A Stalker Gets Kicked Out

Adrian Dorset. Lionel's eighth-degree cousin. A stalker who had lived in the same delusion ever since she came to the viscountcy at the age of seven.

He was also one of the reasons Lionel had been so eager to escape House Frencia.

"So, he's a loser I've rejected over and over since I was a kid. I honestly never dreamed he'd track me all the way here."

Blasion nodded at Lionel's brief explanation, and Kaylen was quick to ask a question.

"Shall we chase him out?"

"No. I can't have him causing trouble for everyone else, so I'll go speak with him myself."

Lionel gave a small bow and left the examination room. Behind her, Blasion raised his shoulders in mild surprise.

"How the times have changed. A hundred years ago, going to see someone who'd already rejected you was considered the height of shamelessness."

"That remains the behavior of pathetic men even today. It seems Miss Frencia has had the misfortune of associating with a low-quality specimen. Shall I employ force?"

Blasion considered for a moment, then rose from his seat.

"We'll wait and see for now. But be prepared, just in case."

"By your command."

Lionel opened the door to the reception room, and the unwelcome guest inside sprang to his feet.

"Lionel!"

"Adrian. What on earth are you doing here?"

She met his feverish cry with icy composure.

The youth, his face a field of acne, came sprinting toward her, gasping for breath. The flapping of his belly over his belt and his wheezing made for a deeply unpleasant harmony.

"What do you mean, what am I doing here! I know plenty of people oppose our love, but this is going too far. I'll put in a good word with Aunt Patricia, so let's go home together!"

Lionel didn't so much as blink.

"How many times have I told you? I don't like you. Just looking at you makes my peripheral nervous system recoil and my blood boil. Is your ear canal so clogged with wax that nothing gets through?"

Whether or not Lionel declared her refusal, Adrian's delusion marched on undeterred. At last, he pulled a ring box out of his pocket.

"It's finally time to be honest with your feelings. Lionel — marry me."

He dropped to one knee and opened the ring box with a flourish that suggested he'd copied it from somewhere. Lionel looked genuinely on the verge of seizing.

"Five children sounds just about perfect, don't you think? What do you say?"

"Get out right now, while I'm being nice. Otherwise I'll punch that diamond ring into both your cheeks and carve you some dimples."

"Aaah, my angel, using such harsh words!! All that suffering out in the world has coarsened your tongue. I'll simply have to tend to you with love."

Adrian let out a labored wheeze. This was, at this point, a genuine physiological ordeal. Lionel fixed him with a look one might give an insect and turned away, thinking only of escaping this place as fast as possible.

"I don't have the patience to listen to your nonsense, Adrian. Get out. Associating with you was filthy, and I never want to see you again."

"Why do you say such heartbreaking things, Lionel? It wounds me — but I see, you're only pushing me away! Stop hiding it already, you love me!"

The moment the stalker who knew no such word as "quit" reached out his hand —

THWACK—!!

CRASH!!

Suddenly Adrian went flying clear across the room.

As Lionel whipped around in shock, someone landed lightly beside her. She caught a glimpse of long hair rippling like a wave.

"Miss Frencia."

Caught in a déjà vu of their first meeting, she almost thought it was the Duke — but it wasn't. The man who had dispatched her stalker with a single kick checked on Lionel's condition.

"Are you unharmed?"

Black hair tied high. Clear, immaculate blue eyes. A crisp uniform and a sword at his hip.

Lionel found herself calling his name before she could stop.

"Everlein Carseido?"

"……You know of me, my lady?"

How could she not?

A character from The Unfading Flower, the Duke's escort knight — and a man who had once pined for the female lead.

Everlein was Lionel's sore spot — no, her sore stock. She had spent the entire novel cheering him on all by herself, insisting he was the one the heroine should end up with, and how bitterly she had been let down.

While Lionel was briefly lost in memories of the original work, Adrian came clamoring for answers.

"Lionel! Who's that man? D-don't tell me you've found another man instead of me?"

And he'd been so utterly convinced of his own irresistible appeal, too. As Lionel stared at him with contempt, Everlein stepped in between them.

"My apologies for interrupting your conversation. However, I could not stand by and watch a lady be touched."

"Not at all. Thank you for saving me."

"That said…… how do you intend to deal with this one?"

Everlein's gaze swung back to Adrian.

Feeling the sharp menace in the air, Adrian scrambled backward on his rear end. Though even that got him nowhere, thanks to the belly fat dragging him down.

"……W-what do you mean, 'deal with'?"

"In my experience, a man who cannot humbly accept his own foolishness and grows obsessed with a woman is highly likely to escalate to violent behavior. As a precaution, I recommend severing at least one Achilles tendon."

Everlein grasped the sword at his hip without a moment's hesitation. At the sight, Adrian shrieked.

"Eeek!"

Everlein Carseido — granted his title purely on the strength of his swordsmanship, and it showed in how terrifyingly violent he could be.

So thinking, Lionel waved her hands rapidly.

"He's been taught a thorough lesson, so he won't cause any more trouble. ……Isn't that right, Adrian?"

"I-I'm sorry! It won't happen again! S-so please spare me……!"

"That sentence was too short. Apologize properly."

"I'm very sorry……. I-I will never bother Lionel again!"

Everlein glared at Adrian for a long while, clearly regretful that he couldn't, in fact, "deal" with him, before finally stepping back.

"Your Grace. The situation has been resolved."

"Good work."

Blasion had strode over at some point. He picked up the fallen ring box and spat out flatly.

"I know nothing of the history between you and this man, Doctor……. But allow me to offer one piece of advice: a man who proposes to a real diamond with a fake one is a man you'd best filter out."

"Wh-what are you talking about? That's a real——!"

Crrrang!

The ring whistled past Adrian's face and embedded itself in the wall, shattering to pieces.

Having appraised the diamond in a split second, the Duke smiled openly and mockingly.

"A ring that suits its owner remarkably well."

"Hrk……"

Beaten soundly and humiliated to his heart's content, Adrian's face flushed a furious, bursting red. He scrambled to his feet and shouted at Lionel.

"Lionel!! I-I swear I'll rescue you from this cursed house. Just wait a little longer……!"

"Lunatic. Still hasn't come to his senses."

"If you ate nothing but jerky at every meal, you'd go mad too. I-I'll feed you all the delicious food you want. Just you wait!"

And with that, Adrian fled the scene.

Holding back Everlein, who made to pursue him, Lionel stared down at the jerky scattered on the floor.

"Haha…… Turns out serving jerky to a guest really does earn you a bad review. But there genuinely is nothing in the kitchen but jerky……"

Kaylen offered the excuse with an awkward smile.

As much as it stung to admit, Lionel did share a measure of sympathy with Adrian's parting words.

"So…… do you all truly eat nothing but jerky three times a day? Every last servant here, too?"

She hadn't had the presence of mind to press the issue before, but this estate served only jerky and juice at every meal. If this continued, constipation was a certainty.

The escort knight and the aide exchanged a furtive glance before answering.

"The servants sometimes eat other things outside. But the only provisions stored in this mansion are jerky and juice."

"A mansion with benefits this good, and the only food is jerky? That makes no sense at all. Isn't there a cook?"

"This mansion has…… no cook. Only jerky and juice."

It seemed the truth could now come from one person alone: the Duke. And just as Lionel expected, he explained why such a bizarre diet had been maintained.

"I do not die without eating. Jerky keeps easily, so I stocked it for the times when I occasionally feel hunger. That is all."

"For the record, I place the orders for the juice. We do occasionally bring in other snacks and bread, but…… every time we do, the servants' eyes flash and they devour it all, which is why only the jerky ever remains."

So it was an immortal who had lost his appetite, and the servants suffering beneath him, was it……

Granted, bulking up like Adrian was hardly desirable either. But how could a person eat nothing but jerky?

Even gym rats who inhale protein three meals a day still eat their vegetables.

At that thought, something suddenly flashed brilliantly through Lionel's mind. She turned to Blasion, who stood there looking glum.

"How long have you been living on jerky alone? No — how long has it been since you last had a proper meal?"

"I don't recall precisely…… but it was right after the Second Holy War, so perhaps three hundred years or so."

"Truly, when it comes to cost-effectiveness, your body is without equal."

A knowing smile bloomed across Lionel's face. She turned to the Duke, beaming with delight.

"I think I've found it — a way to move the Duke's heart."

"……And what would that be?"

"Starting today, we are——"

Lionel declared, with absolute conviction:

"Going high-speed aging."