Failed Wishes
The smile vanished from Matthias von Herhardt’s face in an instant, replaced by a chillingly cold and ruthless expression. Leila Lewellin unconsciously held her breath.
“I’m leaving.”
Unable to face him, she stared at the teacup on the table and spoke.
“……What?”
“I won’t ever disturb the Duke’s estate again.”
“Where are you going?”
“Anywhere.”
Leila’s hands, which had begun to tremble, tightened. Don’t be afraid. Even though she knew it was useless, she comforted herself.
“I have more places in this world than just Arvis.”
She sharpened her thorns in proportion to the humiliation. The Duke remained silent, as if the insult was too trivial to deserve a response.
All she wanted was to stand up and leave at once, but a fleeting memory from last summer surfaced. The day she had been stripped of her hat for refusing to eat what he gave her and then thrown into the cold river water. She could not endure such humiliation again.
With her resolve set, Leila hurriedly drank the still-hot coffee. She nearly choked on the grounds, but forced herself to swallow. Only when the bottom of the cup appeared did she finally feel relief in her breathing.
“Leila.”
His voice, calling her name, sounded far too low and threatening. Leila, stiff and unmoving, set the money for the tea she had paid on the table’s edge.
“What is this?”
Matthias asked with a mocking laugh.
“It’s the cost of the tea I drank.”
Leila answered while still gazing only at the tips of her own fingers.
“Am I supposed to charge you for something as insignificant as you?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t want to drink tea obtained from the Duke.”
Her hands grew colder until they turned deathly white beneath the nails. Still, she wanted to make it clear. This was Matthias von Herhardt’s world, Arvis, where Leila Lewellin stayed as a guest, not the other way around.
“Lift your head.”
“I won’t.”
“Lift your head, Leila.”
“Don’t order me.”
Leila met Matthias’s gaze with eyes that did not hide her anger. The bold courage that suddenly surged erased her fear.
“I am not your servant.”
“Servant.”
“I may have lived under the roof of Uncle Bill’s family in Arvis, but that does not make me the Duke’s servant.”
“Really? Then what exactly are you?”
“……Nothing.”
Leila’s eye rims grew faintly red.
“I have been nothing, and I will always remain nothing.”
Her tear-filled green eyes held his gaze. She dared to deny him after looking directly into his eyes.
Matthias remained silent, gripping the teacup. Memories from the day he had wanted to choke the life out of Leila Lewellin resurfaced. The late summer afternoon when he had been driven to such frenzy by one trivial woman that he had rolled in the dirt like a madman.
What if he had let her go then? he wondered.
At least it would not have been as terrible as it was now. Far better than being bound by an incomprehensible impulse to cling to something so insignificant.
Matthias picked up the money Leila had left and rose from his chair. He slowly lowered it onto the lap of the seated Leila.
“Take it.”
Leila’s eyes reddened further as she looked up at him. Holding that gaze, Matthias tossed a few gold coins onto her skirt.
“This too.”
“……What?”
“Thank you, Leila.”
Matthias gave a cold laugh, and Leila’s pupils grew even more transparent.
“You accept the money from Claudine in just that way. With a grateful heart, politely.”
Leila’s lips moved as if she wanted to protest, but no sound came out.
“Since I stole your time even though you are not my servant, I must pay you commensurate wages.”
Even while clenching her teeth, Leila could not hold back her tears.
“If you find it hateful, think of it as the pity I’m offering to a poor orphan.”
Leila’s tears, falling like gem shards, looked pitiful.
“You, who are so pitiful that you want to marry me, find a mere coin or two’s worth of pride worth mocking?”
Leila glared at him as if trying to resist, but tears welled up in her eyes and streamed down her cheeks without pause.
Matthias felt a sense of relief and left the café. Leila never smiled in his presence, but she never restrained her tears either.
If he could not make her smile, then making her cry would do. Whether laughter or tears, it was all the same to Matthias. If tears were what he could offer, he would offer tears. If wounds, he would offer wounds. That way, at least she would never again think of him as nothing.
Before leaving the café, Matthias turned his head to look at Leila. She was now crying while placing her glasses on the table’s edge.
Leaving the natural history museum at a leisurely pace, Matthias wished. He wished Leila would marry the son of the doctor and vanish from his world as soon as possible. And Matthias wished again. He wished that the tears and wounds he had left on Leila would last forever.
The sun was already setting, yet Leila had not returned to the hotel.
Kyle Etman, who had searched for the hotel where Leila was staying so they could have dinner together, left the lobby with a face heavy with worry. Leila was no child, but this city was still strange to her. And in this unfamiliar city, bad people were everywhere.
“Anyway. The kid has no fear.”
Kyle ran through the streets with an anxious heart. He had assumed she would be at the museum, but when he arrived, closing time had already passed. Searching everywhere, he could not find her.
Had she lost her way?
Kyle began running faster.
Or perhaps she had met some bad person?
The horrifying thought was too much to bear, and Kyle felt like collapsing onto the ground. It was then that he found her. Leila stood before the fountain in the park square at the end of the museum avenue. Strangely, she was throwing coins at the statue in the center of the fountain.
“Leila!”
Leila turned her head at the loud call of her name.
“Oh, Kyle?”
She had managed to make someone else sit down, yet her own expression was one of bewilderment.
“What are you doing here?”
Kyle swept his damp hair back and approached her.
“Why are you here? Aren’t you preparing for your exam?”
“Is that the problem now? You really… you really…”
Kyle gripped Leila’s shoulder and exhaled roughly. The breath mixed with the metallic scent only gradually calmed.
“Are you all right? Want me to sit down?”
Leila looked at his face with eyes full of concern.
Who was worrying about whom?
Kyle cupped Leila’s face with his hot hands. A hollow laugh escaped like a sigh. It was then that he noticed her eyes were slightly swollen.
“Leila, were you crying?”
“No.”
The answer came so quickly that it was clear she had been crying.
“Why were you crying?”
“No.”
“Who made you cry?”
“It’s nothing like that.”
Leila gave a small laugh and gently pushed Kyle’s hand away.
“I just went sightseeing at the museum. I took a walk in the park and made a wish.”
“A wish?”
“Yeah. People were doing it.”
Leila pointed at the fountain. People with bright smiles on their faces were throwing coins into the fountain while making wishes.
“I even wished for you to pass the medical school exam.”
“Looks like you have to put it in the urn to succeed.”
Kyle pointed at the water basin held by the statue and laughed. People’s sighs followed those who had not been able to put their coins in.
“Of course I put it in.”
Leila’s expression was filled with pride.
“I’m really good at this.”
“Impressive.”
“It’s getting late. Aren’t you hungry? Let’s make one more wish and go.”
Leila, holding the sparkling gold coins, walked steadily toward the fountain. Kyle followed in surprise.
“Leila! You weren’t seriously throwing those gold coins into the fountain, were you? You, who are so thrifty?”
Instead of answering, Leila threw the coins with force. But they failed. The gold coins bounced off the edge of the water basin and fell back out. Leila’s face turned blank as she let out a long sigh.
“You said you’re really good at this, didn’t you?”
“Why is this? I clearly threw them all in!”
“How many gold coins did you throw?”
Kyle laughed again at Leila’s uncharacteristic behavior.
“Yeah. Today I’ll make a big donation to the fountain of the Latz City while I’m at it. One for me too.”
“Throwing coins? Don’t do it!”
Kyle took out his money, and Leila stopped him with a serious expression, grabbing his hand.
“It’s a waste!”
“Is that what you’re saying after throwing so many gold coins over there?”
“That was still money that could be spared.”
“There is money that can be spared, and money that cannot be spared?”
“Yes there is!”
Leila gave a decisive nod.
“Don’t throw. It’s a waste. If that’s how you feel, let’s buy ice cream with it instead.”
“Now you really sound like Leila Lewellin.”
Kyle shrugged and put the coins back in his pocket.
“Let’s go, Leila.”
He reached out his hand with a slight smile, knowing it would be refused. Leila lightly tapped his hand as if clapping, then walked ahead with a light step. Kyle caught up with her at a quick pace.
“What wish did you make?”
“We wished for Uncle Bill to be healthy and happy. For you to pass university and become a good doctor. For me to become a good adult. I’ve already made all those wishes.”
“Then what about the last one?”
“Hm?”
“The failed last wish.”
“That’s… secret.”
Leila shook her head as if shivering and widened her stride. Kyle wanted to ask, but he simply laughed cheerfully.
“Let’s eat something delicious, Leila. I’ve been running around looking for you, so I’m starving.”
Dr. Etman sighed and opened the door to the bedroom.
When he turned on the light, his wife was lying on the bed. Since Kyle and Leila had left for the test in Latz, she had remained in this state for a long time.
“Dinner is ready, dear. Let’s eat.”
“It’s fine.”
Her voice was icy despite her powerless appearance.
“I understand your feelings… but…”
“No. You don’t understand at all. Doctor Etman, who is generous and kind, would never understand.”
Her eyes, which had shot up, sparkled with anger.
“You loved Leila too, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I know. Leila is a good girl. If it weren’t for you and Kyle, I could have loved her forever.”
“Marrying Leila won’t make her different, dear. It only means you’re marrying the good girl who is truly loved by Kyle.”
“You may think I’m a hopeless snob, but marriage is reality. You allowed your son’s status to be lowered by marrying!”
“The world is changing, dear. That status will soon become obsolete value.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
Etman’s wife gathered her fallen hair neatly and twisted it up. Stepping out of the bed to stand before her husband, her face held a strength that a person who had been starving for days would never possess.
“Status does not disappear forever in this world of people living. When titles vanish, something else will take their place.”
“Dear…”
“And no matter what that standard is, the fact that Leila is not a suitable match for our Kyle will never change.”
With those cold words, Etman’s wife brushed past her husband.
Dr. Etman watched his wife’s retreating back in the garden and sent a faint smile to the butler standing nearby with a troubled face.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Becker. Please clear the dinner table.”
Dr. Etman sighed quietly and followed his wife into the dark garden.