Christmas Eve
I've always dreamed of this. Waking up together after sex, eyes meeting, sharing those precious moments. Until now, Choi Hyun-seo had never stuck around. The moment he finished, he was gone. And after that, an indescribable emptiness would wrap around Tae-yeon.
The hollow ache in her chest. The emptiness that the harsh wind of unrequited love had carved into her very soul. Yet now, after the passionate night, with his gaze locked on hers, everything felt infinitely warm.
When Tae-yeon opened her mouth to speak, Hyun-seo positioned himself between her thighs.
“Again?”
“Of course. Have I ever been satisfied with just one time?”
Was that look they had shared the silent signal to do it again?
“Manager, but…”
Her lips froze. The body that had softened from their earlier intimacy welcomed his once more. His hunger plunged deeper, filling her completely. Their bodies collided with a rhythm that burned unbearably hot.
Tae-yeon wrapped her legs around his waist and crossed them, sealing every inch of their skin together. As their tongues finally parted, the two pairs of eyes that sparkled with desire gazed straight into hers.
Tae-yeon held Hyun-seo's stare. The reflection of herself in his pupils was achingly sensual. She poured every fervent wish into those eyes.
She wanted to fill that endless void in her heart with his. The long, aching love she had once felt now reached out to claim his very soul. Just being beside him wasn’t enough anymore. He needed her attention and her love.
At the peak of pleasure, Tae-yeon closed her eyes. The sensation of soaring high before plunging into darkness. All strength drained from her body, she grew languid as a firm arm cradled her gently.
Fingers stroked her hair, lips brushed her forehead. The touch was sweet, soft, warm—indescribably comforting. And with that warmth, she fell asleep. Even in her dreams, his hand kept her close, pouring rich satisfaction straight into her heart.
Like being held in her mother’s arms as a child, like being held by her father. The perfect happiness she had forgotten came rushing back, and Tae-yeon sank into a deep, peaceful sleep.
When she woke again, she was alone on the bed.
Did I really sleep here all night?
What time is it? It was quite late. Of course. She had taken medicine, made love, and fallen asleep. It was almost time for Yoon-woo’s milk. Tae-yeon hurried through her shower, wrapped her hair in a bathrobe, and stepped into the dressing room. Then she remembered.
Right.
She had completely forgotten to open the box from last night. Tae-yeon immediately pulled open the closet door and thrust her hand deep inside the section where Hyun-seo’s suits hung. She swept her arm along the hidden shelf. Nothing. No box.
Strange.
Tae-yeon pushed the suits aside and searched the entire depth of the closet. The box she remembered placing there yesterday was gone.
I wasn’t dreaming… was I?
There had definitely been a box. Inside it was a note and a small frame. Yet no matter how she looked, the box had vanished as if it had never existed.
Maybe he took it? I pushed it in so deeply he shouldn’t have noticed. Today he was supposed to pick out a suit for work and leave…
Disappointing. Then why did she feel guilty?
“What am I doing? A detective? What am I supposed to find out about him?”
Stupid. Love was stupid. She had wanted even a tiny glimpse into the man she loved, to know the parts of him she couldn’t see.
“Yeah, right. If I already know every spot on his body, what else is there to discover?”
She knew where the spots were, but she didn’t know how he had grown up, what thoughts he carried. She didn’t know why Yoon-woo’s mother had never married, why she had left their son behind, or the nature of their relationship.
Hyun-seo had never mentioned a woman to her, and his family had shown no hint of one. She had been dying to know those things, yet he never spoke a word.
Tae-yeon plopped down in front of the vanity and stared at the December calendar.
December. Christmas was almost here. Another year had flown by. This year had been so full—becoming Hyun-seo’s wife, giving birth to a child.
“Yeah. Yoon-woo is my baby. The child born into this world without a mother.”
She had fed him even when her own body was empty. That love was real—for Yoon-woo at least.
“So Yoon-woo is my child. No matter what else, that much is certain. He’s my baby.”
***
Christmas was right around the corner. Yoon-woo beamed with joy at the twinkling lights of the enormous Christmas tree, pointing at the sparkling bulbs as if he wanted to touch them.
“No, Yoon-woo. You can’t touch that.”
He was growing fast. He could stand with help now and walk with his walker at speed. But he kept trying to climb the tree, so Tae-yeon picked him up and carried him close.
“Yoon-woo, let’s exchange gifts this Christmas. Mommy put your present under the tree. Come on, hurry up, our Yoon-woo.”
Tae-yeon took him to her mother’s apartment today. Mom had moved into the new place and kept everything spotless. She didn’t go out much because of her health. No dust. It looked exactly like a model home. And Yoon-woo’s grandmother greeted him with open arms.
Actually, it had always bothered her to bring Yoon-woo to her mother’s. What if she found out she was raising someone else’s child? The secret had weighed on her, but now she had decided—no matter what anyone said, Yoon-woo was her baby. The guilt of deceiving her mother vanished.
When Tae-yeon returned with Yoon-woo, Kyung-ja was overjoyed.
“What does our Yoon-woo like? I made beef stew because you said he likes it with a lot of soybean paste.”
“Ugh, Mom. I’m busy. I brought Yoon-woo’s food myself.”
“Thinking it’s my grandson, you bring the best. Yoon-woo, is it time to eat?”
Kyung-ja spooned the lukewarm beef stew into Yoon-woo’s mouth. The little boy ate with delight, and her mother’s face lit up with smiles.
“It goes straight into my baby’s mouth, so my stomach is full. He’s even prettier than when I raised you.”
“Really prettier than when you raised me?”
“Of course. What’s there to say? But how about you two? Getting along well?”
“Yes. We’re getting along fine.”
“That’s good to hear.”
Tae-yeon smiled at her mother. Then she asked, lips still trembling from the smile.
“Do all couples feel the same way? Close on the outside but with an empty spot in their hearts?”
“What nonsense are you talking?”
Then Kyung-ja let out a long sigh.
“Well, how can you know someone’s true feelings? Even if you’re madly in love, there’s always that empty place in your heart. Even if your child is the most beautiful in the world, after putting them to bed you feel a hollow ache on one side of your chest. That’s just how it is in life.”
“So how do you feel right now, Mom?”
“Right now? Nothing’s different. Looking at you, you feel so happy. I guess that’s how life is. I thought time would slow down, but it’s gone by so fast, and I wonder what I’ve actually done with my life.”
“Mom, just stay healthy. There will be so many good things ahead.”
Tae-yeon took her mother’s hand. Listening to her felt a little better.
Yeah. That was just how it was. Whether you signed a contract or wrote your own vows, the difference didn’t matter. Tae-yeon comforted herself with that thought.
***
On Christmas Eve the sky was low and heavy with clouds. If it snowed, it would be a white Christmas, but for now it would just be a cloudy one. Tae-yeon placed the gift she had prepared for Hyun-seo beside the Christmas tree. For Yoon-woo she had made a cute Santa hat.
Hyun-seo didn’t come home early even on Christmas Eve. Tae-yeon sat alone late at night, holding sleepy Yoon-woo in her arms and smiling.
“Our Yoon-woo, Christmas gifts. Mommy will open them for you.”
She unwrapped the present she had made herself and gently placed the bright red Santa hat on his head.
“Aigoo, our Yoon-woo is so beautiful.”
“I’ll take a photo, Madam. He’s really adorable. Yoon-woo, look here while I take the picture.”
Tae-yeon stood beside the tree with Yoon-woo in her arms. Click. The tree lights twinkled behind them. Tae-yeon’s gaze lingered on the gift box she had prepared for Hyun-seo. Tonight she would have to give it without him.
“Yoon-woo, Daddy is late again today. But it’s okay because you and Mommy are here.”
The wife’s position, the one she could never demand or claim. She had always thought it was natural, but now it hurt.
She was at work, yet she was acting anything but professional. Why was she feeling this way?