The Vasectomy
pMin Tae-yeon slept curled among the soft, fluffy Egyptian cotton bedding, her body swallowed by the white blanket up to her neck. The woman who lay there looked like a child. Her sleeping face was so pure it felt unreal.
pWith innocent eyes she could gaze at me without judgment, never questioning my twisted thoughts or demanding to know how I felt about her. She did not scold me.
pSeeing Min Tae-yeon asleep, Choi Hyun-seo’s lips curved upward without his permission. Just looking at her like this made my heart warm and light. In one word, I was an idiot. As I watched her sleeping face, memories from the past surfaced.
pMin Tae-yeon had always been the one who fell asleep first. After reaching the peak of passion and panting, she would rest her head quietly on my chest. I would stroke her back until her breathing evened out and she slipped into sleep.
pSo the sight of Min Tae-yeon asleep had become something familiar to me. My gaze toward her wavered. She seemed to be dreaming and frowned. It looked like a bad dream.
p“Is it a nightmare?”
pIt wasn’t what I wanted at all. Only a sinner like me would dream of nightmares. Not pretty Min Tae-yeon. Just her slightly furrowed brows were enough to make me feel irritated and uneasy. I reached out to smooth the crease between her brows with my finger, then stopped in mid-air.
pWaking her up unnecessarily would be pointless. And pretending to enter a woman’s room just to disturb her was beneath me.
pCome to think of it, the blankets she slept under were all in my taste. Everything in this room was. In this room arranged exactly to my liking, Min Tae-yeon had entered this house, raised Yun-woo, and for more than a year and a half hadn’t changed even a single thing in this bedroom.
pSo this place was still my room. She had lain in this body that had lived here as I had, in the room shaped by my tastes, and had spent her life here. Yet nothing had changed. Even if Min Tae-yeon disappeared just like this, nothing would change.
pWhy did I do all this?
pEven if I had changed everything to suit her, I wouldn’t have said a word.……
pChoi Hyun-seo stared quietly at Tae-yeon, then walked toward the dressing room. The room was thick with Min Tae-yeon’s scent. It had once been filled only with his own cologne. Now it was sweeter, deeper, and carried a melting warmth.
pHis chest tightened for no reason. He knew it was the restlessness of missing something he refused to lose. Yet he knew he had to let go. He couldn’t force it. No, if he kept it like this, he would be held captive by Min Tae-yeon.
pHe had already given her his entire heart and body. Only a hollow shell remained. If he didn’t snap out of it now, his life might be sucked away.
pWhile he thought these things, time had already slipped toward dawn. In the end, the sleeplessness was all Min Tae-yeon’s fault. During the business trip he hadn’t slept because he was thinking of her, but now with her beside him he couldn’t even look at her without losing sleep.
pWhat was this all about? The decision had better be quick.
p* * *
pEarlier than usual that morning, Choi Hyun-seo called out to Tae-yeon while nibbling on breakfast.
p“Come here a moment.”
pTae-yeon sat quietly in the chair in front of him.
p“If you want anything, do it. I’ll handle all the preparations. I’ll look for a house too.”
p“It’s fine, Director.”
p“No. I’m not fine with it. Unless you’re trying to provoke me, do exactly as I say. Since you’re taking Yun-woo, I won’t accept you refusing my help. It’s unacceptable.”
pIt sounded like a command. Even though the contract still had five months left, if Choi Hyun-seo broke it now, it would be impossible for him to keep raising Yun-woo.
pTae-yeon knew better than anyone how generous it was to let him raise Yun-woo until he grew up. It meant he trusted her that much.
pEven as a woman, she was at least a trusted subordinate. Tae-yeon nodded.
p“Yes, I understand.”
pOnly after hearing her answer did Choi Hyun-seo relax his stiff expression. It wasn’t divorce. It was separation. So he was still the boss, the superior, and her husband.
p“Good.”
p* * *
pEverything about separation moved forward like a well-oiled machine. One week later Choi Hyun-seo found an apartment for Tae-yeon and Yun-woo. Tae-yeon packed her small belongings. She had to sort them carefully so the movers wouldn’t make mistakes. While tidying the closet and simple items, she found Choi Hyun-seo’s document file in the dressing room. It looked like it had been brought yesterday; it should be moved to the study.
pSuch a meticulous person like Choi Hyun-seo kept documents in the dressing room. Well, he had a lot of work, so it made sense.
pThe study was as always spotless. Tae-yeon placed the document envelope on the desk. Just as she turned to leave, something strange caught her eye. Beneath a cutting board, a document poked out—a Korean hospital document.
pLooking closer, there were more. Medical appointment slips and a notice about vasectomy. What if she had poured ice water over her head?
pTae-yeon checked the date on the appointment slip. It was already six months old. Six months ago was when Oh Jin-hee had insisted on brewing herbal medicine because she wanted to have a second child.
pBefore the business trip, this man had already gotten a vasectomy.
pEven at this point of facing separation, his meticulousness stung. Tae-yeon closed her eyes tightly. It shouldn’t have surprised her, but why couldn’t she let go? This was exactly why she shouldn’t be beside that man.
pIn the end it was a perfect escape. To him she was just a subordinate raising Yun-woo. A sex partner. Nothing else. Well, it was better that way. A clean cut with no remaining regrets. Trembling, she left the study and spent the next two days sick in bed.
pWhy did a person feel so weak when her heart, love, and invisible things were all involved? She had survived long days at Miwoo F&C and part-time jobs to pay for her mother’s hospital bills, yet now she was so fragile. Min Tae-yeon.
pShe mocked herself while trying desperately to become stronger. With Yun-woo smiling at her, she could do it better now. And she had to. She had to protect Yun-woo from the whirlpool of greed and raise him healthy.
p* * *
pTae-yeon moved into the apartment Choi Hyun-seo had prepared. It was quite spacious. She didn’t know exactly how much of her living expenses it would cost, but it was worryingly large.
pYun-woo’s room was perfect, and Icheon-daek had moved in with them. The only difference was that Choi Hyun-seo was gone. Other than that, nothing had changed. Choi Hyun-seo hadn’t changed either. He was still living in the house he had lived in before marriage.
pCould couples who lived together and then separated not change at all?
pWith a bitter heart she gazed out at the sprawling view. Icheon-daek, holding Yun-woo, let out a soft exclamation.
p“Oh, he arranged the room exactly like it used to be. The Vice President is really thoughtful. By the way, why are you two separating? You two were thinking so well.”
pTae-yeon didn’t answer. Of course Icheon-daek hadn’t expected her to reply.
pLate at night Tae-yeon stood quietly by the window, staring at the lights of Teheran-ro below. It was high up— a view she couldn’t see from a single-family house.
pIt wasn’t a new thing that Choi Hyun-seo was gone. She had grown used to sleeping alone during the long business trip, yet leaving his house felt different. It was empty and lonely. The spacious house felt too hollow, and she even resented him for it.
pWas she supposed to receive punishment for not being able to stand it and claiming separation? There was no need to find such a large house for her.
p“Haa!”
pYet in some way she felt relieved. The part she had always had to worry about was gone.
p“Yeah. It’s for the best. Even if we divorce later, it won’t be that hard. We’re following the proper steps.”
pShe forced herself to sleep. Past midnight, with the help of a sleep aid, she finally fell asleep. Intense sunlight streamed through the window facing east. When she rubbed her sore eyes open again, she felt a deeper sense of loss.
pIt wasn’t Choi Hyun-seo’s house anymore. She had left his house.
pShe had expected relief, but realizing that living in the same house meant no longer being his wife brought a new kind of pain that made her lips dry and her heart heavy.