The Trembling in the Silence
The fountain pen tapped rhythmically against the desk.
I had been writing something, but the atmosphere in the conference room was unbearable. Normally I would have forced a smile even under such pressure, yet today I had zero desire to do so.
This was the first time I had not greeted her upon her arrival at work.
Even right after our marriage and up until yesterday, she had always greeted me first. I had repeatedly told her not to worry about such things when we lived together again, but each time she would ignore my words and stubbornly continue her greeting, which grated on my nerves.
Tap, tap, tap.
“…”
She had even slipped away without a word during yesterday’s handover ceremony. She refused to greet me of her own accord. As usual, she was an irritating Jin Yeon-woo.
It pained me to see the employees watching us, but the image of her shivering in the cold, wearing nothing but a cardigan, eyes downcast, and offering her greeting anyway refused to leave my mind. I could not bring myself to be angry.
I had come out to greet her even if I had to do so. Yet because of her, my feelings and mood had become utterly turbulent.
I wanted to strangle her. But since that was impossible, I chose to watch her suffer beside me instead.
And because my grandmother wished it.
Tsk. Was she even pretending to change her will? While I flipped through my hair and read the documents, my phone rang on the desk. When I looked at the screen, it read “Park Sa-rang.”
“Haa…”
The moment I confirmed the name, I set the fountain pen down.
“Let’s conclude the meeting here.”
My secretary would have handled the paperwork anyway. I rose from my seat and stepped out of the conference room.
“Hello?”
“This is Jin. Do-hyun… sir.”
I had comforted her deeply in the early hours of yesterday, yet she called again now. It meant she had no intention of ending the call quickly. I arrived at the deputy chairman’s office, sat in the chair, and asked.
“What is it?”
I spoke as gently as possible. Though I had not slept properly and fatigue weighed on me, I could not hang up midway. I pressed my eyelids with my fingertips, turned my chair, and gazed at the sky outside the window.
“Haa… ugh, snif… I’m so miserable, Do-hyun. Can’t you come to me?”
I forced down the rising emotion in my chest, wondering why Jin Yeon-woo kept appearing in my mind at this moment, and steadied my voice.
“I’m busy with work now. I’ll go after I finish.”
“Really? For real?”
She even made a snorting sound, as if mocking my question. My mood sank completely.
“Yes, I’ll definitely go. So rest well for now.”
“Okay, I’m sorry, I know you’re busy… I keep making such a fuss… It’s not intentional…”
“I know. Then I’ll see you later. I should go now.”
“…Later. Please come. You must come.”
She asked repeatedly whether I would really come to meet her, whether I would definitely come. I answered each time, even though it was bothersome, in a kind and gentle manner.
I ended the call and leaned my head against the chair, closing my eyes.
“Haa… a.”
The thought that the day would be long made my irritation vanish.
“Thank goodness.”
I smiled faintly and opened my eyes. There was no time to meet Park Sa-rang; I had to finish work quickly.
I straightened my posture and began reading the documents.
A short while later.
I opened the front door and entered the house, but the living room was empty. Again, irritation surged.
Was she deliberately trying to irritate me? I had already been exhausted from soothing Park Sa-rang, and my head throbbed. Yet I was too stupid to stop worrying about Jin Yeon-woo.
I stood in the middle of the living room and looked around.
“…”
Nothing had changed from when I left for work. It was as if no one else lived here. She left no traces, that much I knew. But what then?
I walked toward the master bedroom. I opened the door and stepped inside, tilting my head in confusion.
She had always been here at the exact time I returned from work, sitting on the sofa, or at least coming running at the slightest noise. Why had she not shown herself at all today?
I was clueless. The mere fact that she existed seemed to annoy people. Why did she refuse to come out?
Was this a new tactic? I frowned and headed toward the bedroom. It felt odd. Without hesitation, I opened the door wide. Something urgent was happening.
“…Haa.”
I had thought she had run away, but there she lay on the bed, completely covered by the blanket up to her head.
Irritation flared. I roughly swept aside her hair with a rough hand and turned my body, then froze. It was because of the sound that irritated my ear.
Her breathing was ragged.
“Jin Yeon-woo.”
“…”
“Jin Yeon-woo, are you asleep?”
Her arms were in a bad way. No matter how furious I was, I had been working hard, yet here she was sleeping comfortably, letting the anger I had suppressed rise again.
“Jin Yeon-woo!”
I called her name several times, but there was no answer. I approached the bed with loud footsteps, unlike my usual quiet self.
“Jin Yeon-woo. Can’t you hear me calling you?”
I yanked the blanket away. The sight that met my eyes was the woman lying there.
“…Jin Yeon-woo?”
Her entire body was burning red. With every ragged breath, her chest rose and fell painfully. I reached out and touched her forehead.
It was far too hot.
“Jin Yeon-woo. Wake up. Open your eyes.”
I shook her shoulder. She opened her eyes slightly, then closed them weakly.
“Damn it. Really…”
I immediately took out my phone and called my doctor.
“Come to the annex right away. It’s urgent.”
I checked her breathing by placing my fingers under her nose. Her breath was too weak. It seemed she might die without any intervention.
I had faced this before.
“You need to take care of your health. What is this…”
I pulled her tie roughly and looked at her quietly. Every time she breathed, a wheezing sound reached my ears annoyingly.
Not long after, the doctor arrived. I watched from behind as he examined her.
“Why is this happening?”
“That’s… it’s right before malnutrition.”
“Eh? Malnutrition in this era…”
In an age when everyone eats too well and is overflowing with nutrition, she has malnutrition. Does that even make sense? I furrowed my brows deeply.
“You seem to have been eating poorly lately, and the stress must be terrible.”
“….”
“I’ll give you an IV, but once you feel better, I’ll remove the needle. And from now on, you must eat properly.”
“I understand.”
My irritation climbed.
“Before the IV, could you change into some clothes? You’ve sweated a lot; your clothes are all soaked.”
“…Yes.”
The doctor left the room after changing her clothes and closing the door behind him. I stared at her, lying motionless as if dead.
Malnutrition? I let out a bitter laugh.
If this had been the past, I might have felt sorry. But now it was different. I would no longer be deceived by her. No, even if it was real, it would not matter.
She had not been deprived of food by anyone. She had brought the illness upon herself. I felt nothing but disgust.
After removing her underwear and clothes, I changed her into new ones. I noticed her knees, covered in bruises, through the thin fabric.
“…”
After changing her clothes, I called the doctor again. The needle was already in the back of her hand.
“When you wake up, you must eat something. Take your medicine regularly.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“It would be better if you visited the hospital once you feel better. I recommend a full check-up.”
The doctor handed me the medicine packet and left. I watched her with eyes that did not close even once.
Thanks to the IV, she looked much better than before. Her breathing had also improved.
I turned when I heard voices outside. She had opened her eyes.
“…Who on earth is trying to make you angry? Or are you pretending to be pitiful just to get my sympathy?”
“…”
“Or did you do this on purpose to make me angry?”
When she did not reply, she closed her eyes again. I sighed and left the room.
When I came out to the kitchen, Mrs. Song was opening the refrigerator. Before the doctor left, I had asked Mrs. Song to come to the annex and make some soup.
“Has that person been eating by herself?”
I asked, wondering if Mrs. Song knew since she often came to clean. I had sometimes left snacks in the fridge, so perhaps she knew something.
But Mrs. Song’s eyes widened.
“Now that you mention it, there was no sign that she ate anything. I thought she was eating outside.”
That meant she had not eaten at home. I had prepared dinner and knew she would at least eat something, but apparently not.
“Make some soup quickly.”
“Yes, I understand.”
My mood was foul, as if I had been doused in mud, because I now understood the reason for her malnutrition.