Firelight Confessions

The beer can she had stolen from Je-yoon hit the floor with a dull clink. It had fulfilled its duty of quenching a rising thirst and now sat empty.

Yeon-ha made no effort to hide her flustered expression.

"We're living under the same roof anyway. Is it really so bad if I sleep here?"

"I don't have a change of clothes."

"You probably won't even catch a taxi. You saw it on the way here — there weren't that many cars even in the daytime."

"……."

"If you really want to go, just say so. If we walk out far enough, we might run into one."

Je-yoon reached for his hooded zip-up. While the two of them bickered, dusk had settled in. Watching his back with growing unease, Yeon-ha hurried over and caught his hand.

"Never mind. I want to see the night ocean, too. Let's just stay here tonight."

At that, Je-yoon adjusted his grip on her hand and sat her down on the cushioned beach bed. Then he pulled the hoodie over her and zipped it all the way up with a smooth tug.

"Want another beer?"

Yeon-ha gave a short nod. She pulled her hands free of the zip-up, which was big enough to swallow two of her whole. Je-yoon's brow furrowed at once.

"It's still chilly."

He tugged the sleeves back down, pressed a beer can into her hand, and walked off somewhere. A moment later he returned with gloves, a torch, and a net of firewood slung over his shoulder.

Yeon-ha, mid-swallow, snorted and sprayed beer.

"What?"

"No — nothing."

She wiped her mouth on the sleeve and laughed under her breath. She had been huddling against the growing cold, but Je-yoon was still in nothing but a white short-sleeved shirt. Muscle flexed hard beneath the sleeves. Watching him carry the firewood with his arms working, she thought he looked exactly like some old-fashioned farmhand named Dolsoe.

Dolsoe.

A title that did not suit him in the slightest. Yeon-ha patted her own cheeks, trying to stop laughing.

Crackling, the fire leapt from the kindling and rose. Through the flames, Je-yoon caught sight of Yeon-ha buried in his clothes and let out a quiet snort of amusement.

Once the warmth began to pool around them, Yeon-ha left the bed and came to stand beside him. She spread her hands wide and held them to the heat.

"I should've bought some fireworks."

Je-yoon took a sip of beer and watched her.

"Like when we were kids? Whenever we went to the Namhae villa, Uncle always set off fireworks for us."

It had been the place Go Eun-jung had taken her, with Jang Eun-ju's permission, after Vice Chairman Song Seung-hyun's death — saying he wanted to see Yeon-ha smile again. It had been Song Seung-hyun's favorite place in the world, and the place Yeon-ha had visited often as a child.

Your dad is sparkling up there in the sky. Look — blink, blink. Those are your father's eyes watching over you. Should we tell him with fireworks that Yeon-ha is right here?

The old memory warmed her chest. Because of Eun-jung and Je-yoon, her life had held more things worth remembering — and more change. What would it have been like without the two of them? She could not even imagine it.

Even now, Je-yoon was blocking the wind that came from behind with his own body. He looked as if he were simply standing there, but if you paid attention to the space around them, you could tell.

Something inside her chest stirred, hot and restless, like the wavering flames. Don't get fluttery. Don't mix up gratitude with that kind of thrill.

Yeon-ha hunched her shoulders a little. At once Je-yoon reached out and fed another log into the fire. Looking after her had simply become second nature to him.

"You're not cold, right?"

"You're cold too, aren't you? Take this."

She yanked the zipper down in a hurry. Before Je-yoon could stop her she had stripped the hoodie off and held it out to him.

"Put it on. Don't catch a cold."

Dark eyes looked down at her. Je-yoon glanced at the hand she had extended, then took the zip-up.

"Noona?"

"There's probably a blanket inside. I'll go get it."

The problem was that she had not packed a coat, thinking they would only eat and come right back in the afternoon.

"There isn't one. I checked before we came out earlier."

Je-yoon said it as he shrugged into the hoodie.

"Then let's just stay a little longer and go in—"

Suddenly Yeon-ha's vision went dark.

"Like this."

Je-yoon pulled her into his arms and dragged the zipper of the hoodie all the way up. Completely trapped against his chest, Yeon-ha tipped her head back to look at him. Je-yoon looked down at her with the tips of his ears faintly red.

"Go Je-yoon."

He cocked an eyebrow as if to say, Go on.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm just too lazy to deal with it."

"Stop joking around."

Yeon-ha wriggled the arms that had been folded awkwardly inside the shared fabric. The arm that had been trapped between their chests slipped free downward — and bumped into something.

Je-yoon gave no reaction, but Yeon-ha flinched hard, eyes going wide. Something that had bounced with real weight… something that, unless he had grown a third leg, could only be one part of the male anatomy she knew of, sitting roughly near her navel.

"Which is why you should just stay still."

"W-what do you mean, which is why—"

Flustered into a stammer, Yeon-ha went rigid. The one who had actually been touched seemed fine; her own reaction was the overblown one.

Act composed.

She twisted around so that they were no longer face-to-face. Back against chest would be better, she decided — and the moment she thought it, she became aware of it all over again. They were not even touching, and still a shiver ran down her spine.

"Never mind. The firewood's almost gone. Let's go in."

Je-yoon unzipped. A whole mountain of logs sat piled to the side, but Yeon-ha nodded quickly and vanished inside.

The second she entered the private cabin she headed for the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her burning face and looked in the mirror.

The flush would not fade. Feeling hot and stifled, she peeled off her knit and came out in the short-sleeved shirt she had worn underneath, then surveyed the living room.

She needed something to shift the mood. Under the TV shelf sat a variety of board games. A drinking game — someone passing out first — sounded like the safer option.

While she chose a game, Je-yoon brought over fruit and beer and set them on the table.

"If nothing looks good, want to just watch TV?"

"No."

Yeon-ha pulled out the one that had caught her eye. She had chosen carefully among the many options. Jenga was out — they were both too competitive. Monkey games took too long. Halli Galli would be noisy and leave her palms sore. Which left…

"Spin, spin, spinner?"

Je-yoon turned the box over front and back, tilting his head. Yeon-ha snatched it, opened the box, and took out a round board and pizza-slice-shaped cards. That was the entire set.

"Looks like there are questions written on the backs of the cards."

The wheel could hold eight card wedges. When the pointer landed, you pulled that card from its slot, checked it, and answered.

"…This is what you wanted to play?"

Je-yoon hesitated for a beat, but Yeon-ha did not notice.

"Yeah."

She answered firmly, looked around, and headed for the fridge. Among the complimentary liquor provided by the place was vodka. She brought it back, sat on the floor with her back against the sofa, and Je-yoon settled beside her.

"Vodka? Not even soju?"

Avoiding the question, Yeon-ha poured vodka into a beer glass.

"Spin it."

At her command, Je-yoon put force into his fingertips and spun the wheel.

"……."

Reading the words on the card, Yeon-ha lost her voice.

If I'd known it was this kind of question, I never would have. Filthy.

She stared blankly at the glass, a third full of vodka.

"What? What does it say? You agreed to answer first, Noona."

"…Let's not do this."

Yeon-ha reached to collect the wheel, but Je-yoon was faster. He snatched the card from her hand as well.

"What's the big deal? So far, how many peop— sex…"

The words of the man who had been laughing cut off cold. Yeon-ha buried her face in her palms. Je-yoon seemed startled too; he made no sound. Only awkward breathing filled the space.

"Hm."

At Je-yoon's short hum, Yeon-ha carefully lifted her head.

"So? Your answer?"

"What?"

"It's a game."

His deadpan reaction only made her more embarrassed. Afraid that reacting too sensitively would make her look strange, she raised her chin.

"I don't care either way. I was only trying to spare you the awkwardness."

It was not like her usual self. The honest admission that she was too embarrassed and cornered to answer would not come out. And she was curious what the other questions might be if they got past this one.

Next turn was Je-yoon's.

He had said before that there was a woman who would become his girlfriend. Wouldn't this be a chance to ask who?

If she said outright that she was curious, he might ask why — and she would not know how to answer that. So she had hesitated over the question.

Jealousy? Maybe it was jealousy.

Or maybe, using the game as an excuse, she simply wanted to know Go Je-yoon the man — not Go Je-yoon the little brother.

"I'm fine with it."

"Yeah? Then we just do it?"

"Play for fun. We don't even know what the other questions are."

To hide the rapid hammering of her pulse, Yeon-ha deliberately narrowed her eyes and shot him a look.

"Answer."

"I… haven't…"

With Kevin she had never kissed, never had sex. Only once — not long after they were married. Yeon-ha had not been feeling well that night, and after a couples' gathering where she had gotten drunk, Kevin had gotten carried away on his own.

The moment they entered the hotel room he had dragged her onto the bed. He had lightly sucked at her neck and slipped a hand under the long evening dress to fumble lower. Yeon-ha had resisted, but Kevin's physique was nearly as solid as Je-yoon's.

Ignoring the ringing phone, he had felt along her back and pulled the zipper down. He had seemed not to hear her telling him to stop, stop. When the zipper would not go easily he abandoned it and tore the thin shoulder strap instead.

Clutching the ripped strap and the fabric at her chest, Yeon-ha had shouted at him — what the hell did he think he was doing — and just then a company security crisis had broken, forcing an emergency board meeting.

If Kevin's secretary had not knocked on the door…

After that, Yeon-ha had never touched alcohol again.

Tonight she was drinking with Je-yoon for the first time in three years, and she did not mind it. She even felt a little pleasantly buzzed. Still, she cleared her throat so it would not show.

"I never counted."

"What did you say?"

She looked straight into Je-yoon's eyes as she spoke.

"There was no need to count. Not back then."