A Kiss at the Door
"Let me ask you just one thing. Are you trying to blackmail me?"
Ju-ri's calm voice echoed inside her car. After the club meetup had wound down and everyone exchanged goodbyes and scattered, Ju-ri had dialed Geon-joo the moment she slid into the driver's seat. Come to my car. It was practically an order, yet instead of objecting, Geon-joo had simply said he'd come. He hadn't even asked why. Ju-ri hung up right away.
She'd deliberately left out where she was parked — a bit of mischief, really — but strangely enough, he found her car in the public lot in no time at all. As if he'd known exactly where it was from the start.
"Why on earth would I blackmail you, Ju-ri? I've never even had such a thought."
"Then why would you say something like that in front of everyone?"
"…If you mean when the conversation turned to relationship troubles, I was just being honest."
Honest. Thought.
Ju-ri let out a short laugh.
"You weren't trying to make a fool of me because I told everyone to be honest, were you?"
"Why would I want to make a fool of you?"
"Because you were mad?"
"I've never been."
"……."
"I have never once been angry because of you, Ju-ri."
Then what was that glare about?
Ju-ri gave a small snort, thinking of the way Geon-joo had stared holes through her while she talked with Hae-seong. She didn't have the patience to quibble over details.
"I told you not to act like you know everything."
"You told me not to at the office."
"…Fine, let me amend that. Don't act like you know everything in front of people who do know you."
Ju-ri sighed softly.
"Did you bring your car? If not, I'll give you a ride."
"To where?"
"Where do you think? Your place, Geon-joo."
"…I'm fine, but are you really okay with that?"
"……?"
"I thought you'd find it burdensome."
"What are you talking about?"
Ju-ri frowned.
"You're the one who said to go to your place. It's cleaner and bigger than a motel, I'll give you that."
At Geon-joo's perfectly composed expression, Ju-ri's words caught in her throat.
"I have no intention of having sex with you, Geon-joo."
"Why not?"
"…Because I don't."
Is that even a question?
"…Aren't we sex partners, you and I?"
"Oh."
A sigh of realization escaped her.
"That bus already left."
"…Why?"
"You said you hated it. While looking at me like I was something strange, remember?"
"You were the one who said you hated dating me, Ju-ri."
"So?"
"I don't want a relationship that's only about the body. But… I also don't like watching you act so chummy with other men."
"So your solution is to be sex partners?"
"Yes."
"I can't tell how that's any different from dating. It's not like being in that kind of arrangement is going to keep us away from other people."
"Then you were planning to laugh and flirt with other men while sleeping with me?"
"That's…."
It wasn't even something wrong, but the way he framed it made the words die on her tongue. Having a sex partner was for when a full relationship felt like too much but the physical chemistry was good and you just wanted an easy release. Unfortunately, her sex drive ran strong, and there had never been a stretch of her life without a lover — if only for the sake of her bed. But as time went on, the constraints of a relationship grew burdensome and suffocating. Better, perhaps, an arrangement free of obligation and duty. That was the reasoning behind the offer she'd made Han Geon-joo. In truth, she'd never proposed such a thing to anyone before. Not that she had any intention of telling him that.
Geon-joo said nothing until Ju-ri broke the silence. She spoke in a soft voice, almost a whisper.
"Han Geon-joo, I don't think this can work. Let's shake hands and part while we still have good memories of each other."
"Ha…."
A sneer curled at the corner of Geon-joo's mouth.
"Do you actually believe that's possible?"
His gaze was colder than she expected, and Ju-ri faltered for a beat.
"Don't bother dressing it up in pretty words. Are you trying to cut me off completely?"
"We'll still run into each other at the office."
"So you want us to go back to how things were."
That was exactly it.
"…You were the one who proposed the sex-partner arrangement first."
"If I'm being honest…."
Ju-ri hesitated. Should she say it? But it seemed Geon-joo wouldn't be satisfied without at least some honesty.
"Your face is exactly my type."
"Your face?"
"Mm. Not the personality."
At her blunt answer, Geon-joo fell silent.
"You know it as well as I do, Geon-joo. You and I are different to a fault. Your taste is the polar opposite of mine, too, isn't it?"
"……."
"That's why dating was out, but I figured a sex partner might be fine and…."
"And now you've grown tired of even that?"
"Seems like it'd get to be a hassle."
"For you?"
"Yeah."
Ju-ri fished a cigarette out of her jacket pocket and set it between her lips. She toyed with her lighter. Light it or not. She made a point of not smoking in the car because of the lingering smell, but it was hard to resist.
…Why is he making me say things I never meant to say.
Right. Smoking in the car was bad manners anyway.
Ju-ri shoved the lighter back into her jacket pocket and, without meeting Geon-joo's eyes, shifted into gear.
"Say your address. I'll drop you off."
"The hassle part."
Geon-joo's voice came down heavy.
"Is it because you're afraid I won't take the hint when you try to end it?"
"…That's part of it."
"Then there's no need to worry. If you ever find yourself a lover, Ju-ri, I'll walk away without a shred of regret."
"Everyone talks big like that."
"Emotion, curiosity, interest — every one of them has an end. It's feelings abandoned before they've even properly begun that leave nothing behind. That's where I stand right now."
Geon-joo looked at her. His black eyes were flat rather than intense, so cool and rational that his words rang true.
"Like you said, Ju-ri, you're far from the kind of woman I'm drawn to. Perhaps it's precisely because we're different that I'm curious. If we keep this going, the curiosity will run its course in time."
"……."
"You don't believe feelings last forever anyway, do you?"
He spoke as if he understood her better than she'd expected, and Ju-ri's mood turned strange. Had she read him this thoroughly — only to find herself read right back?
Her mind was a tangle. Here was a man who deflected refusal after refusal, who wouldn't be pushed away even when she shoved with an uncharacteristic bluntness — and she had no idea how to handle him.
"You're stubborn as hell, Geon-joo."
"……."
"While you're with me, will you do as I say?"
"…Are you going to make me do something strange?"
"You're not even going to ask what it is first?"
Ju-ri quirked one corner of her mouth.
"If you hate it, then forget it."
"Alright."
The answer came back instant.
Ju-ri rested one hand lightly on the steering wheel and looked at him.
"Want to take off your glasses?"
"Is that your test?"
Instead of answering, Ju-ri shrugged. Geon-joo studied her for a long moment. Then, slowly, he raised a hand to his glasses. The frames slid down like they were melting away. As the thick, outrageously high-prescription lenses disappeared, they revealed eyes as finely cut as if carved with a knife — and dark brown irises that glinted like understated gemstones. It was as if she'd stumbled on a raw jewel hidden in a cave behind a thicket of brush, and Ju-ri's heart lifted.
Suddenly she leaned toward him. At the sudden closeness, Geon-joo flinched. Ju-ri didn't blink once as she looked into his eyes. Their soundless breaths met each other's skin and pooled there as warmth.
She studied his expression, stiff with tension, then let her gaze drift back to his eyes. So one pair of glasses can change a person this much. Amazing, every single time I look.
She laid a hand on his shoulder. Beneath the thin t-shirt she could feel his body — solid, burning hot. She could feel even the tension knotted in his muscle.
"Your eyes really are beautiful, Geon-joo."
The breath against his cheek trembled.
She pulled her hand from his shoulder and took hold of the wheel again. She lifted her foot off the brake and started the car.
"Where are we going?"
Geon-joo asked in a voice gone slightly husky. Ju-ri didn't answer.
When she slid the key card in, the room lit up around them.
"Let's wash up first—"
As she turned her head, Geon-joo's lips sealed hers. Ju-ri let out a hum — half sigh, half moan — and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and back. His body was hot and hard, and simply holding it felt wonderful. This was, unmistakably, the body of a man. She'd casually dated a personal trainer once, but this felt overwhelmingly better.
Geon-joo drew his lips away. Ju-ri opened her eyes slowly. When her damp gaze met his, he lowered his head again. Pushed back by his momentum, Ju-ri retreated step by step, and as they drifted toward the bed, their clothes dropped away one piece at a time.
