Undefinable Desire
“…….”
At first, he thought the reason heat rose the moment he looked at Yuju was simply that the lust he had stacked away layer by layer had finally been unsealed.
But it never happened with other women. The instant he saw Yuju, his body stirred at once.
He had fought so hard to look away. The desire that had refused to leave his head for days, the one that made him condemn himself, reared up again.
Was that why?
A single impulse.
A bad thing done because he was drunk.
In a flash Seo-won was seized by a feeling he could not name. Reaching his arm toward Yuju was something he did before he even knew it.
Thud.
His arm was caught and his whole body lurched. Yuju, who had been following his lead without thought, found her vision flip over.
She realized Seo-won had laid her down on the sofa. Danger flickered in his eyes as he pinned her beneath both arms and loosened his tie.
Complicated feelings or not, his body moved on its own. Right now Seo-won was nothing but desire.
Yet Yuju felt no urge to pull away. She only looked up at him quietly, as if she would accept whatever he did with quiet humility.
This was not duty.
Pity? Kinship, if not that?
Or some other emotion that went beyond him entirely?
Yuju could not define what she felt toward Seo-won. She had already decided they should become real husband and wife from now on, but she was not sure whether this was the right shape for that decision to take.
In this moment she simply wanted to hold him.
Ruled by that thought, Yuju stretched out both arms and pulled the far larger, far more formidable man into her embrace.
Yuju blinked hard against her hazy vision.
A wide bedroom filled with luxurious furniture. One thing that did not usually belong here had been added.
A solid back carved with muscle.
Broad shoulders that looked as if they would not budge even if several people hung from them.
And skin scored all over with scratches left from last night, as though someone had raked him like a cat.
“Ah.”
Finally understanding the situation, Yuju let out a soft sound. At the same time her face burned hot.
Unlike the last time, when he had already left for work by the time she woke, Seo-won was sleeping right beside her now.
The sight of him brought yesterday flooding back in vivid detail. Even the first time she had thought it extraordinary. Experiencing him again, though, he had shown her an entirely new side.
Back then he was holding back.
Because she kept hurting, knowing it was her first time, he had seemed to restrain himself as much as he could.
Yesterday he had been like a beast—nothing left but pure instinct craving its partner.
She was startled all over again that Seo-won could look like that. Led by his hands, Yuju had been pulled into dizzying peaks again and again. It was nothing she could honestly call unpleasant.
Thinking of the world she was about to experience made her heart race. The thought soon drifted elsewhere, though.
She swallowed dryly, still staring at the broad plane of his back.
When she had held him yesterday he had felt so solid. That memory struck her suddenly.
If I hug him, will he wake?
A little lewd devil inside her slowly lifted its head. Thanks to Seo-won she was discovering just how shameless she could be.
Entranced by the sight of his back, she could not resist the impulse any longer and wrapped her arms around him. When she squeezed those firm abs, the peaceful line of his shoulders twitched.
“What are you doing?”
Yuju flinched at the low voice above her head. Looking up, she found Seo-won staring down at her as if he could not believe what he was seeing, still half-asleep.
It had been the same the first night they spent together. She had thrown herself at him then, and today the same naughty urge had sprouted in an instant. He was the kind of man who made even a normally pure-hearted girl feel that way.
“Your back just looked so tempting….”
“What?”
At her half-mumbled confession Seo-won let out a bewildered laugh.
Yuju’s bright eyes were pure and innocent, completely unaware of what she was doing.
Still incredulous, he sighed, grabbed the robe lying carelessly on the bed, and held it out.
“Come out. Let’s eat.”
With those brief words he rose. Even in that short moment the sight of his back drew another admiring sound from her. The firm, beautiful body disappeared under the robe soon enough.
Seo-won looked at Yuju, who was smacking her lips in open regret, as if he truly could not understand her. Then he left the bedroom.
Even after he was gone she rolled around in the empty space that still held his scent, rubbing eyes stiff with fatigue, the memory of his body still lingering.
She used to think of him as simply handsome. It turned out Seo-won was a man who stirred up desires she had never known she possessed, in every possible way.
It was much later when Yuju finally left the bedroom.
She had not noticed while lying down. The moment she stood, her lower back felt ready to snap. The one mercy was that she needed no special preparation.
Somehow it had seemed strange that a robe was already waiting on the bed. While she slept he must have washed her; her whole body felt soft and clean.
After throwing on clothes roughly and reaching the kitchen, she found the staff already cooking. Seo-won sat at the table drinking coffee and reading documents.
The man who had been completely undone earlier was nowhere in sight; now he was neat, composed, perfect.
Admiring his face as if entranced, Yuju sat across from him naturally. The instant she did, one fact she had not managed to tell him yesterday suddenly rose to the surface.
“Ah. Oppa’s grandfather came to the school yesterday.”
Seo-won, who had been tilting his coffee cup, paused.
Is it because she’s young?
She could easily have kept it hidden. Yet without much thought she simply spilled what had happened while he was away.
Contrary to Seo-won’s habit of treating her like a child, though, Yuju had a reason for bringing it up.
“He gave me a card to use when I need it. It’s not like he told me to report on Oppa or anything. He even said I don’t have to go see him separately.”
She poured out words he had not asked for. Seo-won’s expression shifted in an instant, turning strangely complicated.
The reason he had chosen Yuju as his fake marriage partner was that she had been terrified after watching her brother’s forced marriage. She did not want to live a life of being forced either.
He himself had heard the rumors that Prosecutor Han Beom-su was searching for a husband for his daughter—including low-quality men who seemed to care only about their own gain and not a scrap about the girl’s happiness.
In every way they were a mutually useful pair. The most advantageous partner for dodging marriage.
On top of that she was so naive and clumsy that even if Grandfather’s reach extended, she would not be able to betray him. And if she did, he was certain he would catch the signs quickly.
But…
Maybe this one is even more skilled than most spies.
The thought struck him suddenly. She was looking at him with pure innocence, yet somehow it felt as if less-than-innocent calculations lay beneath.
“Is it all right to tell me everything like that?”
“Objectively speaking, the person who benefits me is Oppa, right?”
At her frank answer Seo-won chuckled again.
Only for a moment, though. He began to consider a reply to the question he had just heard from her.
Tap. Tap.
He drummed his fingers on the table. Watching him sink into serious thought about how to navigate the situation, Yuju tensed along with him.
How much time passed that way? At last finishing his deliberations, Seo-won found a new card and held it out to her.
“Use it whenever you need something. This one’s for cash—just withdraw what you want. The password is 1212. You used to get allowance from Tae-ju, didn’t you?”
“Yes. Because Oppa wouldn’t let me get a part-time job….”
Probably because he wanted her to enjoy university life. He himself had never been able to.
Seo-won had already guessed as much, but it really did seem Tae-ju doted on his little sister. All while grinding away at work that did not even suit his soft nature.
Of course there was pressure from Prosecutor Han Beom-su, yet beyond that it looked as if he threw himself into the job even harder just to protect her.
The thought drew a sigh from Seo-won. What he had done last night to his friend’s precious little sister rose in his mind. Guilt that reared its head at the slightest opportunity.
Now was not the time to sit around blaming himself, though.