Warmth That Touches in Disarray
At last the CSAT scores were released. Kwon Hyun-jin’s admissions results came out almost immediately as well—his preliminary scoring had already placed him safely in the acceptance zone.
Final acceptance.
I nearly choked when I saw the words printed so boldly. Of course money carried enormous weight in university admissions, but if money alone could buy everything, Kwon Seung-ju would never have failed to enter S University even after three attempts.
“Holy shit, Kwon Hyun-jin……”
The sheer tenacity with which he chased down a goal until he seized it was staggering. After that last date he had barely contacted me at all, burying himself entirely in the exam.
“I mean, I did private tutoring, went to cram school—I did everything you’re supposed to do.”
“This was your first time studying for the CSAT.”
He used to send only the shortest messages because he was still clumsy with Hangul and terrified of spelling mistakes. I only learned that much later.
“So you thought I’d take a gap year?”
“Honestly……? Yeah.”
It made sense. Hyun-jin had applied early admission to S University and nowhere else. Whether it was swagger or pure confidence, everyone tried to talk him out of it and he still pushed through. He didn’t even have parents supporting him from behind.
Only Manager Yoon.
“……Yes. Of course. Thank you, Uncle. Please tell Auntie thank you as well. Yes.”
A soft smile curved Kwon Hyun-jin’s mouth as he ended the call with Yoon Jong-oh.
“You call Manager Yoon ‘Uncle’ now?”
“Yeah.”
Well, Manager Yoon wasn’t a manager anymore. He had been rotated through other affiliates so many times that his title kept changing. After several years in Jeju he was apparently returning to Kwonjin Construction next year to head the hotel and resort division in Incheon.
“You’ve gotten pretty close with Manager Yoon, huh.”
“Pretty much.”
The way he said “Uncle” and “Auntie” already proved it. Kwon Hyun-jin addressed everyone around him strictly by rank. Even his uncle Kwon Young-moo was simply “Vice President.”
Mrs. Jang, Chairman Kwon, and Yoon Jong-oh—only those three were exceptions now.
“He knows the company’s real situation inside out. The stuff between Grandpa and the Vice President, too.”
I didn’t fully understand the exact state of affairs between Chairman Kwon and Kwon Young-moo either. So for Hyun-jin there was no one as solidly on his side as Yoon Jong-oh. The fact that Yoon’s wife had even packed him exam-day lunchboxes told me just how devotedly the man had looked after him.
“I’m glad they’re good people. That you can lean on them……”
To Manager Yoon, Kwon Hyun-jin was both the son of his late best friend and a lifeline. Having someone as shrewd and capable as Yoon Jong-oh beside him was pure luck for the boy as well.
“But Na-hee’s contribution was the biggest, you know?”
“What did I even do…… We barely saw each other.”
I had been buried in my own project. I had started society activities so I could submit work to the Korea Architecture Festival next year, and I kept an eye on regional competitions as well. Once full-scale architectural design began, they said all-nighters in the design studio would become routine because of the assignments.
“If it weren’t for you I never would have contacted Uncle. I’d already be back in England, completely out of Grandpa’s favor. So about that……” His hand, which had been resting on the sofa back, slipped around my shoulder. “Want to go on a trip?”
The soft way he asked was different from usual. His clear eyes moved carefully over my face, gauging my reaction.
A short silence stretched. When I didn’t answer, Hyun-jin bit his lower lip as if restless.
“Na-hee, want to go on a trip with me?”
The names he called me shifted strictly according to his mood and need. The order was usually “Hey,” “Lee Na-hee,” “Na-hee,” “Noona.” He only used “Na-hee” or “Noona” when he especially wanted something from me or when he knew he had done something wrong.
“Exams are over now, so let’s go. Yeah?”
Let’s go on a trip, Na-hee…… He whispered it right against my ear even though we were already alone in the apartment.
“Anywhere you want to go? Since it’s winter, how about Bali? Or somewhere closer?”
“Kwon Hyun-jin.”
“Yes.”
The transparent scheme was so obvious I burst out laughing.
“Go where? The second you turn adult all you’ve been thinking about is doing that with me.”
“No? What’s ‘that’?”
“You already answered and now you’re asking? You know exactly what I mean.”
I narrowed my eyes and stared at him. The very day the CSAT ended he had marched straight back to the gym. As if I wouldn’t see through him.
“You’re seriously so sneaky for a kid. You don’t even look the type.”
“Yeah, that’s all I think about. So let’s go on a trip, Lee Na-hee.”
Caught red-handed, Kwon Hyun-jin simply admitted the filthy truth without flinching.
“It’s a commemorative day—what’s wrong with wanting to go somewhere nice and do something nice? You’re on break until the semester starts anyway.”
“I don’t have a break. I signed up for the winter session. Plus I still have to work part-time.”
“What? Ah, fuck…… Lee Na-hee.”
Lately Hyun-jin had been trying hard to cut down on swearing. He was making an effort, but it wasn’t going well. Especially in front of me he found it difficult to hide what he really felt.
“Your friends are coming to Korea, right? Hang out with them.”
“Hey.”
“Just give me one day. One night.”
Hyun-jin’s pupils wavered for a second. After hounding me so relentlessly for an entire year, had he really thought I wouldn’t keep my promise?
“I already told Ji-yul. That I’d be staying out overnight at the end of the year hanging with classmates……” I could see him swallow hard with my naked eyes. What a ridiculous kid. “Let’s not do Bali—let’s go to Hong Kong, Kwon Hyun-jin. Noona will send you.”
The year-end streets overflowed with people.
He kept suggesting a pool villa in the suburbs or picking out hotels, even sending photos of various options, but the place I chose was Kwon Hyun-jin’s apartment.
Because the winter session started the moment finals ended, I still had a group meeting today. I was only a freshman and already this exhausted; the thought of next year already terrified me.
Everyone wanted to finish the meeting quickly, so we just grabbed triangle kimbap and called it a meal.
On the way to the subway station I stopped by a drugstore, bought the sun cream that was on sale, and also…… picked up condoms.
“Would you like to earn points?”
“Yes.”
How was I supposed to check out with these? Would they look at me weird?
Contrary to my worries, nothing happened at all. I was the only one embarrassed.
Even after I walked out holding the paper bag with the condoms inside, my heart kept racing.
We were finally going to do it. The day had actually arrived.
I had blurted out that weird uncle-like line about going to Hong Kong, but the truth was I was trembling. Kwon Hyun-jin’s luxurious apartment looked like a tiger’s den today.
“Kwon Hyun-jin, I’m here.”
I rang the bell several times with no answer, so I let myself in and heard water running from the master bedroom. He was in the shower.
We had been in the same situation before, but today it felt different—maybe because I was so conscious of everything. I felt awkwardly like a guest in someone else’s house……
On the dining table sat a lavish bouquet of roses and the pizza. Looking at those vivid red roses made it suddenly real that Kwon Hyun-jin was becoming an adult.
That boy really likes roses, huh.
Should I have bought them for him?
I was fiddling with the roses while thinking that when I grew self-conscious and turned on the TV instead.
“I’m hungry so I’m starting without you.”
I called toward the bathroom, then sat on the sofa eating pizza and watching a documentary. After sitting for hours in the quiet basement of the art college for the group meeting, my body felt stiff and heavy with fatigue.
Once my stomach was reasonably full I melted sideways onto the cushions.
The sound of water from the bathroom cut off right around then, but I couldn’t fight the eyelids that kept sliding shut on their own.
Bright light woke me. It was the night-view glow pouring in through the fixed floor-to-ceiling window of the bedroom.
I was certain I had dozed off on the sofa, yet now my whole body felt soft and warm, as if I had sunk into a pile of cotton. The cloyingly sweet floral scent that almost stung my nose was his.
When I properly opened my eyes, the window reflected me lying on my side in the bed and Kwon Hyun-jin beside me.