It's Not What You Did — It's You

Joshua, still turning Eleanor's words over in his mind, was struck by a sudden mischievous impulse and tilted his head ever so slightly.

"So you'd like me to call you that, would you?"

"I'm sorry—what?"

Eleanor asked back, her face frozen stiff. Joshua flashed a bright smile, looking altogether too pleased with her reaction. A shiver ran down Eleanor's spine.

"Sister asked me whether I called her that. It seemed like you wanted me to, so."

"Who said they wanted anything? I have no memory of saying any such thing."

When Eleanor's tone turned razor-sharp, Joshua shrugged as if it were nothing at all.

"Suit yourself, then."

"I also told you not to speak down to me."

"Suit yourself, I said."

Certain that one more jab would send even her benefactor's language spiraling into outright profanity, Joshua evidently decided he'd pushed his luck far enough and stopped in his tracks. With both hands raised in surrender, he made Eleanor take a long, steadying breath.

Just then, the firmly shut door opened and Eben emerged. Wiping the cold sweat trickling down his forehead with his sleeve, he gave a small nod to the two people waiting outside. When he carefully eased the door open, the Viscountess could be seen sleeping with a far more peaceful expression, her breathing slow and even. Eleanor closed her eyes tightly and let out a sigh of relief.

The image of the Viscountess as she'd been on the day she died still flickered at the edges of her mind. But things were different now. Eleanor was overjoyed that the woman had survived—yet there was something that set her heart racing even more than that.

It really did change!

Because of what she had done, someone's life had been rewritten. Perhaps she truly could succeed at her revenge after all. There was just one thing that nagged at her: Joshua had been involved in the process. Nothing could possibly have been more irritating.

Eben, having confirmed the relief on Eleanor's face, closed the door again. Then he gave her a nod, walked a short distance away from the door, and stopped.

Eleanor followed behind him with steps that were just a touch anxious and urgent. Joshua found it absurd how her expression transformed in an instant, but he wasn't entirely without sense. He understood that now was not the moment to hold on to her. Besides, none of this had anything to do with him anyway, so Joshua simply turned and settled into the armchair by the fireplace.

Eleanor looked at Eben and waited for him to speak.

"At first, the child was crying so hard as she told me about her mother's condition that I feared it was grave. But…"

"Is it very serious?"

"We've taken measures, so her fever has come down. With plenty of rest and fluids, she should be fine. I'll write out a prescription as well—three times a day, after meals. And while she's out of danger now… had the treatment come even a little later, I couldn't say for certain what would have happened."

At those words, Eleanor looked toward Joshua.

Joshua, fully expecting some gesture of gratitude directed his way this time, lifted his chin with a faint flutter of self-satisfaction. But Eleanor gave him a single glance and turned away without a word. Joshua's expression darkened.

Eleanor asked Eben carefully,

"So she's truly out of danger now?"

"Yes, my lady. If she sleeps well for a few days and has the prescription I write filled at the medical hall, she'll be up and about within three days at the latest."

Relieved, Eleanor bowed her head in heartfelt thanks.

"Thank you so much for coming all this way in weather like this, Eben. Truly."

Eben neatly sidestepped the full force of her gratitude, then turned a smiling gaze toward Joshua, who stood there blankly.

"Think nothing of it, my lady. I only did what anyone ought to have done. And as it happened, Sir Joshua's help was what allowed me to arrive here in time."

"…I see."

Even at Eben's words, Eleanor did not spare Joshua so much as a glance. Joshua was put out, but he held his tongue. He clicked his tongue as he watched her smile. He'd assumed she was the sort of person incapable of smiling, given how she looked at him like he was her sworn enemy at every turn—but apparently not.

She smiled naturally at everyone but him. And quite beautifully, at that. Just what had he done to deserve being treated with such contempt? Was it a crime, now, to be too considerate?

Had it not been for him, the little tyke might still have been wandering lost in the rain. Eben might never have made it here on time. Who could say for certain? The greatest credit for saving the Viscountess's life belonged to none other than him.

And yet why wouldn't this woman offer him so much as a single word of thanks? Not that he'd done any of it expecting gratitude, of course.

Still, this is going a bit far, isn't it?

And look at her even now—gazing at Eben with the gentlest of eyes, smiling at him no less. But the moment she sensed Joshua's eyes on her, Eleanor's gaze sharpened at once.

Joshua concluded that this fiancée of his might simply harbor some preconceived notion about him. The way he himself once had, come to think of it. Of course, he had no intention of shattering that preconception.

Before long, Eben finished what he had to say and turned to leave. Eleanor saw him off to the very end with a smile on her face, then turned back around—only for her face to harden again the moment she spotted Joshua standing off to one side.

"Are you still here?"

"…"

"Oh, I don't mean anything by it. Your presence is just so faint I thought you'd gone home. Don't misunderstand."

Misunderstand what? Faint presence? Did she just say faint? Joshua confirmed it once more, beyond any shadow of a doubt: his own fiancée despised him thoroughly.

In another room of the mansion, Harry—who had cried himself to sleep—was being looked after by Hin and the wet-nurse. Eleanor glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. It had already been nearly four hours since they arrived at the Belvoir estate. Outside, the rain was still coming down in sheets. She let out a sigh at the wind that battered the shuttered windows as though determined to smash them to pieces.

Sitting on the sitting room sofa, Eleanor swallowed her irritation while doing her best to subtly avoid the eyes of Joshua, who had been staring at her this whole time. With weather like this, she couldn't very well throw him out. Like it or not, Joshua had all but saved the Viscountess's life, and this mansion was not hers to rule—she had no right to cast out a guest on a whim.

The gloomy sky. The darkened sitting room, curtains drawn. The crackle and pop of firewood in the fireplace. The drumming of rain hammering the earth. Thanks to the presence beside her, Eleanor's mood could hardly have been worse.

Hoping to redirect her gaze elsewhere, she lifted her head and searched desperately for Hin. But Hin still showed no sign of emerging from the room where Harry lay.

Joshua had kept his mouth firmly shut ever since Eleanor saw Eben off. All the while, he studied her with a probing, searching stare. It looked as though he had something to say, yet he never actually brought it out.

Is he actually trying to read my mood? But Eleanor quickly scoffed at her own thought and shook her head. Him? Reading someone else's? He was perfectly capable of shooting meaningful looks at others, sure—but that attitude of his, never actually saying what he wanted while expecting everyone around him to just understand, made her teeth grind. Eleanor forced down a bitter smirk.

She knew all too well how the man who had once played the world's most pitiable bastard child had changed once the power was in his hands. Joshua, who had been silent for a long stretch, finally spoke while watching her.

"I'm curious about something. Why exactly do you look at me with that expression?"

"…"

Eleanor frowned, finding his question hard to make sense of. Uncharacteristically, Joshua spoke with hesitation.

"I ask because I wonder whether I've done something to wrong you."

Eleanor, who had been staring blankly into the sound of falling rain without listening to a word he said, flinched visibly at that moment. Joshua did not miss it. His eyes narrowed to slits as he regarded her, and inside, he sneered. There it is. As if anger without a reason exists anywhere in this world. Perhaps, he thought, Eleanor had formed a prejudice against him because of the rumors.

After all, he himself had once believed this woman was exactly as the gossip painted her. It was entirely plausible. And yet, to his surprise, Eleanor curled the corners of her mouth as though she'd heard the most absurd joke in the world and shook her head. Never had a slight, graceful tilt of the head looked so utterly elegant.

"No."

Joshua froze.

"You mean to say I haven't?"

"That's right. It's not that you've wronged me. I simply don't like you."

"…I beg your pardon?"

Eleanor stared at him with a perfectly blank face. In those piercingly blue eyes, the blazing flames of the fireplace were reflected, flickering. Joshua felt an inexplicable chill crawl up his spine. That sensation, prickling even the fine hairs on his arms, was a familiar one. Hatred, and fury.