, like you. Because I want to be grateful for a long, long time — so, so much..."

His brow furrowed deeply. Woo-yeon couldn't understand why he made that face. After a thin sigh, a reluctant voice drifted out.

"What should I do. I'm not as pure and kind as you think, Jin Woo-yeon."

Th-that's ridiculous! Her voice shot up on its own.

"Everyone's so freaking ridiculous. Good people think they're bad, and bad people think they're good. Dad beats Mom because he's so kind that his wife disrespects him, and Mom beats me because she's so kind that she takes the hits and even her daughter disrespects her. And the person who saved me and helped me just sits there putting himself down saying he's not kind."

"Whether someone's a good person or not — that's not something you can judge so simply."

"What's hard about it. Hurting other people is being a rotten bastard, and making other people happy is being good. The world turned into a mess because people overcomplicate that simple thing. Just look at the kids who bully their friends for fun. Those kids — do you know how good they are at acting nice, acting pitiful?"

Instead of scolding Woo-yeon for her sharp retort, Lee-won gave her a faint smile. This child who had been so cowed, who watched everyone's face so carefully every time she spoke, was revealing her heart so freshly and honestly in front of him — and he found that admirable.

Even if her reaction was sharp-edged and unpolished, that wasn't bad either. Better this than wounds festering inside until they destroyed her personality. He'd heard that exposed wounds are easier to treat than hidden ones.