Familiar Grounds
The car had stopped in a familiar place.
It was a spot I had been coming to often until just a short while ago.
“…….”
I had arrived at my family’s home, which was also my in-laws’ residence, in Hannam-dong.
Looking at the towering gate, high enough that I had to tilt my head all the way back, I couldn’t hold back the heavy weight in my heart and a sigh slipped out.
“...Haa.”
He had already stepped out of the car first and was on the phone in front of the gate. Since I couldn’t just sit in the car, I got out and approached him.
“Yes. Let’s meet there that time. Mm-hmm. That’s fine.”
I froze.
Without realizing it, I gazed blankly at his face. The soft features, unlike his usual stern ones, were so rare that my eyes kept drifting back. His voice was even gentler.
It was the same look he had once shown me.
Who could it be?
I knew I shouldn’t feel curious, yet deep down I wondered about the person on the other end of the line. The one who had created him like warm sunlight.
After finishing the call, he looked at me and his expression turned cold. His face, as if to ask when he had ever been warm, twisted in displeasure.
“Aren’t you coming in?”
His tone sounded as if to say, “Why are you standing there so stupidly?” but I moved my legs quickly to not miss the man walking ahead of me.
I followed the broad back of his jacket up the stone steps and paused for a moment.
Behind the main house building, a grand mountain first came into view. Seeing the mountain made my chest tighten for no reason. Every time I had come to his family home, I had felt small, but this was worse. It was only right that I should feel crushed by my own sins.
I started walking again. The neatly arranged yard looked so orderly it almost felt like I might have misread the condition of the place. I entered the building.
“...Thank you for having me.”
Since I had expected no one would greet me, I calmly accepted the cold eyes. The sharp gazes pierced my entire body, but my face remained expressionless as I had practiced.
My hands alone could not hide the trembling. I clenched my slightly shaking fists and bowed my head like a criminal.
“Bow to Grandmother first.”
“Yes.”
If it had been the usual, my mother would have patted my shoulder and said I had come a long way. Instead, she turned her body away coldly. Even the aunts who worked in the house turned their backs and disappeared.
I followed him toward the room where we were to pay respects to Grandmother.
...Grandmother.
Her maternal grandmother, the woman who had been the real power behind Baekgang Group until a few years ago. She had now stepped back from all matters because her body was in pain, yet everyone still revered and followed President Kim.
And.
She had even shown affection to someone like me. I had trampled that affection and betrayed her. How could I ever be forgiven for that? And now I had to watch over the man I had wronged for a whole year.
My betrayal had been discovered by him, and he had disappeared to live quietly in a remote village. But he had come to find me. Grandmother had said that unless I lived with him for a year, she would change her will. She wasn’t joking—she had even rewritten the will.
Because I knew how much he had worked to become the owner of Baekgang Group, I had agreed to live with him. It was neither a difficult choice nor a decision.
If even a small help from me could be of use to him. If I became a moth and jumped into the fire, it would be fine.
He stood before Grandmother’s room, his hand reaching for the doorknob. Before opening the door, he turned his head to look at me.
“Manage your expression.”
A chilling gaze swept across my face, enough to freeze my entire body.
“Although we have no choice but to live together, in front of the family, try to hide that sad face a little.”
He had the face of someone who found living with me utterly horrific—yet it was himself saying it. I bit the tip of my tongue and nodded. I had no intention of correcting him. I simply wanted to do as he wished.
If my body burned to ash and crumbled, it would be fine. Since I could do anything, I would do everything and leave. For a full year I had deceived and lied to him, so I would live for him in the coming year. I didn’t even dream of atonement. All I wanted was... if even a little of my love could make you happy even a tiny bit.
It was enough.
The door opened. The corners of his mouth trembled slightly.
I had promised myself I would not cry, yet the moment I saw Grandmother in her old hanbok, tears welled up.
“Come here.”
Seated in an old armchair with missing teeth that time could not overcome, Grandmother lifted a teacup with a kind smile and reached out her hand.
“I’m sorry....”
I tried to say I was sorry but closed my mouth. His voice saying not to apologize echoed in my ears. I bit back my tears, knelt on the floor, and placed my trembling hand on Grandmother’s palm.
“You came at last.”
Just knowing someone in this house welcomed me made my shoulders shake. It had always been this way.
Even after I let go of his hand, because he was the real power behind Baekgang Group, I had been told to stay in his good graces, and when I first came to pay respects, Grandmother had simply taken my hand tightly and welcomed me with “You came.”
“You came.”
Even though I knew I had betrayed him, I wondered about Grandmother’s intentions in creating this situation.
“Is it settled now?”
My shoulders shrank at the chilly voice. Then Grandmother tapped my hand with her knuckles, as if to say not to worry about anything.
“Yes. It’s settled.”
“Promise me you’ll keep it.”
Grandmother let go of my hand and straightened her posture. Her sparkling eyes, out of place for her age, revealed that she had once been the real power behind Baekgang Group.
“You must keep it too.”
“I promise.”
I turned my head to look at him. His sharpened gaze made my eyes sting. I had to live with someone I loathed more than anything for a year. How much I hated him.
“I’ll be going now.”
“Go ahead.”
He stood up from his seat and walked out without looking back. A brief silence followed.
“If I live here, how much longer will you live?”
The moment I withdrew my gaze from where he had disappeared, I noticed Grandmother’s withered hand.
“...Grandmother.”
I had heard the cancer had spread to my whole body, but I thought it had been cured years ago. There was no way to do anything anymore.
“Before I die, I want to do something good.”
She was the kind woman who always smiled even with her aching body. Today her shoulders looked smaller, and my chest ached.
Looking at Grandmother made me think of my own grandmother.
“If you want to save your grandmother, do it right!”
I wanted to see my grandmother.
“If you’re going to act like this, I won’t show you! If you don’t want to see me for the rest of your life, do it like this now!”
My beloved grandmother.
I bit my lip hard. I wished Grandmother or my grandmother would not be in pain and would stay with me forever. Was this greed? If it was, then only until I finished this task....
Only until then....
“It will be hard from now on, but if you endure it, you’ll survive, won’t you?”
I looked away because I could not meet Grandmother’s eyes as if she had read my thoughts.
“You seem tired and want to rest.”
“...Thank you.”
The words that came out were not “I’m sorry” but “Thank you.” I bowed my head because I was so grateful that he had allowed me to live with him for a year.
“Yes. I’ll go now.”
“Yes.”
My shoulders slumped as I left the room and closed the door. I turned sharply, my messy hair brushing my ear, only to find him leaning against the wall in the corridor.
Startled to see him there—when I had assumed he had left—I unconsciously stroked my neck.
“What? Does it feel like I stabbed you in the back of the kind Grandmother who took care of you?”
His mouth curled up in a mocking smile, as if to mock my teary eyes.
“I won’t do that again, but if you ever think of betraying me again, give up.”
“......”
“In this house, there’s nothing you can do.”
I understood he meant there would be no one to treat me well as before.
“...Yes. I know.”
My calm reply displeased him, so he turned his body away coldly. I followed him, slowly blinking my eyes.
Of course he knew I would take the stairs to the second floor, but he had gone out and headed instead to the annex behind the main house building. I followed him without a word, yet inside I was surprised.
Of course I had assumed he lived on the second floor.
Inside the annex, there wasn’t even a hint of warmth, as if someone had moved a model house there. I stepped into the annex that bore a corner of resemblance to him.
I had only looked around briefly when I realized he was nowhere to be seen. There was no reason for it, yet my heart raced to find him.
Then I stood in front of a room with a slightly open door.
I hesitated and stepped inside. There he sat at the edge of the bed.
“........”
Our gazes intertwined in the air.
It was fortunate that I was staying in the annex. I had been so afraid to breathe in front of my father or mother.
In this space, it was only us. At least, I felt as if the air had cleared.
Yet.
He looked at me standing quietly and tilted his head sideways as if he found me irritating.
“Come inside with me.”
“...Huh?”
He smirked at my widened eyes, then unbuttoned his shirt.
“Come to the bathroom.”
I watched his back as he turned and walked into the bathroom, my mouth open in surprise. The moment I understood his meaning, my face flushed as if it would burst.
Was the air really clearing?
How foolish that thought was, and regret flooded me. It felt as if I had sunk into an unfathomable deep sea and couldn’t breathe even if I wanted to.
I looked at the white shirt lying crumpled on the floor in front of the bathroom and pulled the hearing aid from my left ear.
It had only been the first day. My heavy sigh slipped out from between my lips because I already felt drained.