My Ideal Type

Even though my backside was burning, we insisted on riding the duck boat anyway. Pedaling slowly, we traded pointless chatter.

Sometimes we bickered, too.

"There are so many people cosplaying at the amusement park. It's wild. Later…"

"Fuck, you saw that cop earlier, right."

"I did not. There was a Dracula right next to him, and Snow White, and everyone else."

"You saw him. The cop. Nice that your ideal type made an appearance."

"My ideal type is not a police officer."

"Then why do you keep bringing up cops?"

"I was just saying the cosplay was cool, and then you wouldn't shut up about police, police."

"And your ideal type really is a cop, Lee Na-hee. Don't even try to lie."

Kwon Hyun-jin was unusually sensitive about anything to do with the police. The one who always brought the subject up first was never me—it was always him.

"Being a police officer is a job. How can a job be someone's ideal type?"

"Then what is your ideal type?"

"Someone kind and affectionate."

"Ah, shit…"

Whether he was a police officer or not, my ideal type was clearly a long way from the boy sitting next to me. The fact that Kwon Hyun-jin seemed to know that himself was almost funny.

"You piss me off so fucking much, Lee Na-hee."

"I hate people who swear."

"I won't."

"You won't be able to stop."

"I'll try to cut back."

The closer we became, the softer Kwon Hyun-jin grew. The wild outbursts of before had almost vanished, and that terrible first impression had faded a great deal.

He heaved long sighs, but without another curse he simply pedaled hard. Thanks to that, the duck boat cut cleanly through the water.

"What about you? What's your ideal type?"

"What. All of a sudden?"

"Yeah. I'm curious."

Still looking straight ahead, Kwon Hyun-jin moved only his lips.

"Small face, small nose, small mouth. Short, small hands—everything small. Except the eyes. Big eyes."

He had been staring forward the whole time; now he turned and looked straight at me as he spoke.

"Long straight hair with a rabbit headband, denim shorts and a yellow T-shirt. Though the short hair is also fucking adorable."

"You said you'd cut back on the swearing… and you just did it again."

"The person who asked me my ideal type and is now turning red and looking anywhere but at me so she can avoid my eyes."

"I wasn't avoiding them…"

"My ideal type is you. Lee Na-hee."

"…"

"You really didn't know until now?"

Kwon Hyun-jin's affection was growing more shameless by the day. Sober, it was almost more than I could handle.

"From head to toe, every single part. You're my ideal type. Even the name."

"…Be honest. You're lying. You just made that up on the spot because I asked, right?"

"Nope. Ever since I was little I planned to marry a girl who looked exactly like you and call her Lee Na-hee."

"Please stop saying crazy things…"

"Then marry me so I can stop saying crazy things, Lee Na-hee. Please."

Kwon Hyun-jin turned out to be far more playful and full of aegyo than I had expected.

We kissed nonstop inside the duck boat until the day faded. Crimson sunset bled across the sky, and the water that had been pure green slowly turned gold.

By the time darkness settled over the lake, the lights began to come on one by one.

"Wow… look over there. The lights are coming on."

It was a sight I would never see twice. Dazzling light spread across the fairy-tale castle that was the symbol of the park. It glittered as if the stars themselves had come down to earth.

"It's really beautiful, isn't it."

"Yeah. You're really beautiful."

"No, not me… the magic castle over there…"

Even at an amusement park he claimed he had never visited before, I was everything to him. His gaze never left me.

"Na-hee. Look at me for a second. Stop looking everywhere else…"

Kwon Hyun-jin caught my chin while I was busy turning this way and that. His soft lips tasted of orange Fanta.

"Next time I'll take you to Everland for sure."

Like any couple, I wanted to pile up more memories with Kwon Hyun-jin. I wanted to see him smile more often.

Whenever he was laughing beside me, even though I still had nothing, the whole world felt solid and mine.

It was our last meeting before the college entrance exam.

My work-study shift had been canceled, so I went to Kwon Hyun-jin's apartment. I knew his academy let out earlier than usual that day because of an internal mock exam.

When he didn't reply I assumed he wasn't home yet and let myself in to wait. Kwon Hyun-jin was already in the shower.

I came face-to-face with him as he stepped out of the master bedroom almost completely naked.

"…!"

Thankfully he was wearing drawers, and the towel covered anything important.

"Ah, Lee Na-hee! What the hell!"

Once he had thrown clothes on, Kwon Hyun-jin rolled around in front of me, red from forehead to throat.

"Why… I didn't see anything…"

"My body's ruined! I'm a stick right now!"

"What kind of stick is as big as you…"

"I don't even have abs!"

"Your abs looked completely fine?"

"You saw them. Fuck. You saw everything!"

"No, I didn't…"

The truth was I had seen everything. He hadn't been able to go to the gym he loved so much, and he shouldn't have had time to keep his body the way it used to be. Yet somehow he still looked like that…

I was stunned. It was the kind of body you only saw in men's fitness magazines.

It was so impressive my heart hammered wildly. Afraid he would notice how worked up I got looking at someone else's bare skin like a pervert, I deliberately acted even more nonchalant.

"Ah, this is so annoying!"

"Why are you so embarrassed? If I had a body like that I'd show it off all over the neighborhood."

"You said you didn't see it!"

"No, I mean… there's nothing to be shy about, that's all."

Kwon Hyun-jin practically screamed. It was my fault for showing up without warning. He said he had left a text but hadn't checked it because he was in the shower.

Who showers that long, honestly. Being too clean could be a problem too.

"If you're that embarrassed… should I show you mine?"

"What?"

"I already saw your body. If I show you mine, then neither of us has anything to be embarrassed about, right…?"

"Are you crazy? What the hell would you show me."

Hearing "are you crazy" from Kwon Hyun-jin of all people felt a little unfair.

"Is a woman looking at a man's body the same as a man looking at a woman's?"

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Every time he unexpectedly showed this kind of common sense I was astonished all over again.

Still red up to his neck, Kwon Hyun-jin lay on the sofa, covering his face as he spoke.

"It's not that far off anyway."

"What isn't?"

"The day we promised."

That damn promise. I had thought he might leave it alone today.

"I'm going to see everything then. Lee Na-hee, every inch of you."

Kwon Hyun-jin's eyes burned. More than getting into S University or the entrance exam itself, his real goal was December 31st.

The day Kwon Hyun-jin became an adult.

"You haven't forgotten, right? That day, we…"

When December 31st arrived.

That day held all of Kwon Hyun-jin's dreams and hopes and every wild fantasy mixed together.

On the other hand, I was honestly a little worried too.

Dating was new, but so was feeling this kind of flutter toward a boy. Kwon Hyun-jin was the first.

Usually I either had no interest in the opposite sex or, like with Chang-jin, just felt comfortable. Boys had confessed to me before, but all I ever thought was now this is going to be a hassle—never a single thrill.

By contrast, a boy like Kwon Hyun-jin, who made everything feel awkward and charged, was a first. Just sharing a space made me hyper-aware of his scent; a single breath made my ears perk up.

And when he touched me or our bodies brushed, every nerve I had focused only on that point of contact.

It was so unfamiliar that I was clumsy at everything. Kwon Hyun-jin was overflowing with affection and physical touch, while I was so embarrassed by how hard my heart pounded that I only accepted the bare minimum.

What if we actually slept together and it wasn't as good as we'd dreamed? Big expectations usually meant big disappointment… and he was looking forward to it this much.

The closer the day came, the more my anxiety grew.

There was only one way to deal with it.

I would have to face it head-on.