Why I Learned to Butcher

If you asked why on earth he'd ever learned how to butcher—

"I knew a guy in Majang-dong."

"Kkureureu?"

"After a few rounds of drinks, he taught me some techniques."

In truth, he had never dismantled a complete beast. The man had always insisted that knife work wasn't something you entrusted to just anyone, so all he'd shown Ji-oh was how to break large cuts of raw meat into sections—just in case he ever bought a big piece for home use.

Meaning Ji-oh had never properly butchered anything himself.

"But even if I've never done it myself, I know the whole method."

Ji-oh had always been a quick study.

"Body's not cold, so it hasn't been dead long. Feels like a warm stone."

"Kkureuk?"

"Because I have to drain the blood. Once too much time has passed after death, it's hard to get the blood out."

Blood from the forehead had already soaked deep into the ground, yet the deer's body remained soft and pliable. That made Ji-oh a little uneasy. This world, where food never spoiled or degraded easily, must have been at work somehow.

Right. "Food."

"...Well, a deer that's already dead does count as food, I suppose."

Especially since Ji-oh himself was about to butcher it.

Anyway, if the body hasn't stiffened, this'll be a lot easier.

After dragging the house-sized deer along, Ji-oh slung it over a dorongdorong tree of suitable height. Then he cut a hole in the neck so the blood could drain free.

"Honey."

"Kkung?"

"Dad's definitely evolved."

"Kkureureu."

"I figured I'd evolved into a portrait, but I never expected to get stronger too."

Hanging a deer larger than himself up in a tree without even breaking a sweat—he couldn't tell whether it was because the physical laws were looser inside the painted world, or because he himself had grown stronger.

"Well then, while the blood drains, let's get the guts out."

"Kkureureureureu."

"...Honey, do not sit under there drinking the blood. That's disgusting."

The sight of a tiny bird catching and guzzling the freely flowing blood was pure horror.

"Dad's creeped out."

"Kkung."

"I'm not lying."

Father-son trust levels were abysmally low.

"……."

Whatever. It was funny enough.

Better get the organs out before anything spoils.

By the rules of the painted world, spoilage seemed unlikely—but he still remembered how Mangdung Fruit left too long in the sun had hardened almost into ore. Better to handle what he could, when he could, rather than risk some new problem.

"Hide's thick."

There was a heavy layer of fat underneath, too.

"The system said this deer came from a rainforest, but rainforests are usually muggy, aren't they? I don't get why it'd have fur this thick and fat packed this dense."

"Kkureu."

"Stop drinking the blood, Honey. Dad said it's creepy."

"Kkungkkungkkung…."

"Being cute won't save you."

He had no intention of sleeping next to a bird that reeked of blood.

"Kkung."

Honey grumbled and fretted, then suddenly spat something out in a clattering cascade.

"……."

"Kkureureureureu."

"Gems…?"

They were the glittering stones Honey adored—but the fact that the little bird, which had turned bright red, regained its original color the moment it regurgitated the crimson gems did not look like coincidence.

"Did you turn the blood into gems?"

"Kkureuk."

"As expected of my son. You're no ordinary bird."

Ji-oh decided to stop thinking about it.

"Mind if Dad paints with those later?"

"Kkureureureureu!"

"Thanks for the permission. Drink as much as you want—I won't say a word."

"Kkureuk!"

"You had a plan all along, huh."

Drinking the blood of a hunted animal might not be all that strange. Ji-oh, being human, had thought what the hell is that, but Honey was still a bird. Having animal instincts was only natural in a way.

As long as he can turn back to normal afterward, I really don't care.

Even if this was a child born of paint, suppressing animal instinct wasn't something a parent ought to do. As long as drinking a little deer blood didn't kill him, it was fine.

"I'm about to open the belly, so watch out for flying guts."

"Kkureu."

"Alright, let's see…."

Ji-oh focused sensation into his fingertips and felt along the deer's abdomen.

"I heard you're supposed to start cutting from the anus if you want it to open cleanly."

Beginning a knife stroke at the anus was a fairly brutal thought for a fellow living creature, but that was how the food chain worked.

"Up we go."

He had never sharpened the blade specially, yet it was so keen that the belly parted with ease.

When the hanging deer's abdomen opened and the organs came into view, Ji-oh spotted something strange.

"……?"

Why were there gems in here too?

Much bigger than the ones Honey spat out.

Judging by position, it sat roughly where the heart should be.

"...That's a little ridiculous, isn't it…?"

A gemstone heart. Common sense was taking a beating.

"How does something like this purify and produce blood?"

"Kkureureureureureuk."

"I'll check later whether it's safe and then give it to you. Get down."

Honey, who could never resist anything that sparkled, threw a fit—but Ji-oh shook his head. Even so, handing over a beast's organs felt a little too unsettling.

"Let's just finish the butchering."

He continued the cut from the anal region all the way up to the rib cage. First time doing this kind of work, yet mercifully he managed not to puncture any organs.

"The blood needs to drain properly too."

"Kkung?"

"If you don't get the blood out in time, it soaks straight into the meat. That spoils the texture and makes everything reek of blood… so if you can, you drain a beast right after you kill it."

He carefully removed the remaining organs without rupturing them.

"If they burst, it's a disaster."

He would see hell.

For the hide, you started at the hind legs where your hands could reach easily.

"There's so much fat I don't know if the hide will even be usable."

"Kkululu?"

"If you want to dry a hide enough to craft with, all this fat has to go. Still, the fur's pretty plush—make a cloak out of it and it'd come in handy even after I get back to reality."

"Kkung."

"I can't keep relying on you forever."

The day before their sightseeing trip, when Ji-oh had fretted over having no winter clothes and considered simply painting some, Honey had stepped in to help. Just carrying Honey kept his whole body warm, so separate winter gear hadn't been necessary.

But he couldn't do that every time.

"I should still tan the hide properly."

At any rate, getting a good amount of fat was a blessing.

"The meat smells pretty nice. Even the fat has a rich, savory scent. Don't throw fat like this away—render it and save it, then use it later for stir-fries. The flavor doubles."

"……."

"Eating the fat raw won't taste as good as you think it will."

Watching Honey stare hungrily at the fat made Ji-oh feel warmly fond. It was like looking in a mirror or flipping through an album. This was family. Honey had clearly inherited his father's bottomless appetite.

"Thinking of packing on a few more pounds while you're at it?"

"Kkung."

"Suit yourself."

The thick hide came away. Following the grain of the deer's muscle, he slowly stripped off its fur coat. Fortunately, for all its luxuriant hair, the hide itself wasn't especially tough, so the work went smoothly.

"Hind legs first… then the body…."

Starting at the bare bone of the hind legs—roughly the ankle on a human—he peeled the hide free. Next the torso, the forelegs, and finally he cut the remaining hide free along with the head, fully separating everything.

Amazingly, he made no mistakes, leaving the hide largely intact.

"Let's separate the fat on its own."

"Kkureureuk."

"...Just a taste."

Ji-oh granted permission to the fat-craving Honey, and under his father's leave Honey sampled the fat—only to thrash in misery.

"I told you it wouldn't taste good raw."

"Kku, kku… kkururu…."

"Trust Dad a little, okay? I'm an absolute genius at knowing what tastes bad."

"Kkurururururu…."

"You're crying over it?"

Shocked that something so fragrant could taste so bland, Honey sniffled in pure sorrow. Ji-oh stuffed the bird—still reeling from the culinary betrayal—into the hood of his cloak.

"Time for the real butchering."

Organs, hide, and fat all separated; now came the meat itself.

Just like the system said, the aroma's excellent.

Wild game was supposed to be tough and gamey, but this didn't seem that way at all.

As someone who genuinely enjoyed cooking, Ji-oh knew exactly what raw meat smelled like. Even the finest veal still carried that distinctive metallic blood scent.

This deer had none of that unpleasant odor.

"...Almost smells a bit like nuts."

Closer to walnut than peanut, if he had to say.

"Weird."

It was the first time in his life he'd ever smelled anything like that on meat, so he was briefly thrown—but it wasn't some bizarre mint-flavored-potato-chip situation. The scent was surprisingly harmonious, a novel pleasure.

"Other worlds really are other worlds."

"Kkureuk?"

Even ingredients that looked similar to Earth's still differed a little in aroma and taste.

"Honestly, I'm a bit disappointed the heart's a gem. Fresh heart is a pretty good ingredient when you're cooking—I was thinking of roasting it once… but in this state it's kind of iffy to eat."

"Kkureureureureureuk."

"Yeah, I might not manage it, but you probably can. Dad'll cook it for you."

It wouldn't taste like much as-is, after all.

"...There's more meat than I expected, though…."

He cut free the tenderloin buried deep along the spine, then broke down the legs and stripped the firm meat from the bone.

"Hmm."

This cut would need a long, slow braise. The upper leg meat, at least, looked tender enough to eat as-is.

Ribs, tenderloin—once he'd taken everything off….

"Ta-da."

"……."

"A mountain of meat has appeared."

"Kkung."

"Too much?"

"Kkureu."

"Thought so."

No wonder the system had told him to dry it into processed meat under the sun. With this much volume, most of it would be better salted or dried and stored.

"It won't spoil if I put it in the ice storage, but… still better to make what I can."

Jerky and sausage came to mind first.

"Jerky first."

Sausage took far longer, after all.

"Gotta soak out the remaining blood first."

"Kkureureuk?"

"Hanging it upside down doesn't get every last drop. We didn't leave it up that long either, so if we want to kill any gamey taste, we need to soak it and draw out what's left."

Ji-oh soon emerged from the cabin carrying a huge basin.

"Honey, load the meat."

"Kkureuk!"

Held hostage by the delicious gemstone heart, Honey made an excellent worker.

Together they packed the jerky cuts into the big basin and poured over a generous amount of water from the stream that meandered past the cabin. The brooks threading through the forest were useful in all sorts of ways.

"If I were making this on Earth I'd add a little rice wine here, but…."

The only alcohol he had was wine, and the meat barely had any off-flavors to begin with, so it was fine.

"While the blood soaks out, I'd better mix the marinade."

"Kkureuk?"

"The garden crops are all grown in—might as well put them to use, right?"

After washing even the blood from his hands, Ji-oh picked a few vegetables from the monster field and headed back into the cabin. Fortunately the monster field didn't take offense at him harvesting a few crops.

"It clearly recognizes who Dad is. Raising them with sunlight and water paid off."

Standing in the kitchen, Ji-oh took several powders down from the shelf.

"And let's use a little of the syrup too."

He also pulled out the Mangdung Fruit syrup he'd stashed in a kitchen corner—left over from the batch he'd made before giving some to Yu Seong-un.

"Adding syrup like this brings out the sweetness."

"Kkururu…."

"It might sound weird, but it's surprisingly good."

Sweet and salty was a universal truth wherever you went.

Ji-oh checked his ingredients.

"Fresh onions. With this much meat, about ten… garlic and ginger powder already here. A little sugar. A splash of Mangdung Fruit syrup should do it…."

Making jerky wasn't hard.

He finely minced the cleaned onions into a paste, then mixed in the various powders that would add heat and bite to cut any remaining gaminess. A little syrup for sweetness and a touch of sugar to erase any dull edge, and the jerky marinade was complete.

"Blood should be drawn out by now."

By the time he'd plated the marinade and washed the cutting board and knife, a fair amount of time had passed.

Watching the sky between the leaves already begin to darken, Ji-oh left the cabin. At night Honey glowed with a soft moonlight of his own, helping him keep his footing in the dark.

"Ah… this looks about right."

"Kkureureureu?"

"That's disgusting—it's just bloody water. I'll give you something else later."

He lifted the thoroughly soaked meat onto a tray and returned to the kitchen.

"I want to finish quick and sleep."

The rest was simple.

He shook off the excess water, and once the meat felt dry enough he worked the prepared marinade thoroughly into every piece. After leaving it so the seasoning could sink deep, he washed his hands.

"Done…."

"……."

"...Honey, why do you keep eyeing the organs?"

Even for his own son, some tastes defied understanding.

In the end the deer's organs were shared deliciously among Honey and his water-bird friends. A golden lake of water birds with bloodied entrails floating among them held something both mystical and grotesque.

"Ah—except this."

"Kkung."

"I'm making sausage."

(To be continued)